STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> career & education -> Dilemma
Post Info TOPIC: Dilemma
BargainQueen


Marc Jacobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 2001
Date:
Dilemma
Permalink Closed

I need advice as to how to deal with this co-worker we'll call 'B'. 


As most of you know I was promoted to Manager of a Department in my company about 6 months ago.  When I first started w/this company, B had already been here for about 1 1/2 years.  She was very good friends with the current Manager and was training and deligently working her way up.  She had made it pretty obvious she eventually wanted to apply for a supervisor position if the opportunity arised. 


About 18 months ago, B was deployed by the Army(not outside US).  While B was there she got preggers, got married and had a baby.  In the meantime....I got promoted not to supervisor, but to manager of our Global Account.  I was notified by my HR Dept Friday, that B is returning to her position next Monday.  I hear through the grapevine that she is not taking it very well and that there will be "problems".  I don't blame B for feeling hurt about the situation, I would feel the same way if I missed out on a promotion while I was gone.  But I also, didn't expect her to return after 18 months as she said herself when she left, "want to move on to bigger and better things".  I am not a confrontational person, I like to put things out into the open and work solutions out, but my experience with B in the past is that she likes to say things behind your back and sneaks little snide comments here and there.  Since she's been gone, all the drama has dissapeared and we have established a pretty strong, tight team.  I'm not ready for her to stir it all up. 


How do I deal with her when she returns? And how do I respond to her agressiveness and comments?


 



__________________
http://shoppingandselling.blogspot.com/
HeatherLynn


Gucci

Status: Offline
Posts: 2915
Date:
Permalink Closed

Firstly, I wouldn't trust things you hear through the grapevine.  Then you aren't being any different than she is (as far as her saying things behind your back).  I would welcome her back and just act like business as usual.  If she does make a snide comment to you then I would confront her about it and let her know that you understand it must be hard for her since things have changed since she was last here, but that you hope you can continue working together as a team.   Once she gets here, if you continue hearing things from other people, I would ignore it because it could be individuals trying to cause trouble. If it seems to persist I would call her on it.  Basically, give her a chance and treat everything as it would be on a normal day- you might be surprised how it will turn out.

__________________
"Despite all your best intentions, sometimes, fate wins anyway."
Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 2130
Date:
Permalink Closed

I would get it out in the open, wthout being so straightforward that she could use what you say against you. Sort of "I can see how it would be weird for you, the changes since you've been gone..." then ask her how she sees things going, what she expects to do, what she wants, what you can do for her. Address it, but without giving her ammo (if she's a shady person, she'll know how to use what you say against you, so it doesn't hurt to be careful). Then pay her a few compliments, antyhign you can say legitimately, like your boss ahs always said she does such good work, that sort of thing.

The idea is: Give her a chance to vent, give her a feeling that she has some control over the situation, give her some direction. Ignoring it would probably backfire and you don't want her to feel like you're hte one blocking her. You're just the one who was promoted when she wasn't there - one of those things, nothing you did, and she's reasonable enough to see it like that, right? Even if she's not, you'll get more points if you pretend she is, obviously. Does this make sense?

And yeah, it's possible she does feel weird, but I'm with HeatherLynn on not trusting the grapevine (possibly the one who told you is trying to get you to attack, so she can get the other girl to help take you down, right? I've seen that before.) And yeah, business as usual, give her a chance and treat everything normally sounds about right...

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> career & education -> Dilemma
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard