cry I guess and stop trying to hold it in. I have been putting off going to my first husband grave Iam not sure excatly why. Maybe its because I know I will cry and have all those horrible feelings that I dont want to deal with, althogh I know keeping them deep inside is not good. Another reason may be because i been feeling guilty about not going. I cant believe it has been almost three years since he past waway and I have been thinking about him alot latley. I know my son has been asking to go vist his daddy's site so I need to take him because it is imporant to him. This may sound strange to some of you and you may not believe in the spirts but I do because of things that happened after he past away. Well we have a touch light on my husband computer and it comes on byitself, yes I know it could be because of a movement of the desk or something. But it has been doing it alot and sometime we are not even in the room when it comes on. I first shook the desk and beat on the file cabniet next to it to see if the that would make it come on but it didn't. Okay thanks ladies for listening you are the best - hugs to all of you
kaykay, if I remember correctly, from what you have told us I think it would be completely natural to have not wanted to go. It must be hard for you, especially with your son wanting to go. You are a sweet and loving person and everyone grieves in their own way. (((hugs)))
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Bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika. We all could use more of it. It's no taste I'm against. -Diana Vreeland
KayKay, I was off list when you may have given an explanation on your first marriage. Irregardless if he is contacting you or not, you obviously have a feel to go there are in my experience those feelings should not be ignored. The fact that your son is asking is another story... Just go and you will feel better.
Please PM, I would like to talk about this further.
Kaykay, I don't know the particulars about your first husband either, but I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you want to go. I think maybe you should, and maybe a good cry would help. If you need someone to talk to about it, PM me. You need to get these feelings out sweetie. Let us know how you are.
Thanks ladies you are all sweet, well my feelings of not wanting to go I think come from the abuse part of the realtionship. I posted in joycebabys topic a while back(abuse my story). I just hated remembering all that bad things that happened but of course that will always be with me . Although Iam a stronger person from it all.I will go and vist his grave because Chris has been wanting to go and I will not deny him that right. Of course chris does not remember any of the fighting he was to young(thank god) and I always keep his memory fresh of things of his Dad.I never tell him any thing negtive I just keep them all good. Thanks ladies for listening again you are the best
kay kay, i didnt know you had posted this. yes, you need to go visit with him along with chris. he has been bringing this topic up a bit lately to me also. Let me say, I know he was young when alot of things happened but believe it or not, he remembers more than you think, he has mentioned stuff to me brefore. not detailed, but the yelling and all. HE KNOWS. Even I think about going also. he was my friend also ladies, he was a volunteer in my fire department. I didnt know about the problems kayy kay had til after he was gone, funny how guys dont mention that stuff with thier buddies, huh? Anyway he did give you a beautiful son which i hope i can help raise the right way, and i love him like my own. Talk to me , i have noticed you being different lately, now I know why. I LOVE YOU.
I do believe that people can give you signs and things like that. I have actually experienced that before. I don't think you should feel bad about it taking long for you to go visit his grave as from what I am hearing you have reasons that make it especially hard. I think you are a very strong mom for putting your child first. I am sure it isn't an easy situation to deal with! Please let us know if you ever need to talk.