Ok, I promise: no more posts about law school. Y'all have been so sweet to let me vent here. It really helps to write things down and get other people's take on everything. I really appreciate it.
Anyway, I made a new friend in the summer start class. She's cute as hell, funny and friendly - very sweet and likable. Obviously the pretty, popular, girly-girl back home. Well, so far, she has already been treated to a bunch of games by a crazy law school boy who is not nearly cute enough for her, faced HUGE rumors of being a slut and other completely untrue things, AND the professor will never call on her, no matter how long her hand is up, despite the fact that she sits DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM. And, um, class only started a little over a week ago.
She's ALREADY going nuts doubting herself and trying to figure out how to get people to react to her the way they did OUTSIDE law school. And I know exactly how she feels.
So this is what happens to girls here. And clearly there's nothing wrong with her, so there's nothing wrong with me because all of this stuff happened to me too. So it's normal that I went nuts too. Or, well, maybe what's wrong with her is what's wrong with me too, so I can't see it. But I don't care, I like her. I liked the me that started law school too. And I'll be back to normal soon, it already feels like a fog is kind of lifting. I'm sorry this happened to this other girl. I'm glad though, that it really brought it home to me that even though I may be nuts, all the craziness that happened to me could have happened to anyone.
Anyway, I'll stop now. Thanks again for letting me vent.
I felt all along it wasn't YOU. it's them. i felt the same way in nursing school. because i wasn't best friends with all my nursing classmates (teachers can sense that) and because i looked nice in class, worked at a retail job (Gosh forbid i didn't bust my bottom working 3-11 or weekends as a nurse's assistant), my teachers hated me. my class mates didn't understand how i could go out during the week (i didn't do the gym, group SATC viewing party, and study groups routine that they all did) and that i missed the occassional class.
i did college my way, and because it didn't fit their way, i was weird, difficult, whatever you want to call it.
i'm glad that you are starting to feel yourself again and hopefully you can help eachother through it and help each other stop doubting yourselves.
remember, it's them not you.
__________________
"i tell you one lesson I learned
If you want to be something in life, You ain't gonna get it unless, You give a little bit of sacrifice, Oohh, sometimes before you smile you got to cry.." -The Roots
I think that we all knew it wasn't you, but I am glad that you realize it now also!! It is great that you have a new friend also so that maybe it will be a little easier on you. Just count down the days until you get out of there when you are having a bad day and don't let them kill your spirit!!!
Please don't stop posting about law school! I'm planning on going in a few years and I feel like your posts have really made me think about the environment I need to look for in a school. It really helps me figure out what to expect too!
Girl, I KNEW it wasn't you. The more distance you put between yourself and law school, the easier it will be to see. I'm glad you're starting to doubt yourself less.