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e_doli


Dooney & Bourke

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wedding for the bride or for her guests?
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one of my best friends just got engaged and i'm helping her plan the wedding.  she has always dreamed of a tropical wedding -- this is just how she imagines herself getting married.  we live in CT, so it's not happening close to home.


her family would be cool with traveling, as would all her friends.  it's her fiance's side that's the problem.  they are all very small minded and would definately complaing about traveling.  (actually, they would complain about anything besides chicken cordon bleu at the local VFW)  luckly, this is his 2nd marriage and doesn't care so much about his whole family being there, but there are some friends he wants there.


she is worried that these friends (2 couples in particular) would complain about spending the money to travel and want to bring their kids (she doesn't want kids there -- between the friends there are 4 -- ages 6,5,3,2)


these couples have plenty of money to travel when they're planning the trip. they just planned a trip to vegas that my friend and her fiance went on and managed to find someone to watch the kids while they were away. 


basically, i'm afraid my friend is going to end up making her choices based on what's easy for half of her guests (not wanting to upset anyone) and miss out on the wedding she's always wanted and deserves.  i don't want to harass her about it, but i'm not sure how far i should go in trying to convince her to do what SHE wants (if i should do that at all).  


any advice?? -- should i not say anything about it to her?  is it wrong of me to think she should do what she wants and if people don't like it they don't have to come (and if they don't come then they really aren't that great of friends anyway)?



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Elle


Hermes

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I think it's a fine line to walk between doing what you want to do as a bride and cutting off your nose to spite your face and ending up with no guests.  Since the brides side is fine and dandy with the travel, maybe the couple could offer to pay for some of the Hubby's friend's expenses if they make a fuss?  If he lets them know that it's really important to him that they come and he is willing to help make that happen, it would be pretty nasty of them to refuse.  As long as the hubby's alright with most of his family passing on the event, then they should go for their tropical dream wedding!

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
Ally S


Kate Spade

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Encourage her strongly to have the wedding that she and her fiance dream of and then mention since it is a destination wedding she might want to hold a small scale celebration at home for those that could not travel. Even mention that it could be a event where those that have children could still be comfortable bringing them.


She shouldn't have to sacrifice what she wants for a few couples and this might be a good solution for everyone.



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~Ally~
nyc_shopgirl


Dooney & Bourke

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As a recent bridal magazine cover said ITS ALL ABOUT YOU. The wedding is for the bride and groom and should be planned to suit their tastes not their guests their guest are guest who are invited to share in THEIR special day.

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