STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

luckyclover · Dooney & Bourke

I'm a terrible cook

small fry · Chanel

Okay first of all let me say no you are not retard. Cooking takes practice and somethime it still does not come out well. When I cook and serve meat if I have a carb side I try and have non carb veg as well.example..chicken, pasta,broccoli. Please dont get stressed b/c this is not good for you and the baby. I hope this does not sound mean but if dh does not like how you cook or what you cook why cant he cook?? I know some men cook b/c the wifes are horrible at it. He should willing to help out and not make it stressful.

came back to add I think a cooking class is a good start and getting some recipes from a healthy cook book or web site is great too. I will see what I can find

-- Edited by kaykay at 11:52, 2006-07-13

asf · Kate Spade

it's okay, i can't cook either! honestly, reading that just made me really mad at your dh! if it were me, i'd be telling him to cook for himself if my meals are so bad. but anyway... do they have any of those classes - not just cooking class, but where you can make a weeks' worth of meals and take them home - in your area? i bet some of the other girls here have info. on them, and i think there have been some posts about them if you want to do a search.

honestly, i don't think it's common sense to know what goes together. i mean, for dinner i generally think meat, starch, veggie(s), but like you i don't really eat meat. maybe just browsing online at some recipe sites or even cooking show sites will help?

sorry i'm not very helpful but i felt so bad for you after reading your post that i wanted to say something!

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I'm not all that great at cooking either, especially not really healthy stuff. And I never know when meat is done either, unless I'm browning ground beef. I always have to have hubby come check it. And I also don't clean meat, it grosses me out, so hubby has to do all that too. So, you are not alone! I agree that really the best way is to just practice and screw stuff up in the process and learn along the way. Just ask DH to be a little patient with you, that you are trying.

Also, you don't have to finish your food just because you're eating for two, you can stop when you feel full

Hermes

Well, prepackaged foods can be pretty unhealthy with additives like corn syrup, trans-fats, etc. Personally, I wouldn't touch Chef Boyardee with a ten foot pole (but that's me - it just has this funky taste). Tortellini isn't in itsself unhealthy, although I have been trying to buy whole grain pasta instead of enriched flour pasta, because enriched flour has oxidizing properties.

I do make tortellini on occasion using Rosetti frozen tortellini and bottled pasta sauce. I did buy whole wheat angel hair spaghetti yesterday - and will probably make it with bottled pasta sauce (which is probably bad too - there's probably corn syrup in it.)

I am by no means a stellar cook, but I've done enough reading to at least try to avoid a lot of prepackaged stuff and to read labels.

Lately, I've been eating a lot of plain yogurt, such as a banana/blueberry/yogurt smoothie with a handful of almonds for breakfast, a whole wheat pita or wrap (or toasted whole wheat bread) with tomato and plain yogurt (it's very similar to sour cream in taste), or a potato with yogurt and salsa on it. I also grab a sting cheese or two during the day to snack on - sometimes a couple slices of swiss. Cheese can be a good way to get protein without eating meat.

We often grill salmon or chicken (my husband does the grilling - maybe your husband would like to grill the meat to his liking?), and I'll either steam broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower, or saute some summer squash or zucchini in a little butter (always butter, never margarine - margarine is sooo bad for you).

I often use old bay seasoning on the salmon, and soy vey on chicken.

I also make caprese salad often using tomatoes, buffalo mozzarella, pesto, and pine nuts.

If you have ingredients, you can always look up simple recipes on allrecipes.com (there's others out there that are good too) I do it all the time.

Sibeski · Dooney & Bourke

Don't feel bad! If you feel good about how you are eating, and if your doctor isn't concerned regarding your weight - let it be!

My husband came from a home with a SAHM who had dinner & course meals on the table every night!!! He expected that when we got married, of course at first we cooked together so it wasn't so bad (except the pounds!). Well, the cooking together tapered off (of course), when he questioned what I made I would say..."Eat it or go hungry." Being that was the way I was raised He didn't take me seriously. So I started to make just enough dinner for me, and it was things I liked to eat. He wanted to know where his dinner was...well...I told him since he didn't like what I made he can make dinner for himself and me for myself. Well, now he eats whatever I make and I eat whatever he makes. YAY!

