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Metric


Gucci

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more wedding/shower awesomeness
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So finally, after a number of unreturned calls, I finally got hold of my bff's MOH for the wedding we are in in a few weeks (see my previous thread).

Apparently she has planned the shower and the stagette and doesn't want or need any of my help. I am the only other BM but she enlisted the help of another friend and wouldn't call me. Awesome.

She planned the shower for the afternoon in her town an hour away then the stagette the same night to play mini golf at a sports bar in the city. Mini golf? For a stagette? Whatever.weirdface

She didn't have my address (and never bothered to call) so she just gave my invitation to the bride, who hasn't called me or emailed or let me know what's going on. I still don't have a wedding invitation even. I have no idea whats going on. Awesome.

A few minutes after we got off the phone to discuss the shower, she texted me and said "BTW your half for the food and limo is $120". What? I'm not trying to be a bitch but since I had no part in the planning and I haven't actually been invited, do I have to share the costs of it? (None of the regular guests have to contribute to the cost).

I'm so mad. This is turning into the wedding from hell. Help me! Wtf should I do???

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cahabo


Kate Spade

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If I were in your place I'd refuse to foot half the bill and also wouldn't attend the shower. If the other bridesmaid didn't want any help planning, then she should have no help in paying for it!

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blubirde


Chanel

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Ugh. Part of me (if I were you) would want to take a stand and refuse to pay, call both the MOH and the bride out on their inconsideration, and let the cards fall as they may. But the rational part of me would suck it up and make the best of it. I don't know if there's a happy medium but unfortunately with weddings it's really hard to call people out for being assholes, even though we really should.

Good luck with whatever you do. I definitely don't envy you. (That totally doesn't help, does it?)

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Hermione


Kate Spade

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I am truly appalled at the mess this has all turned out to be - both on the part of the bride and now this MOH - if she and her friend decided to make all the decisions, refused help from you, and did not even bother to call you to GET your address to send you an invite - I would not pay. Seriously, I am seething on your behalf. I would just say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but since I wasn't involved or included in any part of this, I don't feel that I have any obligation to cover the expenses of a party I didn't plan. Maybe the friend that planned this with you would be willing to help you out." I would probably emphasize it as her party as she did this on her own, with a friend instead of the only other member of the bridal party, and did it in her town, as you said, like an hour away from everyone else.  Seriously, this is ridiculous.

Normally I would say to kindof suck things up in a wedding situation, as I have on the last two things (bride not making decisions, shower far away) but I think this takes the cake and given alllllllllllllllllll the things added up, I would draw the line here. 


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Elle


Hermes

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Well, since it wasn't your decision to spend that much on food and a limo, I don't think you should be expected to pay for it.  I'd ignore the text and pretend like you never even got it, show up at the shower like nothing ever happened.  Play dumb about the money if they ask - Isn't the person who plans the shower supposed to pay for it?  wink.gif

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Hermione


Kate Spade

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p.s. - I think that also she KNOWS how weird the situation is, and that's why she texted you instead of saying it on the phone - she was probably nervous to say it

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Yeeks. I like Elle's suggestion.

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kmd


Kate Spade

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I wouldn't give her a dime. In fact, I probably wouldn't even go. I'd be livid!

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blink


Coach

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OMG.  I don't even know what to say or what I would do!  There is just NO reason or excuse for how you are being treated.  I like what Elle and Hermione say.

Poor thing, good luck with this!

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Hermione


Kate Spade

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Metric- how did it all go down? Anything yet?

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