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Post Info TOPIC: Long distance breakup?


BCBG

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Long distance breakup?
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Need a little advice....


I've been seeing a guy for a little over a year now, but we've been long distance for about 4 months now.  He's a great guy, and didn't do anything wrong....I just don't feel like it's going to work out....distance has taken it's toll


Is breaking up over the phone appropriate if you're halfway accross the country from each other?  Or after dating that long, should I suck it up, buy the plane ticket, and do it in person?


(Bear in mind...I am a poor student....but I feel like I owe it to him)



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Coach

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Phone, definitely.  I think it would be worse in person because you are traveling so far and he would probably be expecting a good visit.  You would have to lie to him while you planned the trip and act like everything's normal. When would you do it?  Would you do it when you first got there and risk a really uncomfortable few days with him?  Or would you act normal and do it at the end of the visit?  It doesn't seem like there is a good option for timing.  It would be nice if he lived nearby and you did it in person, but I think with the distance, doing it over the phone is the most honest, quickest, and painless way.  Good luck whatever you decide!

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Coach

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I totally agree with AndreaJulia.  That would make for a very weird uncomfortable trip.  Sounds like your only option is to do it over the phone.  Good luck and we are all here if you need it!

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Hermes

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Phone.  All the way.  I've done it before because of a long distance relationship and it's not fun, but it's not worse than any other breakup.  Flying out to visit him would just make him expect that the weekend was going to go in a totally different direction, so it would be tougher for him, I would think, as well as very awkward and expensive. 


Good luck to you! 



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Coach

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Def. the phone!! I agree with the others, it would be way too weird to do it in person!

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BCBG

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Thanks so much for the advice!  Yeah....I think phone might be the way to go too.


Ugh...now comes the rough part, actually doing it.  He's a great guy, and I reeeaaally don't want to hurt him.  Such is life though, I guess.


Thanks Again :)



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BCBG

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So I did it....and as much as it felt like the right thing to do, and as much as I just wanted to get it over with, I definately felt worse than I thought I would afterwards.  It's always easy to throw the just friends comment out there (I really WOULD like to be friends with him), but it's sad that most of the time it's not realistic.


Sigh....I hate goodbyes



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Hermes

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So sorry, but good for you. i know when i was single i'd hang on to guys to long - it never gets easier to let them go. You did the right thing! Now go have some wine & watch girl movies & eat chocolate or something!

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Kate Spade

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You know you did the right thing, and I am definitely one who has held on too long so I think it's better to cut the ties upfront than to waste any more time.  :)



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