STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

day after wedding brunch?

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

Not a bride, but I have been a guest at the day after brunch for out-of-towners. My thoughts? If the bride and groom weren't there I would have been pretty offended. After all, I took the time and spent the money to go to their wedding (which sometimes came to over $1000). They should be grateful enough to give the people that did so a few more hours of their time.

sfclinevandy · Coach

This issue was my only bridezilla moment. My My mom REALLY wanted one, she even printed invitations but I was adamently against it. I was already sick of planned wedding events. The week of the wedding I had my last shower, then the big rehearsal dinner, then the day of the wedding I had a bridal luncheon thrown by some of my mom's friends with all my female friends and relatives, then the wedding and reception. I felt guilty parents spending more money on anymore frivilous stuff (the brunch my mom planned would have been at the hotel where most of the guests stayed so she would have had to pay for food, flowers, etc). And this is terrible, but most of the people who would be attending would be the inlaw's friends and family and I really didn't think my parents should have to put this on since the inlaws have been a pain throughout our relationship.

But, if my parents did it at their house, I think that would have been more fun. Since our guests mainly flew, getting to our house (about 10-15 minutes away) would have been difficult so so the house was not an option.

All of my craziness aside, I really think you should go if they throw a brunch. It would be tacky not to make an appearance unless you had already left for your honeymoon.

Are your parents inviting any of your Fiance's friends or family? Maybe he'd more interested in going if he knew his friends would be there.

Kelly · Hermes

I agree with Farrah and sfclinevandy. Even if your FH doesn't want to go, I think it would be rude not to. I know he wants you all to himself, but I would feel slighted if I went to all that trouble to attend someone's wedding, buy them a gift, travel out of town, etc. and they didn't even show up at the brunch the next day.

Chic · Marc Jacobs

We had one and my husband initially didn't want to go, but the next day he was excited to see everyone again. There are always people you feel you never get a chance to talk to enough at your wedding and this gave us a chance to say goodbye to family and friends that had traveled so far for our wedding. I do think your FI needs to put in an appearance and hopefully he will change his mind the morning off.

Our was very casual, just bagels and coffee at my parents cottage. We had a destination wedding in SC, where everyone stayed in the cottages that were on the property. Everyone just stopped by on their way back to GA. I think that since it was very casual, it took a lot of pressure off my husband.

jj · Kate Spade

We had one, and I have been to many. We left for our honeymoon two days after the wedding also.

Even though you think you may be too tired, I say do it! We had so much fun laughing about the crazy things that happened at the reception, eating and relaxing after all the wedding hoopla.

I asked if we could keep ours low key, so my parents had it at their house and it was totally casual. After planning all the outfits and getting dressed up for pre-wedding activities, I wanted to show up in jeans and a tee shirt. The most important thing was to have tons of food. We went back to the hotel where we were staying until the honeymoon around 3 and took a nap and got ready to leave the next morning.

HeatherLynn · Gucci

I was recently in a wedding where there was a brunch the next morning at the hotel and the bride and groom did not go. However, everyone thought it was weird so the bride's parents ended up calling her on the phone because everyone wanted to talk to them.

I agree with the other girls- if you have a brunch you need to stop by. =)

ILoveChoo · Hermes

I did! I actually really liked being able to talk to the out of towners in a more relaxed setting (I dont see them that often). It was also kind of fun to be all "yeah ,we're married now and these people know it"

eta: mine was really small- maybe 15 people- and very casual. We all just went out. So its wasn't like another "wedding event"

-- Edited by ILoveChoo at 18:20, 2008-04-09

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

thanks for all the feedback. if it were up to me, we'd be there no questions asked. but FH does not want to go at all and right now there is no budging him. i agree that it will be rude to not show up, but that doesn't sway him either. :( he said this is the one thing he won't change his mind on. we did the wedding pretty much exactly how i wanted, and he said the only thing he really wants is to whisk me away and be romantic and alone.

unexpectedly, my mom is in total agreement with him and understands why he feels this way. i was afraid her feelings would be hurt, but she said she'd be happy to not have a brunch at all and that she'd want to leave like he does if she was in our shoes. i'm not sure now if they'll even have a brunch after all.

i always heard from friends how stressful wedding planning could be and now i totally understand why!

littlebean · Kate Spade

All the weddings that I've gone to lately have brunches afterwards (but these weddings have also involved major travel for all or virtually all of the guests). I would have been very surprised and possibly offended if the bride and groom weren't in attendance, so I think it's probably for the best not to have the brunch. Great solution. No one will be disappointed -- sometimes they can be quite anti-climactic!

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

we had one, and it was DH's favorite event of the weekend. It is nice to be able to sit and talk to the people whom you haven't seen in a while and who you didn't get to talk to at the wedding. I remember that we showed up a little later than everyone else did- -took our time getting up that morning before going to the brunch. Everyone forgave us.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

Knowing FH, I suspect he may change his mind at the last minute and want to go, if there is still a brunch after all!