STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Karina · Chanel

When your title has assistant in it...

Karina · Chanel

maybe i should explain what my beef is - as you all know, i took a new position as an assistant buyer. the job is extremely intense. my boss is an ok guy, but he thinks i'm his secretary. i ask him to involve me in meetings with vendors and product development and design teams, and he doesn't include me. granted, i'm new, but i've been with the company 3 years, and i know what i'm doing and talking about. he refers to me as his "assistant", not assistant buyer. is it just me, or do others find this happens to them when being an "assistant" ?

member · Hermes

Well I'm probably not a lot of help because I actually am an assistant - my title is Executive Assistant, so I guess I'm a glorified secretary. But, does your boss have an actual assistant (like me)? I see that happen a lot where I work if someone doesn't have an actual assistant but could use one - they throw that type of work on someone under them who's not actually an assistant.

Karina · Chanel

Yes, we have a department administrative assistant.

member · Hermes

Karina wrote:

Yes, we have a department administrative assistant.

Well then he should be giving her the assistant type of work and referring to her as his asst. and not you. Can you talk to him about this?

NCshopper · Hermes

Oooh, Karina, that sucks! I'm sorry!

Do you get the impression that the guy is on an ego trip and doing this just to "put you in your place" or something like that? Or is your general hunch that he just doesn't know?

I'd take the power of introduction right out from under him if you can. If you can get to a meeting a minute or two ahead of him and introduce yourself as the Assistant Buyer. But I feel like you probably need to do something more direct so he understands what your responsibilities are and what is someone else's responsibility. Maybe a simple conversation about it would work, or maybe every time he asks you to do a task that isn't your job, you can helpfully remind him of the departmental secretary.

Also, I hate to jump the gun on the sexist card, but that might be at play here too. You never know. I'm not an assistant and nowhere in my title is the word "assistant" but it's very clear sometimes when I'm being talked down to by a "Good Ol' Boy" who thinks that all women in the workplace are "just secretaries." It's surprisingly frequent that this happens.

Karina · Chanel

NCshopper wrote:

Oooh, Karina, that sucks! I'm sorry! Do you get the impression that the guy is on an ego trip and doing this just to "put you in your place" or something like that? Or is your general hunch that he just doesn't know? I'd take the power of introduction right out from under him if you can. If you can get to a meeting a minute or two ahead of him and introduce yourself as the Assistant Buyer. But I feel like you probably need to do something more direct so he understands what your responsibilities are and what is someone else's responsibility. Maybe a simple conversation about it would work, or maybe every time he asks you to do a task that isn't your job, you can helpfully remind him of the departmental secretary. Also, I hate to jump the gun on the sexist card, but that might be at play here too. You never know. I'm not an assistant and nowhere in my title is the word "assistant" but it's very clear sometimes when I'm being talked down to by a "Good Ol' Boy" who thinks that all women in the workplace are "just secretaries." It's surprisingly frequent that this happens.

Oh, he's TOTALLY sexist. Not only did I hear that he is the department pig (and has slept around!), but he doesn't hold women in a very high regard, calls people "sweetheart", etc... Basically, unless you are a buyer or management, he doesn't know you. My review comes up in April, and although I haven't been here very long (2 weeks!), I need to sit down with him and go over what I should be doing. He doesn't include me in any meetings, doesn't ask me about products... all the buyers and assistant buyers throughout the company are a team, but it doesn't seem to be that way here, maybe because its the dotcom side of the business.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

omg yes. and it royally pisses me off!

-- Edited by ILoveChoo at 13:27, 2006-02-23

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

My last boss constantly referred to me as "my assistant" in PUBLIC, despite the fact that in journalism 'assistant' titles mean second-in-charge for each department, and clerks handle administrative duties. Presumably, as a journalist for 30 years, she knew this. It was just a game to get me upset so she could make me look bad.

I found that the best thing is to address the single incidents as they happen until the person cuts it out. I wouldn't talk to him. If he knows he's playing a game, confronting him is just playing into it. He'll be ready for that and he'll tell everyone you're difficult. If he doesn't realize he's being offensive, being confronted will make him defensive. Then he'll tell everyone you're being difficult. Either way, you'll end up defending yourself and there's no point in having to defend yourself when you're just trying to stop something that shouldn't be happening.