And for the meat, invest in a meat thermometer. It's really inexpensive and calms the nerves of germaphobes like me :)

Metric · Gucci

I would invest in a few cookbooks for beginners such as . Make sure you read all the recipes through before you start and take things slow, don't try to rush or take short cuts. A cooking class certainly couldn't hurt- just find one suited to you and your skill level. A meat thermometre is a good idea too.

The problem with prepackaged foods such as Chef boyardee is that they are full of sodium and preservatives- both are not good, especially if you are pregnant. Sodium will make you retain water and get really bloated. Preservatives are just bad for you- essentially they are chemicals and no one needs to ingest more chemicals than necessary.

However, it does kind of burn my butt that your Dh is picking at you about this. Does he help you with cooking? Is he any better of a cook? It shouldn't be your sole responsiblity, he should get in there and help out, too. You are not a retard, cooking does not come naturally to everyone and it is a difficult task.

Renee · Kenneth Cole

First of all let me preface this by saying that your husband sounds really whiney. If he doesn't like the way you cook, he should help you out - especially now that you are pregnant! Some ideas for your husband include research (let him check online for food preparation and nutrition websites etc), and learning to prepare 2-3 dishes that are healthy and that he can cook when you are not so inclined. Believe me, there will be times in your pregnancy when you will be unable to cook, and you shouldn't feel guilty about that. My husband is a moderate health nut, and he can prepare omelets, 1 meat dish, 1 carb side dish and 1 dessert. It is not rocket science.

Now, for healthy cooking ideas. One of the ways you can cook easy, healthy meals is stir-fries. The possibilities are endless. You will need some vegetables, tofu or chicken, noodles or rice. Chicken breast is healthy, lean, does not smell as awful as beef. Tofu is a good and healthy alternative to meat and does not smell at all - use firm or extra firm variety and squeeze the extra water off. Slice the chicken breast or tofu into cubes and marinate them for about 30 mins (less if you don't have time) in either a healthy ready-made marinade (I use Soy Vey teriyaki) or a homemade soy marinade (soy sauce, a little bit of olive oil, a little bit of mustard, a little bit of honey, sliced green onions). While the meat is marinating, slice your veggies. Good things for this kind of dish are zuccini, sugar snap peas or other green beans, bell peppers, mushrooms, broccoli. The slices should not be too small. Also grate some fresh ginger root or use ginger seasoning (though fresh is best of course). Take a big skillet (or wok if you have it, though I don't and it is fine), add some veggie oil and start cooking the veggies on high heat. Then add the marinated meat or tofu. Cook just until done, but not overdone - this is not as tricky as it sounds, tofu has to heat through, as for meat, slice one piece of chicken open with the knife - if it is white, it is done). That's it - serve over rice, brown rice is healthiest but white is good too, or pasta. I like to mix my pasta into the stir-fry in the last two or three minutes of cooking. Hope this helps!

A great way to get recipes is from packages of healthy foods, or from healthy food sites. So if you go to, for example, eden foods website, you will get to this recipe page:
http://www.edenfoods.com/apps/webrecipes/
And from Organic Express (I order organic veggies from them sometime):
http://www.organicexpress.com/vRecipe.lasso?sessionId=13366987&userID=&sessionCode=I6LTX7&navbar=Recipe

etc, etc.
Another great way to cook vegetarian dishes is with the new Moosewood Cookbook. There are many easy and healthy recipes in there.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you need more ideas - I love cooking! :)

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

If DH is going to be rude enough to complain, then you should hand him a cookbook and he should start cooking. If he doesn't think you're doing anything right, and believes he knows enough to criticize, then it should be his butt in the kitchen.

Sorry, but I grew up with a mom who cooked all of our meals, and it's HARD work. If ocassionally there's something my dad doesn't like (he's a total carnivore but my mom likes to make vegetarian stuff ocassionally), he knows better than to complain. If your husband can't appreciate that, and apparently does not have any helpful suggestions or constructive input, then he needs to take over cooking duties.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

Don't worry, you can conquer cooking! It just takes a little time and practice. But so not cool of your husband to do all this complaining without helping out, especially when you're pregnant! I love to cook, but it took me a while to figure out how to do things and that is totally normal. We all have to start somewhere. I do think it's a good idea to stay away from premade foods like Chef Boyardee. Is your DH helping you out by making meals too? He really should be.

