CLAIRE DANES: Billy, do you think I look sort of like Gywneth Paltrow with my blonde hair?
BILLY CRUDUP: You wish.
CD: Shut up. Have you seen your mustache? You look like Pancho Villa.
BC: You don't even know who that is.
CD: Hello, he makes Columbian coffee. I've been to Starbucks.
BC: That's Juan Valdez. You're wrong either way, my mustache rocks. It's better than your pants.
CD: These pants are fierce.
BC: Okay, Stumpy McSaddlebags.
CD: Do you want to talk about your shoes?
BC: Do you want to talk about YOURS?
CD: Drop dead. I'm a serious actress.
BC: Yeah, okay. Nice try.
CD: I was the toast of my generation, asshole. Who the hell are you?
BC: Um, you were the toast of your generation like twenty years ago for like five minutes. Are you going to be throwing My So-Called Life in my face for the rest of our lives? All you did was sign up for a show with a good script.
CD: I am UNIFORMLY EXCELLENT in everything I do, asshole. Did you see Little Women? I rocked that.
BC: You're not uniformly excellent in dressing yourself. That shirt makes you look like a shift manager at Islands.
CD: Do you EVER SHUT UP?
BC: DO YOU?
CD: Aren't you glad we risked everything to be together?