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Metric


Gucci

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my mother bugs me
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I need to vent about my mother for a minute. Anybody who read my other post ("I'm super bummed") has gotten an idea about how my mother is being lately. For whatever reason, she has been really unpleasant lately. It seems like everything I say is wrong or whatever I say she will turn it around so that it is really negative.


Last night I took the doggies for a walk and when I got back she told me my step-MIL had called about Xmas. We split our Xmases one year with my family, one year with my in-laws and this year is my in-laws turn. S-MIL has planned on having dinner at a really nice hotel this year instead of having to cook and called to invite my mother. She tells me this I am like "great! I certainly don't mind us being all together." Meaning that I was happy that I don't have to be separated from my family on Xmas and still get to do the in-laws thing. However, somehow my mother misconstrued it and said to me really sarcastically that "she doesn't care if I mind or not, its not my decision whether she is invited". I was pretty stunned and tried to explain what I meant but my mother had already taken it wrong and I just ended up talking in circles and trying to back track. I though I had said it cheerfully enough, how did that go so horribly awry?


Not only that time but there have been a lot others like that. A few weekends ago we tried to go to Ikea but it was so busy we just ended up circling the parking lot and then gave up. As we were driving I said "ugh, I am not looking forward to Christmas shopping this year" because everywhere is so crazy busy its hard to get anything done. My mother freaked out and started giving me shit about not wanting to give anyone else presents and how selfish and ungrateful I am. I never said I didn't want to give gifts, I just didn't want to deal with the throngs of other shoppers. Sheesh.


I don't know why she's being like this. Its driving me crazy. I am starting to feel like I have to be on eggshells around her or she'll freak out over something completely inane. She never used to be like this but lately it seems like she has gone for a ride on the bitter bus and is refusing to get off.


How do you deal when your mother is being irrational and unpleasant?



-- Edited by Metric at 18:46, 2006-11-23

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Marc Jacobs

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Is there maybe something else going on in your mother's life that you aren't aware of that is causing her to be so snappy lately? Maybe work is really getting to her? (I completely forget what your mom does!) I mean, it seems that lately your mom has been, well, different so maybe something is really really really bothering her and she is just taking it out on you.

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cat


Marc Jacobs

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I'm sorry she is being like that. My mom gets like that sometimes when she is stressed and just yells at people for no reason. She usally snaps out of it though after a few hours and is sorry.


I just try and avoid my Mom when she is like that. I know that is probably harder for you to do since you live with her and she is like this most of the time lately.


((((hugs)))



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Kelly


Hermes

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ugh! Moms can be awful

Maybe it's the tension of you and your boyfriend back in the house with her

maybe she's going through menopause?

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Jahni


Dooney & Bourke

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ttara123 wrote:


maybe she's going through menopause?


 That's exactly what I was going to say....My Mom has been doing almost the exact same thing as you described...almost word for word in fact....and we're all just blaming it on menopause...that's the only explanation we can come up with, we're praying that her doc comes up with some new hormones or something because it gets almost completely unbearable at times... 


Good Luck!!



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Chanel

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Could she be mad about something else and is taking it out on silly things? Maybe she's built up some resentment about something and instead of talking about it, she's taking it out on you in these passive/aggressive, petty ways.

Fingers crossed for menopause!!

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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Jahni wrote:

ttara123 wrote:


maybe she's going through menopause?


 That's exactly what I was going to say....My Mom has been doing almost the exact same thing as you described...almost word for word in fact....and we're all just blaming it on menopause...that's the only explanation we can come up with, we're praying that her doc comes up with some new hormones or something because it gets almost completely unbearable at times... 


Good Luck!!




me too -- i was reading this thread and thinking "menopause!" my mother has had a similar change in personality since going through menopause, and she recently got on some hormones to try to fix it. the good thing is, she realizes she's become a more difficult person and doesn't like it, and she knows it makes her hard to be around, so she's willing to do something. do you know if your mom is seeing a doctor about menopause or just aging stuff in general?



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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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I'm sorry. This sounds really hard. {{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

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