Some cookbooks/magazines I love and find to have been very helpful: The Joy of Cooking, How to Cook Everything, and Cook's Illustrated. How to Cook Everything even has menu suggestions in the back which is helpful when you feel confused or at a loss for what to pair together for meals. The Joy of Cooking has all recipes for all kinds of different cuisines and they have a glossary and explanations for how to do things. And Cook's Illustrated is a magazine that comes out four times a year (I think) and they go into great detail about what they did for a recipe and why. Like if they have a recipe for carrot cake, they tell you how they tried different amounts of carrot, and grating it different ways, and whether or not they liked it with raisins, and how did tasters feel about the kinds of cream cheese they tried out for the icing...and then they give you the recipe they feel had the best result.

Also, try watching the Food Network to see cooks in action. I've seen cooks make mistakes on different shows, and they'll realize and just roll with it. You'll get an idea for techniques and menu combinations.

The key is to not be intimidated -- if you make a mistake, no biggie.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about recipes or anything.

eta: Some websites for recipes:

www.foodnetwork.com

www.epicurious.com

www.mayoclinic.com

I know the Mayo Clinic one looks random, but I just learned that they have a section on healthy recipes the other night in a health issues class at my school. I looked at it briefly and saw a good recipe for healthy waffles.

-- Edited by scarlett at 12:52, 2006-07-13

Metric · Gucci

ok, I though of something else...to help you with food pairings, think of your meals like this: if your entree has a sauce or gravy, serve a plain side dish with it- mashed potatoes, noodles, rice. If your entree is plain (ie a steak or grilled chicken breast), you can make a more creative side side- baked potato with toppings, roasted potatoes, scalloped potatoes, rice pilaf.

Vegetables are easy-carrots, broccoli, green beans, peas pretty much go with anything and everything. But you don't really want to serve a really saucy vegetable (ie broccoli and cheese sauce) with a saucy entree (ie lasagna) there would just be too much going on. Insted stick to simple things- steamed broccoli, blanched peas. When in doubt, a simple green salad works with everything- just mix fresh lettuce (any kind) with sliced cucumbers, tomatoes, radishes and your favorite dressing.

I will try to add more tips as I think of them. For now HTH!

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I'm so with Gingerembe and Sibeski. Why is he complaining about this? Seriously, he should be so lucky as to have someone cook ANYTHING for him.

It really sounds like he should not be talking to you like this about cooking or anything else. You have the right to pick your meals, and it sounds like you do it very well. And, seriously, people are allowed to pick some things they just aren't good at. My mother is a terrible cook for example. So what? There's no rule that says you have to be good at it just because you're a girl...Also, I try not to eat processed foods, but I don't think a little chef B is going to kill you.

If DH wants meat cooked, he can do it himself. The way things sound now, he is just running a game on you (which doesn't mean he's a bad person, people do this...) Why does he get to pick what you eat? How does he know better what's nutritious? Why does he get his meat cooked perfectly by someone who DOESN"T EAT MEAT? Why does he get to BAN you from certain foods? Who appointed HIM in charge of what YOU eat?

If it were me (and it has been, big time) I would just agree with his right to have an opinion and then do what I want. With my ex, I patiently explained several times that I knew what I was doing, because I'm a grown up. And that I appreciated his opinion. But that I had decided to do something else. With normal people, making a decision for yourself that is contrary to what they would do is something that they can accept. Give him the chance to accept it, instead of always acting like once he's laid down the rules you have to argue him out of it in order to do what you want. I mean, does it really matter that everythign you do is what he would do? You don't really care when he makes his own decisions, right?

I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way. I don't mean anything against your husband at all. I'm sure he's sweet. I just think he's overstepping here, and will probably step back once he's no longer allowed to stress you out like this. Because this sounds REALLY annoying.

PS - If he doesn't know what he wants, then he can wait until he figures it out and cook it his own self! Because it is completely out of line for him to not decide and still expect you to produce what he wants when he wants it, or wait until he decides! You're pregnant! It's your turn to get a break!

-- Edited by Dizzy at 15:31, 2006-07-13

killa · Dooney & Bourke

Everyone has nice suggestions. I was just thinking, what if you and DH took a cooking class together.

He can appreciate all the work that goes into putting a meal together ... AND ... he is going to have to take over once the baby arrives because if he thinks you're going to cook dinner AND take care of a newborn, he is living in a dream world!