As for being a team with you, you can't make him do anything. But you can act like he's doing what you want him to. If you catch him acting out of line, you can sweetly assume he meant to do what he was supposed to, and so of course he won't mind a little reminder. You have to disengage, assume things are going to go the way they're supposed to, and act a little shocked when they don't with this "oh of course I knew you meant to include me..." air.

Plus, if he's sexist, being confronted by a woman will likely get a REALLY bad reaction, in my experience.

-- Edited by Dizzy at 13:36, 2006-02-23

Maat · Kenneth Cole

In my field, if the word "assistant" comes last in your title, you are an assistant, but if the word "assistant" comes before your title, you are just a lower level whatever-your-job-title-is. My boss doesn't confuse me with being her assistant, but sometimes people outside of the company do. Also, I always feel that when people ask what I do for a living, I need to explain that I'm not an assistant. I'm sure people don't care either way, but I just feel that I've worked hard to move up from being an assistant and want the recognition. Sometimes I will just refer to myself to people outside the company as my job title without the word "assistant". A lot of times my boss and other co-workers drop the word "assistant" from my title as well, but I know I can never formally drop it. I've considered asking my boss to change my title, but feel it would be petty because that is the standard naming scheme for people at my company.

You mentioned that he has referred to you as his assistant before. My boss once did something similar. She referred to me as her right-hand-woman at a big meeting, which to me, sounded like something you would say about your assistant. Also, people in that session started asking me to get them papers and stuff for presentations that had nothing to do with mine! It bugged me because I run a small department that actually only consists of me, but the point is that I come up with and work on my own projects and she doesn't delegate work to me in the way she would an assistant. I am really comfortable with her, so I just said, "I really want to use this opportunity (being at the big meeting) to introduce myself and what I do. I want people to realize that I am completely dedicated to working on X and Y and when they need guidance on X and Y, they can contact me directly. Since you are doing the introductions, would you mind saying my job title and projects I work on so they know I'm their go-to person?" I stressed out a lot about what I was going to say because I didn't want to sound whiny, like, "People are going to think I am your assistant. Wahhhhhhh!", but I felt it was important enough to be addressed right away. I tried to word it in such a way that it sounded like I just wanted to be helpful to her and everyone else.

So maybe you can do this: talk to him and ask him if you can take a moment to introduce yourself as the Assistant Buyer (or if he would mind doing it) and explaining what your function is and how you can help them. I'm not sure why he isn't inviting you to meetings, but perhaps you can explain to him why it would be helpful to him and everyone else for you to be there.

boobaby · Kate Spade

I have a boss who asks/tells me to do things that are not my job at all. I don't work directly for this person, he is just over my division as well as many others. I have a feeling this person is incredibly stupid AND on a power trip. Literally, this person will email you an attachment and ask you to make a "hard copy." It will be like one page! By the time he wrote the email, attached the document and hit sent, he could have hit print 20 times! I think he doesn't know how to print. I know he's asked other people to find a document and email it to him, and then sends it right back and tells them to forward it to someone else.

BTW, I do not have assistant in my title.

-- Edited by boobaby at 21:05, 2006-02-23

monica · Kenneth Cole

hi karina.. i work on the other side (wholesale) sometimes buyers will come into the showroom w/ their asst buyers and i've always heard them refer to them as their 'assistants'

also, my old prof at FIT constantly called her asst buyer her assistant.. i think it's just easier for them to refer to them that way -- not sure if that makes you feel any better, though :)

i think it's definitely a good idea to say something - also, even though it's e-commerce, does he go to major showrooms to do his buy? imo, that's the best part :) i would definitely push for going w/ him when he does at least one HUGE by a season. i know market week is tough for all buyers, but my u/standing is generally a large part of their job is to be your mentor as well.

hang in there :)

Hermes

having held an "assistant buyer" position at a huge-ass retailer headquarters, I have first hand experience with this role. In this role, I had my own responsibilities. If the buyer referred to me, it was as "my assistant buyer" not "my assistant." I was engaged in some decision making, and would handle deals when it wasn't convenient for my boss. I would "interview" other assistant buyers and ask them what their working relationship is set up like, and what responsibilities they own. After you have gathered your information, you should approach him about your concerns that there seems to be some misinterpretation of your role between the two of you. Do you have an HR person assigned to your buying area? After you have gathered your info, can you approach that person in regard to your findings? my concern is that he is not going to help you grow to better contribute to the company and may hamper your advancement because he sees you as nothing more than a gopher and would not be able to give you a strong recommendation beyond being a servant.