B. He really really really wants to marry me, like soon. I've told him I don't want to get married. (I am 19) But it seems like it's fast becoming the only viable option for us to remain in the same country for more then 3 month intervals. He's been married before (totally creepy) and he has a Canadian citizenship, but he almost starved to death here because of his stubborness, and refuses to move back. Lately things have been going pretty well, but when we are in a bad spell I will have loads more to bitch about. .
Married? Is it ok if I get a little big sister on you? Hope so, here goes: Can he articulate the reasons why his first marriage didn't work, and does he accept responsibility? (I mean, it must have been hard to leave a guy whose good, ahem, qualities are worth an hour long discussion, right? So as a first wife myself, maybe she had her reasons...) And why is your desire not to get married less important than the distance? It seems like it would be exactly the most important thing... Actually, usually the conversation goes "I dont' want to get married right now." "Ok." You know what you're doing. And you have to follow your heart, I just wonder if the guy you want at 19 will be the guy you want five years from now. I talked about marrying the guy I was dating at 19 and seriously, I'm pretty glad we broke up...
Ditto, ditto, ditto. She speaks the truth. Be careful, k?
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Forget, forgive, conclude, and be agreed. - Shakespeare
poptart: first let me say I am so sorry for you.That sucks!
Okay, I guess I will jump in on this thread.
Well, So far nothing has happened with the guy I have a crush on who is my best friend. I backed off for a while and he started calling me worried why I hadn't been around and all but so far we remain just friends. It sucks but I don't think anything will ever happen there.
Then there was the 45 year old from England, He kept his word and has not contacted me since he sent me the bouquet of flowers over two months ago. I guess it was really for the best.
I guess since I did the right thing I will now admit that I was the one who posted for advice about the married man. I know I did the right thing there. He has called me and tried to get me back. The conversation was so lame though he was like "you were meant for me baby doll" and "at least have sex with me then decide," when I told him off he got mad and told me "it's your loss bitch!" Yeah he is a real sweetheart.
Okay I am done with dating forever!!!
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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.- Ralph Waldo Emerson
hmm..well, my ex (we were together 3+ years) and i talk every once in a while (broke up in jan), and i saw him two weeks ago and it went soo well. we walked around brooklyn and got guac and caught up. I still get butterflies when i hear his voice and when he hugs me. I am kinda confused here because i know i still love him and we get along well and he still loves me and he's one of the best people i've ever known..but, i always felt our love was doomed because of his lack in confidence in us and because we are just soo young. Also, i kinda think we want different things- not extremely different, but i'd like to move out west at some point, and i don't think he's like that. So, I know I can't get back together with him, even though i'm still in love with him, because I know the problems we had are the kinds that made me feel hopeless and sad..
Also, i have a huge crush on a boy that lives basically across the country. We message each other almost every day and he's visiting a few of his friends and me in June. i've already taken off work,,,so excited!! I met him through my best friend's bf, and i know he's a good guy- his sense of humor meshes really well with mine and we have a lot of the same passions (music, traveling, etc). we spent two nights cuddling, etc. and it was soo good. We just clicked really well.. but also, i dont' really know what to do about it. i'm trying to not overthink it..but i like, LIKE this boy. we'll see how it goes when he arrives
The timing of this post is funny because since the last time I posted about the player boy I hadn't spoke to him and then he called me for two weekends straight trying to get together with me. But I never met up with him. I knew from the getgo he wasn't my type but I think I was just looking for a cool friend, and well.. he was looking for something else!
And with my Ex thats from england, im still so confused what is going on there, and have no clue what type of action to take or how to approach the situation, so Ive been doing the reliable thing, which is Nothing, im totally ignoring the situation. He still texts me every now and again but he is so hot and cold (I wont hear from him and then all of sudden i will and he will be talking about us getting married and how we both know we are meant for eachother etc), its weird, I just wish he would either go for it and get back with me already or just stop bothering me and move on! Its way more complicated than what ive mentioned, but thats the general gist of things.
So no new guys on the scene for me, and truthfully I don't want one at the moment!
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"Deep down you may still be that same great guy I used to know. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you" Rachel Dawes, Batman Begins
Oh cat - good job walking away from the married guy! I know it's hard to do, but you're right, you did the right thing...
Lynnie - I'm sorry your ex leaves you sad. Good for you for being strong enough to recognize it though. really, there's someone ou there (maybe out west :) who will make you happy, instead of sad...
And Nicoley! Woohoo! Turned him down two weekends in a row! All right... that's so the way to do it! I hope your friend in England figures himself out, but I think you're handling it really well as it is.