Bastet · Kate Spade

I love to cook! When I first started learning, I had to toss a lot of my "experiments" and send out for pizza instead. Cooking can be tough, but once you learn the basics it gets easier. One book I really like is called "A Flash in the Pan", the recipes can all be made in one pan. They also suggest things to serve with each main dish. Most of the suggestions are pretty easy to make, like steamed veggies. Here's a link:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0811835782/sr=8-1/qid=1152815607/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-5436515-7539134?ie=UTF8

I know a lot of people find her annoying, but Rachael Ray's 30 minute meal cookbooks are pretty good for pairing up entrees with side dishes. Not all of her recipes are super-healthy, but I think she just published a book of healthy 30 minute meals.

I agree with Metric's suggestions, I try to serve a small salad every night with dinner and steamed veggies go with pretty much everything. Another "easy" side dish I like is cous cous, because it's easy to add extra stuff to it, like chopped yellow squash or zuccini.

Also, I think that your husband should start helping you in the kitchen! If he pleads that he can't cook, either, assign him "easy" jobs like chopping up veggies for salad or other prep work. If he complains that you make too many veggies and not enough meat, explain to him that if he wants more meat, he'll have to either be patient while you learn how to cook it or learn to do it himself. He needs to learn now that when there's a newborn in the house, cooking dinner for him isn't exactly going to be your number one priority.

I have lots of quick recipes and side dishes that I make fairly often, if you want any suggestions, feel free to PM me if you want any.

-- Edited by Bastet at 14:46, 2006-07-13

laken1 · Hermes

I agree with everything everyone else said. Also wanted to add - my DH has a very few things he knows how to "cook" but he can grill anytime I don't feel like cooking. I know there has been a lot of discussion about the fact that you shouldn't / don't have to cook for him. I really do like cooking for my husband but really I think it's because he is appreciative of it. I get in a rut of cooking the same stuff over & over so in the spirit of trying new recipes, we also have a rule that if something is awful we order pizza - no discussion or picking or fussing or anything. We've only had to do it twice.

Maybe discuss with him a few things that he enjoys at restaurants or that other people make & maybe start with some of those things? If you tell us I imagine amongst all of us that we probably know how to make it! Tell him that you need ideas - you have to know what he wants & it's not fair for him to expect you to make something he likes if you don't even know what it is. We had to have this discussion. I usually give my DH an option of a few things...Like i have the ingredients to make these 3 things, which do you want? It makes it easier on both of us. Then I started making a list of things I know how to make & i plan from those meals for a week (not the day, but just get the groceries to make them for the week) & then we talk about what we are going to have that night - like tonight his options are burgers on the george foreman grill OR mexican cornbread. no other discussion unless he comes up with something that he wants to cook.

And on the unhealthy subject - nothing is worse for you than fast food! So if that is his alternative I'd remind him it's not at all healthy either.

I don't know your situation (do you both work? do you stay home?) I guess my point is that if you both work you should absolutely split the duties, including cooking....I would understand more if you stayed at home - that was part of our deal though - that I'd take over primarily cooking responsibility since I was home everyday (and now work from home) because from a time standpoint it makes more sense. But even then there are days that I don't know what to cook or I don't feel like it.

I agree with the veggies discussion above - the easiest thing ever is to dump a can of corn or green beans in a pot & just heat it up until hot. That always works as a side veggie! I am also a big fan of the stir fry option

That is probably all jumbled but I wrote as I thought of things. Sorry if I confused you. And you can always ask questions here & post in the food & dining area - we are always sharing recipes & giving each other tips. Several things that are on my regular rotation are from ladies on this board. We are always happy to help.

PS - you hubby may be a nice guy but his is a jerk to make these comments - especially since you are newly pregnant & probably don't know WHAT you want to eat or are having different cravings or that meat is probably grossing you out more now. I would think. So I'm sorry

Editted for clarity

-- Edited by laken1 at 14:52, 2006-07-13

blubirde · Chanel

I agree with everyone else that if he's going to complain, DH should cook himself. Especially if he's so concerned about healthy eating. We would have had it out if he'd said those things to me.

Now, on to healthy, easy cooking ideas. Something you can easily make once a week is some form of pasta. Use any kind you like, as long as it's whole wheat, and buy a bag of frozen veggies. I buy canned pasta sauce (usually organic and canned, generally, is healthier than bottled, although I'm not sure why).

Cook the pasta in one pot and in another pot put the frozen veggies (a mix of broccoli, cauliflower, onions, etc. usually works well) with however much water the package says. Once they're both ready, drain them. Add the pasta sauce to the veggies and voila! A nice, healthy meal.

