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twinkle · Coach

Bachelorette party advice

halah · Kenneth Cole

I think it's key to take the bride's wishes in to consideration, but keep a few surprises, mix in at least one or two slightly embarrassing moments and if possible get all the girls to chip in so the bride doesn't have to pay for anything that night! You could combine a shower with the party if you wanted.

Does she want something low-key and relaxing or does she want to have a wild party night? Most of the time we all meet up at the MOH's house drink and catch-up then present the bride with the cheesy veil, "Bride to Be" sash and whatever other embarrassing thing we want her to wear. Then we all go out to a couple of bars to dance. We've had guys buy us rounds of shots, had a bride pulled up on stage at a piano bar and serenaded etc...the veil will get her extra attention when you go out.

To make it extra special I think it's great when you can get a lot of close friends together so you can all reminisce and the bride can vent about any wedding planning stresses and talk openly (usually that means not inviting future in-laws or mom). For one friend we each wrote down one piece of marriage/relationship advice on the inside of a "100 sexual poses" book...it turned out to be funny and pretty embarrassing for her when she opened it up at the restaurant. For another we turned the night into a scavenger hunt with things like "find a guy with a belly button ring, make him buy you a shot."

Oh whatever you do make sure you take a lot of pictures!

Good luck planning!

Elle · Hermes

Talk to the bride about what kind of thing she wants, and get a list from her of who she'd like to be invited. Then whatever it is you end up doing, plan it as far in advance as you possibly can!

My 'bachelorette' thing was pretty lame - my MOH waited until the very very last second to invite everyone (These people have children! Lives! Jobs!) and nobody but the MOH and my bridesmaid (hubby's sister) could make it. It was in fact supposed to be a combo shower/bachelorette thing even. So we went to lunch a fancy hotel downtown, and then went to a very expensive spa. MOH paid something totally ridiculous like $450 for a couple spa treatments for us (and I don't even like the spa!), and then dropped me off at home. Sweet Jesus I would have had a better time if we went to Chuck E. Cheese and had $450 worth of pizza and tickets!

So um, please don't wait 'til the last second!

I also attended a bachelorette party about a month after my own wedding. I am at best a casual friend of a friend of the bride really. We went downtown for a dinner (15 of us), only to be told at the restaraunt that they couldn't seat us (MOH had only called to see if we could get a table that day (saturday) and they were too busy). We we trecked all around trying to call places that could seat us. We found one - a very expensive place. MOH ordered 2 huge appetizer platters (at $50 a piece) for the table. When the bill arrives, everyone tries to pay for their own meals/drinks, and we find out that apparently everyone is splitting the $100 worth of appetizers, the brides meal, and the 7 ($10) martinis MOH has ordered for her. Evenly. It cost me $75 that evening, only $30 of which was my own dinner and single drink.

Again, I think the moral of that story is plan! in! advance!, and keep everyone's budget in mind wouldn't hurt, either!

Alikat · Kate Spade

Definitely ask your friend if she has any wishes.

I’m in on the planning with my MOH (older sis) – I told her I wanted to have something local but fun. During the afternoon we are going to do something relaxing like wine tasting or a social spa (like the beauty bar or something). Afterwards we'll be doing casual dinner and barhopping in SF.