STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Is it uncomfortable in a weird way?  Like she's invading your privacy/life with your husband in a controlling way?

Or does she do all these things because she wants to and loves you without making you feel like you 'owe her' something?

If it's the latter (which of course I sincerely hope it is), I think taking her aside privately sometime and just telling her how much she means to you and how lucky you feel to have her in your (and your childrens') life would mean alot to her.  If she's just doing it because she wants to, I doubt she's looking for anything in return .

Some extra grandma time with the new one (and your older daughter) would probably make her really happy too!

Honestly, I don't think there's much else to do or say.  My parents are the exact same way.  They come over to our house, help us do yardwork, fix holes in the roof, decorate, fix things, install things, whatever.  And they insist on paying for it.

I really don't think they expect anything from you in return.  A simple thanks or a letter is probably fine.  Or you guys could always have them over for dinner.  Trying to treat them by taking them out to dinner or anything like that is pretty pointless, because it sounds like they'd just insist on paying.  Making cookies, making dinner, or something along those lines would probably work well.

I think parents just generally like to help their kids out, especially if they're in a position to help and the kids need it.  I feel like when my parents come over that I'm having them do all this crappy work around the house, but I think they genuinely like doing it and they're really happy to do so.  So, I wouldn't stress about it too much. 

Dizzy wrote:

---

Enjoy her, she sounds like such a sweetie. If there's any obligation imposed, it's to live up to her when it's your turn to be a mom-in-law... (Maybe tell her that sometime).

---

Oh, that's a really nice sentiment Dizzy.

Itsapinkthing - My advice is to bask in the glow of someone who truly loves you and wants the best for you.  It seems that more often these days we hear about parents making their (grown) children's lives harder, and while that may be 'the norm' it's really quite sad.  Being a parent is supposed to be about unconditional love and support, and it sounds to be like your MIL just 'gets it'.  Just be glad, be very glad.

My in-laws are the same way. My MIL loves to paint, too! They are just insanely sweet people. Last week, she noticed that we hadn't replanted the flower beds since we moved () and so she called one morning and said, "let's go buy flowers" and then spent the rest of the day helping us plant them. She is retired and lives nearby, so she will also come over while we're at work and check on the dogs if we need her to.

I usually try to write her a thank-you note when she does something big (like paint a room). Also, if I am out somewhere and see things she would like, I will pick them up for her and give them to her with a little note. (I did this last week with some candles, for example.) But if your MIL is like mine, she doesn't expect anything at all.

Well, it sounds like you are doing a good job of showing you appreciate your in-laws.  That is probably why they are so happy to help out.  They are probably thrilled to have such a gracious DIL and love that they can make you and your husband so happy.

Is there anything that you can do to help them out?  That would probably be nice, but I bet they would love it if you just took them to their favorite restaurant and spent some time with them.