If DH wants meat, you can buy some turkey meatballs and heat them in the microwave and he can add them to his pasta sauce. Or you can buy the frozen, cooked chicken (no additives) and heat that in the microwave also. You can add the frozen chicken cubes/stribs to anything. It doesn't involve any cooking whatsoever (unless you count microwaving as cooking) and you can keep it in the freezer until you need it.

Fajitas are also really easy because you can use frozen veggies and the same frozen chicken meat (on the side for you). Use whole wheat/whole grain tortillas and there's another great meal, especially if you add some black beans on the side.

I personally would never cook meat. I might throw a few pieces of fish on the George Foreman (or in foil in the oven - self cooking) but that's it. I refuse to cook meat because it makes me ill. And frozen veggies are great because they don't involve chopping and they keep for a long time. A few good things to keep on hand are frozen veggies, whole wheat pasta, pasta sauce, ww tortillas, spices and condiments of some sort.

Don't worry - you can do it. And your DH is silly if he thinks fast food is healthier than Chey Boyardee.

luckyclover · Dooney & Bourke

Thanks everyone for all the helpful suggestions. I will have to get a meat thermometer now- I really hadn't ever heard of it. DH really is a good guy- this really is our only issue. This post probably sounded worse because I am really hard on myself and try to do everything "just right" so it really bothers me. I didn't want this to be a discussion of him being right or wrong. Regardless of what he or anyone else thinks- I want to be able to cook. Because I should be able to. Not necessarily expertly but decent. I talked to him a little while ago and he apologized for being hard on me and said he is just panicy about the baby (this is our first) and wants to make sure that the baby and myself are in very good health and that I will feel better if I am eating right. I can't object to that.

shopgirl82 · Chanel

a crock pot will become your new best friend.

i bought one for my bf when i was dating him because i wanted to cook for him, but that was the only way that i knew how to cook meat. you put it in, add water, spices and veggies and potatoes if you want, and you have a full meal, plus leftovers (make sure to get bread to make sandwiches out of the left overs).

my bf does not cook at all. NEVER. but one time he called me when i was away and told me he cooked a roast in it. i was soooo impressed! also, if you work, you can just leave and your meal will be done when you get home.

also, get a crock pot cookbook with pictures. you'd be amazed at the things you can make in it. you can do lasgna (you add dry noodles...how eay is that?), and other things that you wouldn't think "crock pot".

btw, i agree with the others, if he's not happy he should walk the walk instead of talk the talk aka cook his own meals!!!

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

a crock pot is a great idea, and another suggestion is a pressure cooker. my mom is in love with hers and keeps telling me i need to get one. they're easy, and really nice when you have a new baby. my brother and his wife have a 6 month old and use the crock pot and a pressure cooker all the time.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Ok, if you really want to learn to cook, don't be so hard on yourself. I've been in food for a long time, and seriously, some people just can't cook the way some people can't sing. It's not, like you said, "common sense." But it's also not really hard to do. The trick is to know what the finished product is SUPPOSED to look and taste like, because there are so many variables that a recipe only gets you so far. You will always have to adjust. And a recipe could be 12 pages long without telling you every possible thing that could happen (I know because I wrote them).

It might be easier on you to just find a food you really like, that someone else cooks, and practice making that several times until it works - preferrably with someone who has made it right there to tell you how. Also, I know your DH hates prepackaged foods, but it's easier to learn with recipes that rely partly on packaged foods, like Campbells soup or frozen chicken strips, for example.

Also, learning to cook is hard for some people because it takes SO MUCH REPITITION. I mean, sheesh, I burned the sugar eight times in a ROW before I figured out how to make caramel sauce. You have to enjoy it enough to keep doing it even when it doesn't work. And if you don't like it much, you won't get enough practice.

So another suggestion would be to set aside one day to make a project dish - something ambitious - and reward yourself for trying no matter how it turns out. Just to make it more fun.

But overall, please be much, much, much more gentle with yourself. Cooking is a feeling thing more than a thinking thing. (I so hate it when people pretend a recipe is some scientific formula - the recipe is improtant because the ingrediets all depend on their ratio with eachother, but that's IT - the recipe does NOT guarantee a good dish). So you have to feel it to do it, and that takes time and mistakes. You can't force it. It can be a LOT of fun though. I really hope you learn to enjoy it. But if you don't, I still say that not everyone has to like everything - I hate bicycling and swimming for example.