STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

fashionista L · Coach

A bad yucky feeling...

Kelly · Hermes

Did you apologize? Maybe that's all that he's waiting for. Obviously it wasn't all your fault, but admitting that some of it was could maybe help?

I'm sorry, I have it when things like this happen

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

He violated your feelings of what is appropriate in an evening that honestly sounds like a drag? And the problem is that you weren't enough fun? and now you're supposed to make it up to him? Or he'll sleep on the "comfy" couch?

If he really has a problem, he can say something. He did. I dont' know how that conversation went. But if you don't like people smoking pot and catcalling at strippers while they're out with you, that's pretty valid. If you dont' like being underdressed in public, that's pretty valid too. So I don't necessarily think he's blameless here either. That doesn't mean he's a bad guy or anything. I'm just saying the situation doesn't have to be framed the way he's framing it. "You're no fun and if you don't make it up to me I'll withold affection and sleep on the couch."

So yeah, if you feel like you were out of line, definitely apologize for that. But if this is how he handles conflict, then it sounds like you're not the only one who needs to apologize.

I hope you feel better soon and things work out. Hugs!

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Dizzy wrote:

He violated your feelings of what is appropriate in an evening that honestly sounds like a drag? And the problem is that you weren't enough fun? and now you're supposed to make it up to him? Or he'll sleep on the "comfy" couch?

That doesn't mean he's a bad guy or anything. I'm just saying the situation doesn't have to be framed the way he's framing it. "You're no fun and if you don't make it up to me I'll withold affection and sleep on the couch."
If he really has a problem, he can say something. He did. I dont' know how that conversation went. But if you don't like people smoking pot and catcalling at strippers while they're out with you, that's pretty valid. If you dont' like being underdressed in public, that's pretty valid too.

Ditto.

My first thought when reading this was "I would be soooo pissed and irritiable if my DH acted like that"

If you are not okay with the pot smoking/strippers and prostitutes then I fail to see what you did wrong.

He ISNT a single guy and for him to think its cool to drag you out to that kind of stuff then expect you to be fun and be one of the guys - PULEZZZZ.

I wish I had advice to give, but I am actually kind of pissed at him on your behalf :)

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

AllieGurl wrote:

I wish I had advice to give, but I am actually kind of pissed at him on your behalf :)

I feel the same way...that behavior is simply unacceptable. You aren't his beer drinking buddy. You are a lady and you should be treated as such.

fashionista L · Coach

Thanks for the viewpoints...I feel like he was totally turning it around on me when I told him why I was acting less than thrilled that night. I want to bring it up again, I just need to gather my thoughts so I can hold my ground when he tries to flip the blame. If I don't bring it up, I am just going to stay angry.

blubirde · Chanel

I agree that you're not one of the "guys" so why should you be thrilled to spend a "guy" evening with them? When I was reading your post I was thinking how ticked I'd be if the boy expected me to follow him and his friends around all night while they heckled prostitutes, smoked pot, went to strip clubs, etc. No way, no how. I wouldn't be too happy if he did that on his own, much less with me. And if he expected me to be gung ho about the whole thing? Uh-huh, no way.

Now, if I'd known all that was going to go on and I agreed ahead of time to spend the evening with all the guys, that would be a different story. If I knew what I was getting into and I got into it anyway, I'd at least owe it to him to not make the night worse for him. I may not owe it to him to make it better but definitely not worse.

Assuming you situation is like the former, I'd be pissed he was pissed at me. Maybe if y'all talk about it, you can both apologize and it will be better?

Hope it works out!

kittenheels · Coach

That does not sound like a fun evening out. I'm sorry. I agree with Dizzy - you are justified in feeling hurt!

jrhampt · Kenneth Cole

I agree with everyone else -- I'd have been pissed and irritable, too. Aside from everything else, being dressed inappropriately is enough by itself to make me feel out of sorts. Let him sulk if he wants...I think he owes you an apology.