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Post Info TOPIC: How do I attract these weirdos?-- Funny, yet creepy


Chanel

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How do I attract these weirdos?-- Funny, yet creepy
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This has nothing to do with D or E, but it's something that occurred in early November and has a hysterical update as of yesterday.

Here's the blog I posted on myspace, so you all get the idea:

I realize that it's been a while since the last installment of The Hamburger Diaries. Not that things have been any less crazy here, but crazy doesn't necessarily mean bad. And the good kind of crazy is what may eventually end The Hamburger Diaries, so read up while you can. These won't last forever. But I promise, the latest trip to the drive-thru was a good one.

I recently went out on one, solitary date with a rather persistent guy. If I were to be completely honest, it was a pity date on my side. After he called me repeatedly (and I only responded to one of the calls) and harassed our mutual friend non-stop about me, I decided to go out on a date with him. If nothing else, to simply prove how utterly incompatible we are and to stop the insanity.

Date night arrives and I'm dreading it. He announces to me upon arrival that he's broke and only has $20. Great. He's been bugging me for months to go on a date and now I'm going to have to pay for myself (side note, I am NOT one of those girls that thinks guys should pay however, this guy, with all of his zeal, should have). We end up at a pretty chill bar and I have to admit, that yes, this guy is pretty funny. What's not funny is the fact that it's 45 minutes into the date and he's on his third Jack Daniels on the rocks.

A half an hour and another Jack Daniels later, I start to get tired and funny guy isn't so funny anymore. And I'm bored. We go to another bar, have one drink and I tell him that I'm ready to go home. Unfortunately, thanks to his buddy, Jack, my date is too toasted to drive. Okay, fine, I'm hungry anyway, so we hit a late night pizza place. I buy my own pizza (and his, because I'm hoping food will sober him up so that he can drive home and end this misery) and we sit down at a table. The girl next to us notices my shoes, looks at my date and says, "Those shoes are hot. You need to take her home and have your way with her while she..s wearing only those shoes." God, I love friendly drunk people. I nearly choke on my pizza and my date has this frightenly squirrelly look in his eyes. I need to get out of here. Yesterday.

I snarf down the rest of my pizza and tell drunk man that it..s time to go. Unfortunately, he's too drunk to drive us home, so I have to drive his car. This date is going so well. We finally make it back to my house and I think he's got some crazy idea in his head that I want to take pizza girl's advice. He starts to follow me into my house and I turn around, tell him that I'm tired and it..s my bedtime. I..m hoping that he's sober enough by now to drive himself home. He says he is. Good enough for me. I'm done babysitting for the evening. I dart inside and pray that I never have to speak to him again. God wasn't listening.

The guy called me the next day. Ugh. Clearly, he though that we were compatible. Even though, I told him that the fact that he never wants to leave the sorry hole of Lancaster County is a deal breaker for me. Even though, I dashed into my house and ducked out of his hug (kiss?..SHUDDER) attempt. Even though, it was pretty clear that I was annoyed that he was the DD and got too drunk to drive. Impressive.

I don't answer his phone call. I take the easy way out and send him a message via myspace. Two days later. I tell him that I'm busy until next year, which is entirely true. This was early November and I was booked through Christmas. This doesn't phase Persistent Man. He tells me to let him know whenever I'm free the following week because he'd really like to see me again. I respond with the same message- busy until next year. He responds with a phone call (which I don't answer) and another myspace message.

By now, I'm realizing that the one-date wonder isn't going to get the message unless I beat him over the head with it. So, I finally tell him that, while he's a nice guy, I'm just not interested. I've got other things going on right now and really don't want to date anyone else. And his response was priceless.

He deleted me from his friends list. As soon as he read the message. Then, he deleted his profile pic and headline and set his profile to private. What a perfect reaction. For a 12 year old. Have I mentioned that Persistant Man is 36? Have I also mentioned that after the first date, I noticed that he had moved me into his top friends? Only mildly creepy, really. If he had this ridiculous of a reaction after one date, I can only imagine how absolutely frightening he would be in a relationship.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make an attempt to pick up the pieces and move on with my life.


And here's the update as of yesterday:


This crazy guy sends me a hate message via myspace basically telling me that I'm a player, I should go to hell and he can't wait until I move away from the area b/c he'll be glad to see me gone. It actually had a rather threatening tone about it.

So, I responded to him and told him that his reaction was that of a 12 year old and that I didn't 'play' him just because I went on one date with him and decided that I wasn't interested. That's what happens when people date- sometimes one person realizes that two people aren't right for each other even if the other person is convinced that they are. I also mentioned that this was quite the extreme reaction for someone with whom I only went on one date and that it further solidified my decision.

His response:
He overreacted, but he is an angry, sad person and just wanted to hurt someone. He's 36 years old and has never had a second date with a women, never even kissed or actually even touched a woman (WTF?!!) and that he thinks that he'll never find anyone. He thought things were going really well with us (there was an us?) and was hugely dissappointed when I told him that I wasn't interested. He feels like time is running out and he needs to find someone soon (yikes!).

