STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

I'm one too! One of my bffs from law school is getting married in November and she asked me! Over her sister, no less. It's quite the honor, isn't it?

I've read some books at the bookstores on weddings and what not (although I was terribly embarrassed for some reason), and the best info I found was on theknot.com. They have MOH duty lists, suggestions, articles, etc. It's very helpful to know what's expected of you.

For my part, I've been in charge of making sure the BMs got their dresses ordered. It was actually quite a handful. There are 11(!!) bridesmaids (thanks to the groom) and 6 dress choices from 2 different bridal shops. And all but 3 of us live out of state and 1 lives in London. Talk about a chore! But I've kept an email list of everyone, kept our email correspondence, and made a google docs accessible to me and the bride (so she can keep abreast if she's interested). I've also helped with hair and make-up organizing for the big day.

I went with her to go dress shopping; I've been in contact with the other bms re: showers and bachelorette parties; I've been in touch with both the groom's mom and the bride's mom re: parties, get-togethers, gifts, etc.; I'm keeping a pretty book with all the gift information (and putting it in a google docs as well so the bride and groom can look at it anytime); I'm trying to plan some spa activities for the week before the wedding; I've gone with the bride to check out make-up artists; hmmm.... what else?

Basically I've volunteered to be there for whatever she wants and/or needs. We meet periodically and go over wedding stuff and have venting sessions. I'm also working on a local visitor's guide for the out of towners. I also take pics or keep copies of anything I find that I think they might like. It's not difficult really. I just keep an eye out when I'm out and about and if it's cool, I grab a copy (if available) or snap a pic on my camera phone for them.

Oh! I almost forgot. I made party favors for a family meet-up. It wasn't necessary at all but I'm kind of proud of them and can't rightfully brag without looking like an ass. But since you asked... right? Anyway, the women on both sides of the family were meeting for the first time and the bride was having some difficulties getting communication going between the groom's family (the hostesses) and her family. So with the bride's permission, I emailed/called the groom's mom and aunt and volunteered my help. I helped her get all the information she needed without her being pushy and the party turned out beautifully. In the meantime the groom's mom asked me to be in charge of party favors. That's what I get for volunteering, right? ; ) The theme was "Italian," which is to say that there wasn't really a theme but we were having Italian food and the bride's family is Italian (and I brought a bunch of Italian-themed decorations). So I made everyone a jar of Italian spices (a recipe from epicurious) used for dipping sauces, bread, etc. I attached a nice quote and instructions on recipe uses and it was really quite Martha Stewart-ish. Sorry for the long story but I'm still so proud of my craftiness! It's so rare that my attempts at such things work out correctly.

I'm sure you'll be a great MOH. Once my bff asked me, we got together over drinks and discussed what she expected from me. That's a great place to start. She also asked me what I expected of her and what made me dislike a previous wedding experience in which I'd been a BM. It was quite nice. I think we're closer because of it - or at least we will be if she doesn't get tired of all my OCDness!

blubird you are AMAZING!!! i hope your friend knows how lucky she is! my MOH lived far away so there wasn't much she could do physically but just knowing i could call and ask her opinion on things or have her look for unique ideas on things was helpful for me.

imo, just being there for her during this time is the most important duty of all!