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Karina


Chanel

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Posts: 3257
Date:
Following me.....
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im like going to cry right now because im so pissed. my director just called me into his office, and he's like ok i just want you to know that dotcom (which is where im moving) is aware of some performance issues that you've had in the past .. but i don't care about them, and dotcom doesn't care about them.. they are estatic to have you, but they just have to be aware of what happened.


and so i explained to him why i had issues (with the old asshole bosses), and i told him ever since i came back from maternity leave, i have been doing nothing but trying to do my work well and work with my managers as best as i can ... and he told me i was ranked one of the worst analysts, im at the bottom of the barrel .. and i was like, that's fine, because i never learned planning and i do not like P&A as an organization, that's why i applied for the buyer job.


im just pissed because the asshole bosses really fucked me ... now this thing is going to like follow me, so long as i stay in this company. he told me my new job is ok, and dotcom just had to be aware of it, and wants me to be aware of it. he said that manager is going to still do my review and give me a good one, since i have been doing as well as i can. he said that this is the best thing i could have done, that dotcom is such a great place to work and i am going to turn over a new leaf .....


i still am trying to figure out what the point of his meeting was... to tell me its a good thing i'm leaving P&A because i suck?



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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2130
Date:
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Sweetie - I know that a meeting like that is really hard. And I'm so sorry these people have been messing with your head. Believe me, please believe me, though. You Must Stop Taking These People Seriously. They say things just to say things. And it's meaningless. You are preventing yourself from being able to handle the stress and fight back by insisting that there is some rational basis for all this that can be discovered. There isn't. The whole situation is just a fubar. Admit it. Accept it. And get on with your own agenda.

Here are two ways taking him seriously and accepting his premises screwed you a little: 1) You explained yourself. Like it mattered. Or it would help. It doesn't and it won't. In a situation where someone is criticizing you, you need more information from them. You want them to talk themselves into a black hole without argument from you, because that argument will only strengthen their mistaken view of you. Ask questions that assume the things you want to tell him "So the personality disagreements with my last boss have influenced your opinion of me?" And so on. The idea would be to lead the new boss to conclude on his own that a small personality disagreement is no big deal.

2) You allowed him to condescend to you. Now is time for a new leaf? Whatever. You do a good job in difficult circumstances and NO ONE can look down on you and if they do, you simply refuse to accept it. Look at the person coldly and say politely "Thank you for your thoughts." Or something neutral. Accepting a bad attitude loses respect. NOTE: do not do this with fire or verve, just nonchalonce. You don't want to fight over it. You just don't want to take it.

Your office plays by playground rules. There's no one in charge and they gang up on anyone perceived to be weak. Your reputation (and I think your pregnancy) put you in play. The only way to get out of play is to strengthen ties with others and make yourself a bad target. You'll still take some crap (everyone does) but you can get your job done. I think you sound like a very analytical person, and this situation calls for more intuition. It's a really good chance to develop that skill, which can only make you stronger overall.

Please take care of yourself and don't get stressed out by all this crap. It is completely meaningless games that have nothing to do with you, your performance or anything else. Ignore it all and do what you want. Not everything, and certainly not everyone, is going to make sense. In the long run, you go home, though, so who cares?

You know what sweetie? I think you should do something really nice for yourself, too. I can't imagine what a rough meeting that must have been. God this guy is an ass. Screw him. (not literally of course).


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Karina


Chanel

Status: Offline
Posts: 3257
Date:
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thanks dizzy.


now the other asshole boss, just came to my desk, bombarding me with 300 orders that I have to complete by tomorrow (since he knows tomorrow is my last day) .. which is going to be damn near impossible, unless i never leave my desk between now and tomorrow afternoon.



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Elle


Hermes

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Posts: 7139
Date:
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Karina wrote:

thanks dizzy. now the other asshole boss, just came to my desk, bombarding me with 300 orders that I have to complete by tomorrow (since he knows tomorrow is my last day) .. which is going to be damn near impossible, unless i never leave my desk between now and tomorrow afternoon.

Screw 'em.  What are they gonna do, fire you?  Call up your new boss and complain that you didn't finish 3 days worth of work given to you 1 day before you leave?


Work at a steady pace and do what you can do and be done with it.



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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
JoceyBaby23


Gucci

Status: Offline
Posts: 2744
Date:
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Dizzy and Elle both give great advice.. I was hoping they would respond to this.

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-jocey-
NCshopper


Hermes

Status: Offline
Posts: 6065
Date:
Permalink Closed

Geez, that sucks.  I'm thinking that the only reason for the conversation was that they were following some sort of protocol.  Either that or your boss is just an ass. 


Regardless of their reasons for talking to you, don't let them get to you.  Know that you do the best job you possibly can and take satisfaction in that.  Also, look forward to getting this job behind you and moving on to a new job that will be a better match for your skills. 


Also know that we're behind you, we believe in you, and we know you're going to do great! 



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