STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

blubirde · Chanel

Poll: Fighting with SO

Elle · Hermes

I'd say we argue two or three times a week, though more if there are big life changes coming up (ie moving, etc). Right now most of those are stemming from me not liking the way he packs because I'm a control freak.

We have 'disagreements' once every other week or so (worse than argue but better than fight). I think we only have actual fights maybe once or twice a year, and in the 10 years we've been together only 1 really big one is coming to mind right now.

Irene · Dooney & Bourke

We were fighting regularly - I mean almost every day. Now that we have past our first anniversary, it seems that we don't argue much anymore.

HeatherLynn · Gucci

I am actually really releaved to see that someone posted about this and that people seem to be honest about it. My SO and I have a huge fight once every 3mths (pretty regular- can be attributed to a long distance relationship) and then have disagreements once a week or so to where we get annoyed.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

Elle wrote:

I'd say we argue two or three times a week, though more if there are big life changes coming up (ie moving, etc). Right now most of those are stemming from me not liking the way he packs because I'm a control freak.
We have 'disagreements' once every other week or so (worse than argue but better than fight). I think we only have actual fights maybe once or twice a year, and in the 10 years we've been together only 1 really big one is coming to mind right now.

this is probably similar to us to. small stupid things that mostly just lead to me sulking, once a week (more if I or we are stressed). "disagreements" about once a month (PMS time), and "fights" once a year or so (these can actually get pretty bad and usually result in me storming out and going MIA for an hour or so because when I'm mad I need space and he's a "talker"). 99% of all of this is my fault though- I'll admit to being a big brat and he doesn't always want to put up with it.

itsapinkthing · Coach

hmmm, we don't ever really fight. I can only think of 2 fights since we've been together.

We talk about everything. And pretty much as soon as either of us needs the discussion, so we address things before it gets too an arguement pretty much. Not to say we don't disagree on things, but at times that's okay, we never see a need to fight it out. I'm sure we get annoyed with eachother, but with the talk it quickly passes. I would say we need to talk maybe once every 2 weeks or so..

Drew · Gucci

When DH and I first moved in together we fought pretty often, weekly. Mostly though it was just adjusting. I couldn't stand how unclean he could be; he had just left the college/frat boy lifestyle so it's understandable, but I was less than patient with him learning to be tidy. A few times I threatened to leave, occasionally even packing a few bags or just leaving in tears.

By time we moved to our home in 2003 we didn't really fight at all anymore. Basically, we just learned to bend and try to go out of our way for each other. We are both all about compromising now so we have avoided all fights. Any arguments are purely in fun as we both kinda like to debate/argue over things. So, he can get annoying at times but I know he is being annoying just to push my buttons, and it's all really in good fun.

My sister and her husband fight and bicker ALL. THE. TIME. It's very uncomfortable for people around them, but they seem to enjoy the banter and it really doesn't bother them. I guess it's just how some people are. They are great though and love each other very much.

luckylily · Gucci

I think there is a really wide variability in the amount of fighting that is acceptable. For example, my sister is really sensitive and hates confrontation, she considers any minor disagreement a "fight." My husband and I, on the other hand, actually have fun debating about politics, music, movies, etc. It can get pretty heated, but the debates are always respectful and we feel like we learn so much from one another.

I think in the 5 years we've been married, we've had two pretty big fights that had one of us seething for a few hours.

About once a week, we have one of those moments were I'm like "Could you PULEASE put your dishes in the dishwasher?" or something along those lines.

erin · Chanel

well, we bicker about everything. we are very "old married couple." it's a good bicker, though. we don't have serious arguments very often, and the last HUGE fight we had was in march 2004 when he bought a car without telling me. (well he sort of told me, and i knew he was looking but i expressly said "don't buy a car without me being there" and he sneakily left a message on my cell when he knew i was working saying "i am going to buy this car, call me if it's not ok!")

Kitty · Hermes

I'm kinda like erin..we bicker about a lot of things and get into pretty mild little debates/arguements on a daily basis. But real fights...probably 1 a month.

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

The BF and I haven't ever fought. We can both get a bit pissy, but we never fight. If either of us gets snappish, we call each other out, which usually (surprisingly) diffuses the tension. I realize that my experience isn't normal. I think that most couples fight more often, I just don't think that I can handle "real" fights.

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

My ex and I fought all the time and it was miserable and to the point I would shut down so I would have to get into fights and I would go days without talking to him and doing the whole breakup/get back together thing. It never got better and I closed myself up really badly.

New bf and I though rarely fight. I think in 10 months we maybe have had 2 "fights" but it was mainly from misunderstandings so they were cleared up within a half hour and we were fine again. We disagree on things weekly but never get into fights or arguements over it.

I think what you and your bf do is normal and nothing to worry about.

Kitty · Hermes

I also think what's "normal" for one person isn't "normal" for someone else and you kinda just have to trust your gut on this.

For me, it's actually more abnormal not to ever fight then to fight once a week. But, that's just me.

NCshopper · Hermes

DH and I have had two big fights in the 4 years we've been together. We're talkers and will talk things out before they get into blowout fights. The two fights that we had were when surprise things came up that were actually worth fighting about. Most things just aren't worth actually fighting about, and we both realize that and let it go.

We don't even really get into little tiffs that often either. I think the last time we had one was when I put on the big puppy-dog eyes and made him feel guilty for not wanting a cat. (I can be a big ol' brat. )

We do get on each others nerves every now and then or say something that doesn't come out quite right, but we're pretty good about calling each other on it, apologizing, and then moving on.

blink · Coach

hmm. husband and I fight probably once a week. sounds bad, but we always make up within 45 minutes. bad fights are far less frequent.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

we've been together two years and never had a fight. I think this is because we try, like itsapinkthing, to talk about stuff before it gets to the point that we would fight about it. And I totally recognize that for some people fighting is no big deal so they can use that method of hashing things out, but I HATE it. HAAAAATE it. It makes me feel miserable and sad and sick. We had one problem when he did something shitty and I called him out on it, but it wasn't really a fight--it was more like, I got upset, worked out in my own mind why I was upset and how I was going to express it to him, and just as I was getting ready to bring it up he was like, "you seem upset, what's going on?" and we talked it out.

But on the other hand, we don't live together--I'm sure once we move in together we will have more opportunity to get on each other's nerves.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

In the year and a half we've been together, we've had four actual big fights about something serious. I hated each one but they ended up making us stronger as a couple. We disagree probably once a week, but that's never anything major. Like me saying "please wring out that sponge after you wash the dishes" or him asking me if we can watch a movie he's picked out for a change.

Like Sephorablue I absolutely hate fighting -- it's only happened a few times in my life, but if I get extremely upset it can worry me to the point that I throw up. That's when it's something that is just the absolute worst. My BF, on the other hand, does not get as bothered as I do. I need more "recovery time" to get stuff out of my system, whereas when an argument is over, he's back to normal very quickly.

Kel · Coach

We normally just bicker, but nothing like arguing or anything. I can't remember the last time we had a true fight. If something bothers us we walk away for like 5 mintutes and then come back and talk about what bothers us.