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BargainQueen


Marc Jacobs

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Update - Upset beyond belief w/DH - Long
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...and this time the "D" in "DH" does not mean "dear".


As some of you may know, DH & I are planning to buy a home next summer. I told DH I would start on fixing his (BAD) credit sometime in Jan-Feb after I was done w/mine.  DH's dream car is a Heavy Duty top of the line 4 Door Truck (he works in construction).  Honestly I wasn't picturing us even having our "dream" cars until way after we settled in our house.  He's been driving a cute little pick-up truck which works great and better yet, he owns it, we only make payments on my car.  He was planning to upgrade but we both agreed we would wait until his credit was better IF his little truck started breaking down, otherwise we would wait until we got the house.  We been talking about for a while, but we mentioned it again about 2 weeks ago and we were still on the same page.


Do you see where Im going here?


Last week after I got home from school, I thought it was super weird he wasnt home, cuz it was already 10~ish and he and the baby are usually in bed by then.  I called him up and said he was on his way.  Lo and behold the garage door opens and he rolls up in this:



Omyfreakinggosh Right?  I thought I was over it and would just deal w/it, but today I am even more upset, here's the current list of why I'm upset:



  1. He completely ignored the fact that we made an agreement together to cut down on expenses and pay off what we do owe in prep for our house. Now I dont know if we can afford a house plus the expenses. 

  2. He made this decision w/o me. He says he knew I would try and talk him out of it and get upset if he mentioned it.   Hmmm, I wonder why? 

  3. He didnt even tell me until he had closed the deal.

  4. He got a horrible deal. Bad Credit = an obscene APR.

  5. The truck is used and listen to this...it has almost 150K miles on it!!!!!

AND....new one today.....drumroll please.....


   5.  He just called me at work and mentioned we should wait 2 YEARS before buying our house now and then tried to ask me for cash!


ME: "Umm, babe? What happened to your savings?"


DH: Silence.


ME: "OMG, dont tell me it also went towards the truck"


DH: Silence.


ME: (Bury my head in my hands) "Now do you realize how this affects us, not just you?"


I hope this doesnt make him sound like a horrible guy, he is a great dad and husband and a good provider, I just think he made a REALLY bad decision and doesnt realize how much it TRULY affects our future.  Plus everything I said about him making the decision w/o really hurts me, I would never make a huge purchase like that w/o him.  I've already talked to him about it and he says he was just "looking" and didnt deliberately go w/the thought he would actually drive out w/a new car.  The deal just kept getting better and better and he just took it and ran. 


I just dont see myself renting for much longer and I dont think its fair that a home should be put on the back burner for a car, much less a car we didnt need in the 1st place.  So, I want the truck gone, I dont care if he cant take it back to the dealership, I want it gone. I dont care if he has to sell it to a private party and he has to pay his loss, I want it gone!  Either that, or he better hope he gets a HUGE promotion.


Thanks for listening!



-- Edited by BargainQueen at 18:02, 2006-12-19

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Kelly


Hermes

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RE: Upset beyond belief w/DH - Long
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Oh my gosh! I can't believe he did that! I would be FUMING if that happened to me. As I'm sure you are!

Definitely, he has to sell it. He can't keep you two out of a HOUSE for a stupid truck. You need a home, you don't need this truck. I can't even believe that.

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Mandy


Kate Spade

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OMG!  i'd be super pissed too.  i know in some states you can return a car within 3 days.  the delearship may try to say otherwise, but i'd look into that. 

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small fry


Chanel

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Holy S*** sorry for that, but yes you have a right to be upset. Two years for a house  no way 


Keep us updated and ((((((((((((((((Hugs to you))))))))))))))))))))))



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AllieGurl


Marc Jacobs

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Wow, just wow. How disrespectful.

So sorry !

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luckylily


Gucci

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Holy crap!  I am so pissed off on your behalf.  I would be angry beyond belief if my DH made a financial decision like that without consulting me.  It sounds like he decided it would be easier just to do it and apologize later.  Grrrr...


