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Post Info TOPIC: I am Meredith-- ~*UPDATED*~
kenzie


Chanel

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I am Meredith-- ~*UPDATED*~
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I know it's been a while since I've given you an update on the crazy love life, but I promise that it was worth the wait.

First things first...my friend from my early years of college, E.

I posted briefly about this before, but deleted it. But much has transpired since then, so here it is. E and I were really close friends when we were in college, but lost touch when I transferred schools. I had no idea how he felt about me, but apparently he had some pretty strong feelings for me. He had been looking for me (without success) since we had lost contact. I ended up finding him via myspace about a year ago. We've been in touch and he came to visit me two months ago for the first time (he lives 4 hours away). Really long story short, he told me how he used to feel, how he felt now and how he had looked for me. I can't believe that I overlooked him before. He's a great guy and we've been seeing each other.

And now for the second part....McStubborn. Yep, he's still around.

After my announcement to him that I didn't want to be friends, I stuck to it, even though it sucked. Alot. Alot, alot. Yesterday, he came up to me at work and told me that he really wanted to talk to me and asked if I wanted to go out with him that night. Morbid curiosity got the best of me and I said yes. (Side note- E knows about McStubborn). I was completely expecting him to tell me the same old crap-- that he's seeing that other girl, but he misses me, but we work together, so can we be friends, blah, blah, blah.

Well, he didn't. He told me everything that I wanted him to tell me for the past year. He told me that in the time that we weren't speaking, he missed me more than he ever thought he would. That he tried to get over me and he just can't. That he was stupid and stubborn and sorry. And that he's scared to get involved with me b/c I make him feel things that he never expected and the things that he loves about me intimidate him at the same time and he doesn't think that work was/is as big of a problem as he was making it out to be before. Oh, and when he was seeing that other girl, it just became more and more obvious to him that it wasn't going to work because she's not me. He wants to spend time with me and see what happens. He now knows about E (but didn't before).

E's reaction to what is going on with McStubborn was equally amazing. I told him how confused I was and that I felt like I needed to see what could happen with McStubborn, but that I wanted to see what could happen with him as well. But I know that's not really fair. E said that it's okay, he knew that this was probably coming and that no matter what happens, that he would wait, whether it worked out to his favor or not b/c just spending time with me makes it all worth it, even it hurts him in the end.

So, now I'm completely conflicted. Honestly, these are two great guys and they both mean so much to me, not just in a romantic sense, but as my friends. I have such a good time with both of them and I don't want to lose either. But I also know that they are both such great guys that when/if I choose one over the other, that the one I don't choose would still remain my friend. Oh, and another thing-- both of these guys are willing to move for me to wherever city I go to grad school and this would be a huge dealbreaker otherwise.

How do I get myself into these things?


-- Edited by kenzie at 21:29, 2006-12-07

-- Edited by kenzie at 09:45, 2006-12-20

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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RE: I am Meredith-- a loooooong update
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Yay!! I think time will tell. Like, if you just decide on a case-by-case basis which one you want to spend time with, when given the opportunity, it will gradually become clear... And meanwhile, ENJOY!!!

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Elle


Hermes

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I agree with Dizzy - continue to see them both, and the choice will make itself.


Sheesh, talk about feast or famine though!  Keep us posted!



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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
jrhampt


Kenneth Cole

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How frustrating is that??  I mean, seriously, could his timing be any worse?  I'd be really pissed off that he waited until you got involved in a new relationship to come to this epiphany. 

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NCshopper


Hermes

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jrhampt wrote:

How frustrating is that??  I mean, seriously, could his timing be any worse?  I'd be really pissed off that he waited until you got involved in a new relationship to come to this epiphany. 

Yeah, I agree.  To be honest, I'm a little skeptical of McStubborn right now.  It seems an awful lot like he's got that "I can't have her, so now I want her" mentality.  I'd also see where it goes with the both of them.  It'll eventually become clear that one is more right than the other.  Enjoy it! 

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member


Hermes

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NCshopper wrote:


jrhampt wrote:

How frustrating is that??  I mean, seriously, could his timing be any worse?  I'd be really pissed off that he waited until you got involved in a new relationship to come to this epiphany. 

Yeah, I agree.  To be honest, I'm a little skeptical of McStubborn right now.  It seems an awful lot like he's got that "I can't have her, so now I want her" mentality.  I'd also see where it goes with the both of them.  It'll eventually become clear that one is more right than the other.  Enjoy it! 


Normally, I would tell you to be skeptical of this too, but this is actually what happened w/SO and I.  He wouldn't committ to me the first year I met him, I moved on, started dating someone else, and it took him that to realize what he lost.  He then came back to me, told me he was in love w/me, and 3 years later, here we are living together.  Sometimes people need a push like that.  So maybe keep your guard up a little (I did at first), but give him a chance - it could turn out to be the best decision you ever make - it did for me.


Good luck!



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AllieGurl


Marc Jacobs

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Wow, sounds like you are a popular girl! I dont really have much advice, other than to say that time usually will tell who is the better choice and I am sure it will work out.

Keep us posted!

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blubirde


Chanel

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NCshopper wrote:


jrhampt wrote:

How frustrating is that??  I mean, seriously, could his timing be any worse?  I'd be really pissed off that he waited until you got involved in a new relationship to come to this epiphany. 

Yeah, I agree.  To be honest, I'm a little skeptical of McStubborn right now.  It seems an awful lot like he's got that "I can't have her, so now I want her" mentality.  I'd also see where it goes with the both of them.  It'll eventually become clear that one is more right than the other.  Enjoy it! 


I agree with this too. Guys definitely know when girls have moved on and found other guys. It never fails and it's not coincidence or anything like that. They can just tell they're about to lose you forever.


Btw, I hate Meredith and you're definitely not a Meredith. But, that said, one thing to be leery of is that one of these guys has a history of hurting you and one doesn't. It's not like there's only one chance in the entire world or anything, but McStubborn had his chance and he not only didn't take it, he hurt you in the process. Over really dumb things. He's definitely got strikes against him. That said, one thing going for him is that he realized how great you are and how much he really likes you. Those are some positives. They may be the positives, the ones that matter.


Good luck with exploring both relationships. The more you see each of them, the more you'll know which one is better for you. Oh and since I didn't say it before: hot girl high five!! That's right - two guys falling over you? What could be better?


 



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squishy


Coach

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Dizzy wrote:

Yay!! I think time will tell. Like, if you just decide on a case-by-case basis which one you want to spend time with, when given the opportunity, it will gradually become clear... And meanwhile, ENJOY!!!


i agree with dizzy.


good luck!  but more importantly, have fun :)



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nonsense!
kenzie


Chanel

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jrhampt wrote:

How frustrating is that??  I mean, seriously, could his timing be any worse?  I'd be really pissed off that he waited until you got involved in a new relationship to come to this epiphany. 


Hehe. Figures, right? But, in his defense, I hadn't told him about E before he layed this all on me. Did I not tell you that he would do this, though? I think I did.

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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I don't get the Meredith joke.

Anyhoo, hooray for you! I would also be leery of McStubborn -- the guy does need to prove himself worthy, after all -- but it's still so nice and emotionally satisfying that he finally expressed these feelings. And to have E expressing how much he cares is also so great. If you do want to explore things with both of them, then good luck and make McStubborn really prove himself before (or if) he gets to win you over!

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cat


Marc Jacobs

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Dizzy wrote:

Yay!! I think time will tell. Like, if you just decide on a case-by-case basis which one you want to spend time with, when given the opportunity, it will gradually become clear... And meanwhile, ENJOY!!!


I agree with dizzy.


However I would be very very leery of Mcstubborn. I have an ex bf who does this same thing every time I find someone new. That he really misses me and I am the only one for him .


Enjoy but be careful.



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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.- Ralph Waldo Emerson
kenzie


Chanel

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RE: I am Meredith-- ~*UPDATE*~
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I've been busy since my last post, spending time with both of these guys and I'm still not sure what I want.

There isn't much of an update on the E front, other than more of the same. He is nothing, if not consistent in his behavior with me. I know that he cares about me and he goes out of his way to show that.

On the D (McStubborn) front, there's a major update---
Without going into too much detail (it would take too long), suffice it to say that the past year with D and I was wrought with assumptions and gross miscommunication on both of our parts, which lead to the recent fiasco. However, we have since been completely open and honest with each other and it shed new light on the way we both view the events of this past year and how we view each other. Long story short, he has cared about me the entire time and doesn't want to lose me again. I, obviously, care about him as well.

We have spent a ton of time together in the past week (just about every night) and he's been great about chauffeuring me around since I've lost my car keys and have been dealing with that mess (that's a whole other post). We agreed that now that the lines of communication are clear, that we just need to keep them that way. And since then, I've seen a whole new side of D, that I had hoped was there, but had yet to see. And I love it! I love that he doesn't care that we work together. I love that he doesn't care that everyone found out about us. I love that he wants to spend so much time with me and is taking care of me right now when I need help (car, keys, blah).

It's just been a really fantastic two weeks for me with him. And we both have vacation next week and plan to spend the bulk of it together.

But...E is still in the picture b/c I do still care about him, too. I can't walk away from him (or D) yet. I know that the choice will become clear with time, so that's what I'm doing- just taking one day at a time. Unfortunately, D has home field advantage b/c E lives 4 hours away. However, I will not make my decision based upon the convenience of distance b/c I know that is only a short term issue.

Soooo, there's the update on my crazy life. I hope that made sense.

Oh, and for those that are confused with the Meredith thing, it's a reference to Grey's Anatomy.

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squishy


Coach

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RE: I am Meredith-- ~*UPDATED*~
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merry christmas to mcstubborn and meredith :)

ETA: oops, forgot to mention E, too.

-- Edited by squishy at 13:52, 2006-12-20

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