I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say, but my heart goes out to you. I hope that this all works out for the best and you are able to enter a marriage free of serious issues. You are such a strong woman. You are dealing with this in such a mature way.
Despite this being such a hard situation, you seem to be handling this with such strength and grace. I hope you everything works out for you and your family.
I am sorry.I hope counseling helps your relationship.
I can totally understand where you are coming from on holding back and not giving all of yourself in a relationship.I have the same problem with not giving a 100% of myself.
Many many ((((HUGS)))) for you.
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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.- Ralph Waldo Emerson