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gingembre1


Kate Spade

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Dating ban girls!!
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I wanted to see if anyone managed to stick to it, how everyone's doing, what's going, on all that fun stuff.


 


My update:  After a brief nose-dive off the wagon, ending in complete and total disaster, I have clambered back on, and have managed to last over a month and half so far!  I'm very proud of myself.  Granted, I made out with an old flame while down in San Diego, but that doesn't count cause it's not dating and never will be.  Anyway, this is the longest I've gone without dating anyone in over a year.


But, I have run into a little problem:  Back in February/March I dated an old high school friend, but I was dating someone else as well, and totally blew the high school guy off (I mean, ignored his calls, didn't talk to him for months).  I recently started hanging out with him again (but around other people), and thought we were on friend terms.  Well, I brought him dancing with me the other night, and when he dropped me off he went in for a kiss.  WHAT!?!?!  Where the heck does that come from?  Why is he doing that when I was such a beotch to him?!?!  I don't understand men.  If anyone has any input, I'd love to hear it.



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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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gingembre1 wrote:


After a brief nose-dive off the wagon, ending in complete and total disaster, I have clambered back on



ooooohhh, was this the older guy who wanted to squire you all around the globe? Whatever happened with him? Do tell--nosy minds want to know!

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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I got back together with the guy who said he couldnt' date me because I'm too old. And just dumped him tonight, actually. I don't even care about the ban, though. I just want to curl up and pretend there's no such thing as boys right now.

Edit: Oh, and the guy who won't go away - it's because he doesn't care and thinks he might get lucky so he may as well throw it out there. And also because his pride won't let him leave it with you dumping him for another guy. I had this situation last year, and as soon as I started to take the dork seriously, he got VERY flaky. After telling me for months, "You need to listen to your heart and be with someone who will really TREASURE you..." Ok, now I REALLY hate boys...

-- Edited by Dizzy at 01:03, 2006-08-25

UPDATE - my friends just told me the problem is: 1) I know the relationships are bad but I continue in them anyway for way too long. 2) I hate men and seek attention from them all at the same time, because my ex cheated, so now I just use guys to prove that I'm cute and desirable, but don't really want anything from them. And 3) That is why I am not girlfriend material. Because I have issues.

I think there's some truth and some cultural misunderstanding going on. 1) I do stay in relationships even when I know they're bad. I also often don't realize they're bad because I will not even NOTICE that, for instance, he never lets me talk or listens seriously to anything I have to say. As long as we're sort of having fun I'll let it stay very surface... 2) I am actually traumatized by all the attention, and although I am very suspiscious of men, I know that I am not seeking attention from boys that I would NEVER consider sleeping with. Where I'm from having a good conversation and making people feel important is just what you do. But up here, god, I don't even know what they're trying to do. They just seem sort of blah. And people think I'm trying to get attention when really I'm just tryign to find out about other people and have some fun... 3) I definitely have issues. But, well, I am also workign to understand myself and to be a good person. So nyah

Anyway, thanks for letting me get all this out while I'm thinking about it. Has anyone else had the "HERE"S what's wrong with you..." conversation? Wanna share?

-- Edited by Dizzy at 22:10, 2006-08-27

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gingembre1


Kate Spade

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Maybe I should change "Dating Ban" to "I hate boys club." 


 


Alright, here's my story.  It's embarrassing, but here goes:  So the older guy ended up having a LIVE-IN girlfriend who called me at 2 am one night while he was in Guam on business.  Then for the next two weeks (while he's in Guam/Thailand) she sent me e-mails almost every day, copies me in on correspondence between her and the guy, sends me old e-mails between him and his other women, etc.  I only knew the guy for two weeks and I got dragged into the psychotic mess by the screwed up girlfriend.  Turns out he also had a CHILD by another woman(he blatantly lied, telling me he didn't have one), as well as another possible child on the way (with ANOTHER woman, not his girlfriend).  The house he was buying in San Diego - Turned out he was buying it WITH the girlfriend.  This guy was the biggest scheister in the world.  BUT, I've decided to stay friendly with him, because when I quit my job he can get me a really good one in an industry I like.  At least something good will come out of it!    Who knew there were such screwballs in the world?



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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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gingembre1 wrote:


   Who knew there were such screwballs in the world?



good god! My question is, what is the matter with the girlfriend, to abandon all self-respect and sanity to keep living in a situation like that? Yikes...

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Mandy


Kate Spade

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sephorablue wrote:

good god! My question is, what is the matter with the girlfriend, to abandon all self-respect and sanity to keep living in a situation like that? Yikes...


i had the same reaction.  why would she put up with that?  thats crazy.


as for me, when the ban started i had been about a month date free.  i think i made it another two weeks.  i think i mentioned i was seeing someone before but i wasn't ready to admit who it was because i didn't want to hear anyone say its a bad idea.  well, im still seeing the same boy that its a bad idea to date and its been over 2 months..... 


im dating my roommate.  i just bought a house and wanted to get a roommate to help with bills and for security.  none of my friends needed a place to live so i looked in the roommate wanted section of craigslist.  this guy had a link to his myspace page so i checked it out.  he seemed cool so i sent him an email.  we communicated back and forth by email for about 3 days and decided that we really get along.  we met on a wednesday night and i felt like i had known him forever but i didn't find him that attractive so i thought things would be fine.  we would be great friends and roommates but i wouldnt be tempted to date him.  i moved in that friday and he helped me move.  we went out that night to celebrate and got pretty drunk so he stayed at the house.  we hooked up.  the next day we decided it was a slip up and that we could be adults about it and he would still move in.  he moved in, we "slipped up" a few more times in the first week before we realized we really liked each other.  i still really wanted to live with him as a roommate so we said we would sort of date and see what happens.  it got serious pretty quick (as things do when you live together) and we have been together ever since.  i know this still has potential for disater but i reallly really like him.  we had a fight once and i accused him of being with me out of convenience so he offered to move out to prove that he wants to be with me even if he doesn't live with me.  i realized i didn't want him to move out, i love having him there.  i know there are lots of red flags and this is a really weird way to start a relationship, but so far its working. 


*whew*  sorry so long



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kenzie


Chanel

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There was a dating ban???? Ha! I fell off the wagon. Of course.


The whole D thing is still raging on in its on-again-off-again fantabulousness (not a word, I realize this). But, I've also met a new guy, who seems interesting- he's not trying to get me to marry him after one date, he's not a co-worker and he's fun! So, we'll see.


Oh, and my ex is trying to get me back. HAHAHAHAAA!!! Like that's ever going to happen.



-- Edited by kenzie at 14:37, 2006-08-26

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poptart


Coach

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-- Edited by poptart at 23:50, 2006-08-28

-- Edited by poptart at 12:59, 2006-09-13

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Mandy


Kate Spade

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poptart wrote:





  boys who make mooing sounds while eating meat....


 ETA: I almost forgot! Mandy, I actually think your story is really cute!

-- Edited by poptart at 23:50, 2006-08-28





Thats hysterical!!!!!  I take it that this has been problem in the past?? 


Its hard to meet people, especially girls, in a new city.  It might almost be easier to meet people to date and then meet girls through the guys you go out with. 


Thanks, I'm glad you think the story is cute and not a completely bad idea.  Hopefully things will stay good.  Its weird, I never know if I should introduce him as my boyfriend or my roommate. 



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kenzie


Chanel

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Mandy wrote:



poptart wrote:






  boys who make mooing sounds while eating meat....


 ETA: I almost forgot! Mandy, I actually think your story is really cute!

-- Edited by poptart at 23:50, 2006-08-28






Thats hysterical!!!!!  I take it that this has been problem in the past?? 


Its hard to meet people, especially girls, in a new city.  It might almost be easier to meet people to date and then meet girls through the guys you go out with. 


Thanks, I'm glad you think the story is cute and not a completely bad idea.  Hopefully things will stay good.  Its weird, I never know if I should introduce him as my boyfriend or my roommate. 




poptart, LMAO at the mooing sounds thing...


Mandy, my ex and I started out as roommates (well, friends, then roommates, but whatever). It had its good points and bad points. Obviously the bad prevailed since he is now my ex. But, he would have been my ex whether we lived together or not because he's Stuuuuuupid. Of course, I hope that your situation goes much better than mine did.





-- Edited by kenzie at 12:31, 2006-08-30

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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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Cute story, Mandy! I hope everything works out for you.

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