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nyc_shopgirl


Dooney & Bourke

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Update: My sister the bridal thief - bridal rant
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My older sister strikes again. She calls me from the bridal shop she picked out a bridesmaid dress. Oh it is the one I picked out and wanted for my wedding. I even showed all of my friends who are various shapes and sizes and they all loved it and could not wait to get it. She called to see if it bothered me. I said if it did would it deter her from picking the dress? She said NO. So I was like so this is just a courtesy call. Thanks.


I am so upset. My mom is with her my mom knew how much i wanted this dress for my bridesmaids. I sent my sister an IM after our call tell her I really am upset and asked if she wanted to see the invitations I have my eye on too so she can get those for her wedding. Apparently even though I do all the research and know exactly what I want she is getting married first and can pick everything I like and wanted.


Some of you will probably tell me i am being a baby but this keeps happening. I am at the point where I am not sharing my wedding ideas with my mom because I fear she will let them slip to my sister


UPDATE: I called my mom after work and she was like I was the one who thought the dress was perfect. She then BLAMED me for researching my wedding so far in advance and was llike you have no knowledge if the dress will still be around in a year when you order it. You have no clame to it. I was like mom it is not about the dress it is about respecting someones feelings. I told her I told some friends and she was like you better not tell your FMIL which makes me think she is a bit embarassed for her actions. I am going to be the bigger person and just let it go and from now on only do what is asked of me and not go out of my way to help my sister or share ideas with my mom. (Maybe have my fiance's boss draft up a confidentiality agreement) (ok only kidding). Sorry for rambling still in a bit of shock over this treatment by my family and their wanton disregard for my feelngs. 



-- Edited by nyc_shopgirl at 22:58, 2005-01-04

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Maddie


Coach

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RE: My sister the bridal thief - bridal rant
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That's horrible!  You're not being a baby at all!  I would probably physically fight my sister if she pulled shit like that.  Actually I'd tell her that I wouldn't attend her wedding since I'd already seen it once the first time around.  Cause I'm real mature like that.  You should stick to your guns and not let her use that dress!

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lsubatgirl


Gucci

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I don't blame you at all for being pissed.  I think its selfish of her to want to use the same things you have picked out.  Maybe you will find something even better.  When is her wedding in relation to yours?

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nyc_shopgirl


Dooney & Bourke

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She is getting married July 2005 and I am getting married Sept 2006. I am the type who over researches everything in life and like to plan far in advance. I like to have a clear picture long a head of time what I am going to do I have gotten to be very type A.


I know that I have TONS of time to find another even better dress. I am more upset at the principle of the whole thing. I have been fighting with my mom for several months on how she never stands up for me and how my feelings are never taken into consideration when it comes to my sisters. Whereas when she does things for me my sisters always play a role. This is just another example of how my feelings mean shit to her and she will let my sister walk all over me and take my ideas. Its about respecting me and only my father can seem to do that.



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lsubatgirl


Gucci

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I can only imagine how you are feeling.  I am type A+++ and I've already started planning my wedding and I'm not engaged.  Its not going to be before 2007 but I want to have it all sorted out so I don't have to deal with it then.


I know it sucks but I wouldn't share anything with your sister until after her wedding. That is the only way you can be sure she won't take any more of your ideas.  You haven't shown her your dress yet have you?  Maybe you can pull the same thing on her if you haven't picked one and just happen to pick hers (not really but to get her all upset) for a month or two.



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nyc_shopgirl


Dooney & Bourke

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The plot thickens... So my sister is now saying that if i continue to be upset and hurt she will take me out of being her maid of honor. I told her I am hurt I will get over it but am sad that me being hurt and feeling disrespected does not effect her at all (yes I am playing the martyr and I will milk for all it is worth)

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honey


Gucci

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i'm sorry. i understand how people get when it comes to big events like this, and it is upsetting to feel like someone is "stealing" your ideas. your best option might just be to limit what you share with your mom, which will be hard, but it might just be what you have to do. and if you're mom asks you what's wrong you can always explain to her (again) how you feel. hopefully it will sink in.

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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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Tell her she cant use the dress.. Thats not fair of her to behave that way...


Stop telling them your ideas if you have too.. or at least tell some friends who arent getting married anytime soon!


 



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mikacat


Coach

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RE: Update: My sister the bridal thief - bridal rant
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that is awful---I am so sorry!


Don't share anymore with either of them about your wedding. There are about 50,000 different types of b-maids dresses out there and to pick the same one is just spiteful on her part. When is her wedding/  your wedding?  How close in age are you guys?Are you good friends? Is she jealous? Why is she doing this? Can you talk to her about it or is it just better to let it go and plan with friends and us?


 Don't worry about it---we will help you find something even better.



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Irene


Dooney & Bourke

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Why would you want to be her MOH with the way she is treating you. I know she is your sister, but she isn't acting like it.

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blink


Coach

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Her wedding and yours are entirely seperate and she can use whatever bridesmaid dresses she wants.  Yes, it does stink that she happened to decide on the same ones you had picked.  Take it as a compliment to your taste and then tell her it's only up to her if she wants you to be maid of honor or not.  Maybe tell her that you feel quite "dishonored" already by the fact that she copied your bridesmaid dress.  If you want your wedding to be unique from your sister's, don't share your ideas with her until her wedding is over if at all.

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