I've been so busy lately with work, jewelry design and life in general, that I haven't had much time to post (and my job blocked stylethread- how dare they). But here's the latest update.
I officially ended things with T as of last night. It's just glaringly obvious to me that we aren't right for each other. Our goals aren't the same, our views on life aren't the same and his sense of humor (or rather, lack thereof) drives me crazy. He didn't take it too well, meaning, he cried. I felt like crap for that, but it had to be done, sooner rather than later. I told him that I still want to be friends with him, but I don't know how that's going to work out.
As for N, we still talk all the time. Things are a little bit up in the air with his job situation come May. He won't be coming back to the company that I work at to work (which is probably better anyway), but that means that he might not even get a job in this area. So, that makes me sad and he keeps telling me not to worry about it. He's looking for jobs in Cali and he knows that I want to move there, too, within a year or so. Basically, we know that we want to be together, but right now, we don't know how and when that's going to happen. All of this uncertainty is starting to wear on me, but hopefully, he'll know soon where he's going to be working. Of course, he could end up like I did and not be able to find a job in his field, in which case, he'll be forced to move home. Time will tell.
And you know it wouldn't be a true Nyla update if there wasn't a twist or two involved. So, here they are....
There's a 3rd guy in the mix...we'll call him D. I don't think that in the long run we would work out, but he's a become a good friend and we've been hanging out a lot. I know he's interested, but he's not pushy about it at all. He's very chill and relaxed, which is a breath of fresh air for me after the whole T thing.
And for the even bigger (please don't hit me) twist...the ex called. He wants his girlfriend back. Yep. I knew it was coming. I just didn't know when. It happened this weekend. He said he knew he messed up, that he loves me more than anything and wants to marry me. I'm probably crazy, but I agreed to see him sometime soon. The truth is, we were best friends long before we dated and I am having a hard time letting go of that. If anything would save us (if that's even possible, which I seriously doubt), it would be the friendship that we had.
*praying she doesn't get back with stupid* although i would probably do the same thing
Hehe...honestly, I can only see that happening if everything with N goes to hell in a handbasket. He's the one that I really want to be with. The legistics just need to be ironed out. It's never simple, is it?
ugh...seeing a guy cry when you break up with him is the worst. thing. ever. I feel for ya there.
Buuuut...the ex thing...Darlin', I know we don't know each other well and you may not care what I think but... it makes me a bit uneasy. How does one go from being a self-proclaimed commitment-phobe to wanting to get married in a span of a few months? It doesn't sit well with me. Would you want to rekindle things with him? Are you more interested in N or the ex? How does the ex fit into the Cali plan?
From my own experience (take from it what you will), I have found that when you are happy, having fun and doing well (from the sounds of it you are) it makes you sooo much more desirable to the ex than if you were sitting at home, depressed and miserable. Seeing you like that makes them remember how good and fun your relationship was and forget about the drama and issues and whatnot. Rose-colored glasses or whatever.
But anyway, I'm happy that you seem so happy lately. Take care.
Hermione wrote: *praying she doesn't get back with stupid*
although i would probably do the same thing
What she said. Exclamation point. (and shamefaced blush, too). But c'mon nyla honey. Be my hero. Seriously. You are already there - all you have to do is not go back...
PS - I am rushing to finish my paper so I can call back the guy who stood me up this weekend. So I have NO room to talk and know it...
Rest assured, ladies, I'm not really interested in getting back together with the ex. I've heard this all before from him. He thought he was ready to get married before and the he freaked out and got all committment phobic. I know that I don't want to feel the way I felt before when I was with him. I'm not that naive that I'm going to fall for his lines.
However, I do miss my friend. And if we can be friends, that's fine with me.
As for N, yes, yes, yes, he's the one I want to be with. No question about it. But he's sooooo far away and things are so up in the air.
As for the Cali plan, N fits perfectly into that. The ex, eh...not so much.
Glad things w/ N are continuing to go well--things will fall into place one way or another before too long and you'll figure it all out.
As far as Stupid goes, ITA w/ Brazen: when things are going well with you, the ex starts to have the rose colored glasses and starts to realize their mistake. I totally understand wanting to be friends with him again, but I'm not sure he's ready for that. (This is coming from a person who has never met you or Stupid, so I could be off base here.)
Anyway, thanks for the update! Seems like things are going well!
Oh, Nyla, please, please, please go into your meeting with the ex with your eyes open and more than a little wary. He'll say all the right things and do all the right things and it will be so, so easy to fall into that old trap. (Speaking from experience.)
You've already done the hard part, so just stick with your gut on this one. Experiencing N must have helped you see what you DO want in a relationship, right? Just remind yourself that the ex didn't make you feel the way you feeling with N and didn't give you what N gives you.
All that said, with the N thing, it'll work out. Sometimes it's easier to take a big leap (like moving to Cali) if there's someone to do it with you. Even if he's not "the one" (no idea - just saying), moving to a new place is just plain old easier when someone else is by your side. So let's hope for that! Or that he moves back home, whichever.
Sucks about T. But come on. Let's sit back and evaluate for a moment. He cried. I mean, he cried!! It's slightly hilarious, isn't it? Yeah, I know. Hell in a handbasket and all that.
D sounds interesting. It's cool to have someone to spend some time with or go see a movie with, even if nothing is going to come of it (or it might - who knows?).
Stephanie wrote: Just make sure that when you go to see the ex you were your "I'm Not With Stupid Anymore" shirt your SS gave you... I'm glad to hear that things are still good with N. Everything will work out perfectly.
Nothing really new on the N front. We still talk everyday...blah, blah, blah. It's just a waiting game with him.
As for T...oy! Yes, blubirde, it is slightly hilarious that he cried. My two best friends and I laughed for quite awhile about that one. (And on a side note, I absolutely agree with what you said about N and moving). But anyway, T hasn't taken the, uh, breakup (if you even want to call it that) too well. I read his latest blog and holy hell! He's just a tad depressed. It's a little creepy. It really reminds me of the guy I dated in high school who turned into a way creepy stalker when we broke up (left things on my doorstep, showed up at all hours, etc). I'm so weirded out by T, I don't even know if I can be friends with him.
And then there's D. I just love spending time with him. We went out with some other friends on Friday night and just had a chill night at a bar. We played darts and just hung out. No pressure, no crazy 'let's talk about us' conversations, just a good time. He's quickly becoming that guy friend. You know, the one who you just chill with and can just, um...have a good time with (hehe), but doesn't expect anymore from you than that. I love it!
As for Stupid, I still talk to him and we'll probably see each other, but I don't want to get back together with him. I think wearing that shirt is a great idea, Stephanie, but I don't know if he'd get it. Hehe.
So, all seems to be going well on all fronts, with the glaring exception of the depressed T, but that should blow over, right? I hope. Eek!