STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Maat · Kenneth Cole

RE: Your gonna kill me... lol

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

dizzy i LOVE it, every single one of your versions! nicoley you have to do it! trust me, it will KILL him. only one warning: after you send this text, you CANNOT, under any circumstances, EVER make out with him. that's the only caveat i'm worried about w/ this whole thing, so you have to keep your resistance power up, up, up. we're here for us whenever you need, just don't give in!

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

nicoley013 wrote:

Yay, im so glad this cheered you up dizzy! Its actually cheered me up to, i feel this wave of self confidence now. And obviously have to text him, and am going to put exactly what you said.. so excited... This one is for you dizzy and the rest of my ST girls that have ever had to deal wth stupid guys like this.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so unreasonably happy about this - Nicoley you rock and thank you so much and oh lordy this is just the best - I'm totally going to tease you on myspace (once I make the darn site load) about that hot guy you blew off last weekend because he seemed like too much of a meathead. Damn girl, you're so picky....

And Bumblebee - where do you come up with this stuff! You've known all along that it doesn't matter if you call a guy like this on his shit? Seriously, that and the codependent comment yesterday totally blew me away!

This board is the best, I was so bummed this morning and then at the gym just now I was a happy little camper, I kept catching myself in the mirror just grinning b/c I was thinking about this thread - I'm such a dork!

bumblebee · Coach

no, i didn't always know, that's what i meant. i wish that i had known when i was younger and dealing with boys who booty-called and etc. that when i was being "cool" and pretending that i didn't care, that i was actually giving them what they wanted (the ability to blow me off guilt-free). i wish i had had the smarts to say "i don't like you like that" and watch them squirm. what would the harm have been in letting them think that i thought hooking up meant that they liked me? very little, i realize now.

NCshopper · Hermes

bumblebee wrote:

no, i didn't always know, that's what i meant. i wish that i had known when i was younger and dealing with boys who booty-called and etc. that when i was being "cool" and pretending that i didn't care, that i was actually giving them what they wanted (the ability to blow me off guilt-free). i wish i had had the smarts to say "i don't like you like that" and watch them squirm. what would the harm have been in letting them think that i thought hooking up meant that they liked me? very little, i realize now.

Isn't that the truth! If I had only known how to play a player like this, I could have saved myself months of heartache. But of course I had no idea and found myself played big time.

Nicoley--I definitely think you should follow through with the "Oh, I just want to be friends" thing. a) He deserves it, b) It'll make you feel great and c) It'll give you the upper hand.

But regardless of what you decide to do, this guy is a player and he's not going to change. A friend does not call wanting to lay down next to you at 3am. None of my friends have ever done that. The only people that have were players.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

I can't believe this jerk pulled the same old crap again! I love all the ideas of telling him "don't want to hurt your feelings, guy, but I'm only interested in being friends." Calling you at 3 AM and asking you to just come over, lie in his bed and talk to him? That is so code for "in about 1 minute I'm going to jump your bones."

I know you want to make some friends, but here's another way to look at it: any time you spend with this guy is time you could be spending with other people who could be real friends and aren't looking to take advantage of you. Time spent with him is wasted time. You're going to make some great, new friends -- don't give him a second thought!

blubirde · Chanel

nicoley013 wrote:

Yay, im so glad this cheered you up dizzy! Its actually cheered me up to, i feel this wave of self confidence now. And obviously have to text him, and am going to put exactly what you said.. so excited... This one is for you dizzy and the rest of my ST girls that have ever had to deal wth stupid guys like this. BTW, i know this is going to sound totally stupid, but for all you ST'ers that are on myspace, it would be totally awesome if you guys wrote some made up messages on my myspace.... like, who was that super hot guy you were with last night, lol, or something to that effect. He knows my myspace and he has told me he checks it all the time, so i think this will make him feel even more stupid and realize that i really dont like him! www.myspace.com/nicoley013 And ill let you all know what happens with the texting thing.

Ha! Done and done.

How'd the texting bit go?

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

I want an update!

nicoley · Coach

I know, I am really lame... but im still mustering up the courage to text him... Ive been trying to convince myself to do it, and not care what he thinks...

So needless to say.. im working on it :( Sorry for the disappointing news...

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Why do you care what he thinks? I'm asking seriously, because I figured out that guys I don't even like, but that I care what they think enough to override my protective instincts and always give them the benefit of the doubt all have one characteristic in common - and it's associated with the attitude my ex had that hurt the most. It's like, if I admit they're all assholes then I admit how badly he treated me and that hurt too much. And if I can get some attention from guys like him, even if I think they're doinks and I'm making fun of them, then it helps the hurt a little. Actually, especially if I think they're doinks, because then I feel like I'm engaging with this type and winning... (so unhealthy and obviously I'm not over this relationship).

The problem is it starts to feel like when it's cold in the morning, and you're shivering under the covers, but you don't get up to get another blanket because it's too cold. It sucks, just not enough to do something about it.

Seriously, it will feel incredible doing something to show yourself that you're not afraid of him - he can react any way he wants and you don't care because you've already decided what you think about him, right? Finally, you're being really brave already. You've already started to not care what he thinks by posting here to get some confirmation of what you already knew - he's a total, not cute, doink. You're doing great, just keep it up at a pace that feels good to you and you'll be fine!

Ps - I can't make myspace work, but I will definitely post on there too....

nicoley · Coach

Dizzy wrote:

The problem is it starts to feel like when it's cold in the morning, and you're shivering under the covers, but you don't get up to get another blanket because it's too cold. It sucks, just not enough to do something about it.

I love these sentences you wrote, they say so much! Thanks for the words of encouragement, I really do want to say/text something to him and let him know he isn't gods gift to women and that Im not "into" him like that. Looking back, I probably should have told him that in the first place. But now since ive only hung out with him one weekend and then havent talked to him in a month and then only talked to him twice when he was drunk at 3am... I feel weird just texting him out of the blue... I almost feel as if that shows him that i care, that i care enough to take the time to send a text telling him that i just want to be friends... Like i could see if he was calling me drunk all the time etc.. I wouldn't hesitate to tell him look im only looking for a friend, but with only really talking to him like 5 times in my life, it seems like over emphasizing the fact?

Am i wrong? Should i take a more subtle approach?

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Who do you think is going to think worse of you for how you handle this? No one is going to know about this but you, us and him. We already think you're great. He is a doink. What's the problem?

blubirde · Chanel

Dizzy wrote:

Who do you think is going to think worse of you for how you handle this? No one is going to know about this but you, us and him. We already think you're great. He is a doink. What's the problem?

hahaha!! You girls are cracking me up this morning. He's a doink. Ha! I'm going to call everyone at work a doink today. It will be a good day.