So, uh, yeah. What the hell??? Where do these weirdos come from and how the hell do they manage to find me? Every. Single. Time.

Just thought I'd share.

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Gucci

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That's insane!


Sounds like there may be a reason that he isn't having any luck in love.  You'd think he'd figure out that he needs to change his approach.


 



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Hermes

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Whoa.


Dude, that is crazy and that guy needs to see a therapist. 



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Marc Jacobs

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Don't talk to him. Don't respond. Don't explain. Don't excuse. Just. Don't. TALK TO HIM. He's going to do it over and over, and it will get worse and worse. The pursuit. The horrible experience that you tolerate while he takes advantage of you. The anger that you stop reacting hte way he wants. The apology and the pathetic explanation. It will happen again over and over and will get worse and worse.

Red flags: He won't take no, or hints. He blames. He has no filter or appreciate for hints. He CALLED YOU NAMES when you wouldn't do what he wanted.

Trust me. I know this type. And all you can do is never talk to him again and let him badmouth you. I had one of these who tried to date me. I said we could be friends. (Because, among other reasons, he was horribly rude to me repeatedly, despite the many compliments he gave me). He got mad. Wouldn't talk to me. Then we started being friendly again after 1 YEAR. He promptly started sending me texts at 4 a.m. EVERY MORNING sayign things like I starred in his "naughty dreams." I told him I was seeing someone and just wanted to be friends. He argued with that. I told him I was offended by the messages and didn't want them. He apologized. PROFUSELY. And then started up again in a week. I ignored him. He apologized again. Then he told everyone I was mean and crazy. Then he borrowed his FRIEND'S phone so he could CALL me at 4 a.m. I told his friend that I didn't appreciate it, but still refused to talk ot him. He eventually stopped. But ANY interaction with me before I stopped acknowledging him at all just kept it all going. He'd beg, or he'd argue, or he'd apologize, but he would never just leave.

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Hermes

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O
M
G





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Chanel

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Dizzy wrote:

Don't talk to him. Don't respond. Don't explain. Don't excuse. Just. Don't. TALK TO HIM. He's going to do it over and over, and it will get worse and worse. The pursuit. The horrible experience that you tolerate while he takes advantage of you. The anger that you stop reacting hte way he wants. The apology and the pathetic explanation. It will happen again over and over and will get worse and worse.

Red flags: He won't take no, or hints. He blames. He has no filter or appreciate for hints. He CALLED YOU NAMES when you wouldn't do what he wanted.

Trust me. I know this type. And all you can do is never talk to him again and let him badmouth you. I had one of these who tried to date me. I said we could be friends. (Because, among other reasons, he was horribly rude to me repeatedly, despite the many compliments he gave me). He got mad. Wouldn't talk to me. Then we started being friendly again after 1 YEAR. He promptly started sending me texts at 4 a.m. EVERY MORNING sayign things like I starred in his "naughty dreams." I told him I was seeing someone and just wanted to be friends. He argued with that. I told him I was offended by the messages and didn't want them. He apologized. PROFUSELY. And then started up again in a week. I ignored him. He apologized again. Then he told everyone I was mean and crazy. Then he borrowed his FRIEND'S phone so he could CALL me at 4 a.m. I told his friend that I didn't appreciate it, but still refused to talk ot him. He eventually stopped. But ANY interaction with me before I stopped acknowledging him at all just kept it all going. He'd beg, or he'd argue, or he'd apologize, but he would never just leave.




Oh, no worries with me wanting to talk to him or date him. I'm done. This was a Hamburger Diary remnant. I'm way too busy with E and D to even think about anyone else, nor do I want to. The only problem with this guy is that he is an acquaintance of D and there is a strong chance we'll run into each other. Eeeeek.

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Marc Jacobs

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Yeah, that's what I took your post to mean, that you'd see him again and know some of the same people (since he seemed to be around for so long). I didn't think you'd date him again. I was talking about all the explaining and apologizing he's doing. I think he's one of those rubber balls that just bounces back harder when you try to throw it away...

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Chanel

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Dizzy wrote:

Yeah, that's what I took your post to mean, that you'd see him again and know some of the same people (since he seemed to be around for so long). I didn't think you'd date him again. I was talking about all the explaining and apologizing he's doing. I think he's one of those rubber balls that just bounces back harder when you try to throw it away...



Gotchya. And you might be right. He was sooooo persistant. He hounded D about me non-stop for months and drove him crazy (D didn't tell me this until recently, since he and I have our own set of issues). I'm pretty much guaranteed to run into him again and I really hope that his 'need to hurt someone' goes away and he turns his attentions to something other than me (b/c that's really, really not funny). He really does need some serious therapy.

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Marc Jacobs

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This guy is freaky with a capital FREAK!  He has "future abuser" written all over him.  If you do ever have to see him again, just be polite but firm in your refusal to date or have any kind of friendship/contact.  God, it blows my mind that he thought it was acceptable to behave that way.


BTW, the fact that I'm from the next county over from Lancaster made this story all the more shudder-worthy for me.  I can so picture the night you had.



-- Edited by scarlett at 20:09, 2006-12-27

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