I wish I had some good advise for you, but I have no idea what to say.



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bex


Chanel

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omg! BQ i am so upset for you!


please keep us posted as to what your "D"H does!!



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NCshopper


Hermes

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  Oh. My. God.  I would be so livid.  I think my face is red from anger at just reading that!!!   


I just really, really hope that he learned a lesson in there somewhere.  I agree that he needs to sell it.  I'd let him sweat it for a little while though, if it were me.  He made the mistake and he should really understand what the implications are. 



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atlgirl


Gucci

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Damn! I'd have his head! That's crazy and I definitely would see if legally you can take it back to the dealership. WHAT was he thinking?!?!

If you're not able to "return" it, then definitely I'd make sure it goes up for sale ASAP! And yeah - where's the partnership in that decision? I'd be very stung by that and would make sure he is well aware of the ramifications to you emotionally as well as to your shared plans, finances, and credit. I'm so sorry!

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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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holy crap... jaw is on chest... how could he possibly do something like that? I would be speechless with rage.

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Jaw. Floor. Holey-shit. I can't believe he did that! I'd be pissed.... And yeah, the car needs to GO. That is an incredibly disrespectful action on his part. I don't even know what I'd do. But that car needs to be OUT of there for your own peace of mind, at least...



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Bastet


Kate Spade

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OMG, I would absolutely kill my husband if he bought a car without telling me!  How irresponsible of him!!  You're right, the truck must go. He was being completely selfish and financially irresponsible if he spent your savings on a car.  How would he react if you randomly bought a new car?  Your DH needs to realize that when making a large purchase, he needs to consult you, because your credit and money are affected, too.   

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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Oh. My. God! That is the most irresponsible thing ever. I would be so furious. And for him to call you at work to tell you the house needs to wait for two years, *and* then to ask you for cash?! I am so sorry this happened. He definitely needs to sell that car, or return it or just get rid of it somehow!

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jacL


Coach

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Holy. Shit.


You have every right in the world to be angry and I hope he realizes the error of his ways. 



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blubirde


Chanel

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Woah... I'd kick his ass. That's pretty much all there is to it. I can't believe he did that!! And had the nerve to ask for cash? Oh, no he didn't! That car definitely has to go. It needs to be sold, loss or not. I don't know if this is something I could get over in a few days, much less a few weeks. And waiting two years for a house? Craziness. He's got to be out of his mind. What was he thinking?


And of course a bad decision doesn't equal a bad person, but damn that was a bad decision.


Keep us posted on what happens. (((hugs)))



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jrhampt


Kenneth Cole

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Wow.  Just...wow. 

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ILoveChoo


Hermes

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what?!?! oh no way. drive his little butt back to wherever he got it and see if you can return ti or something. That is so disrespectful and selfish!

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erin


Chanel

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my husband bought a car without telling me a few years ago, and let me say i wasn't happy. it was a little bit different, because he needed a new car, but i told him he wasn't allowed to buy one without me...

i really don't know what to say other than i feel your pain. i think he should try to take it back if he can (don't they usually give you a 30 day period or something?) and i agree if that's not possible, he should sell it and suck up any loss.

totally shitty and disrespectful that he didn't ask you before doing this...

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TheLovelyLady71


Hermes

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Oh no, BQ! I bet you are upset and pissed, and then the NERVE of him to ask YOU for cash?! I don't get it. I know Joe did that to me once, and I was beyond mad, b/c every time I brought a new car, he was w/me, and knew about it, so..... I feel your pain as well.

-- Edited by TheLovelyLady71 at 16:49, 2006-12-15

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Sandy


Kate Spade

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How infuriating! My boyfriend bought a car while I was in the hospital, knowing fully well that we were supposed to be saving for something much more important. Of course, he only bought a $3500 Mustang and we were only saving for a vacation. I cannot even begin to imagine how much angrier you must be!! I hope you two come to an understanding soon, if you haven't already.



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