STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Boots · Gucci

Men- who can understand them?

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

Ugh. Soooo frustrating. I wouldn't quite call that a blow-off yet. I would see if he holds up his end with what he said most recently (about drinks next week), but--at the same time--don't be surprised if he flakes out again. Give him the benefit of the doubt, I guess. Here's to hoping he'll surprise you.

Kelly · Hermes

pollyjean23 wrote:
Ugh. Soooo frustrating. I wouldn't quite call that a blow-off yet. I would see if he holds up his end with what he said most recently (about drinks next week), but--at the same time--don't be surprised if he flakes out again. Give him the benefit of the doubt, I guess. Here's to hoping he'll surprise you.

I agree. I figure, if he does call or email to set up a date, hooray! If not, I wouldn't be too surprised. And definitely don't refrain from making any other plans to keep your schedule free for him or something.

But! It coudl very well be that he's just super busy this week. Shitty weeks happen! I wouldn't consider yourself blown off unless he doesn't mention it again.

Boots · Gucci

That pretty much how I'm approaching it now. I was super frustrated and confused yesterday. I kept thinking "why bother asking me out if you don't seem to want to go out?" Today I'm much more "whatever happens, happens" about the whole situation. I didn't email him back and figure I'll see what happens next week. I've already made other plans for this Saturday. And if he contacts me and I'm free next weekend, I'll probably give it a shot (it is only drinks.)

Of course if he does end up blowing me off entirely, well that just tells me that he's not worth even considering as an actual friend, let alone somebody I'd want to date, right?

Suasoria · Chanel

Although obviously I was not there at the time, I'm taking a step backward and saying it's not a date/not an ask-out. I think "buy ya a drink" is just a sociable, comrade kind of thing. A coworker might say that after a particularly stressful day, or an old neighbor you bump into, or someone you were on the swim team with in college. I don't think it implies romantic interest at all, and people say it to each other all the time without anyone really ever taking anyone up on it. As such I don't think it's a blow-off really.

So I'd leave it be unless he gets in touch again and says "so how about it?"

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

Suasoria wrote:
Although obviously I was not there at the time, I'm taking a step backward and saying it's not a date/not an ask-out. I think "buy ya a drink" is just a sociable, comrade kind of thing. A coworker might say that after a particularly stressful day, or an old neighbor you bump into, or someone you were on the swim team with in college. I don't think it implies romantic interest at all, and people say it to each other all the time without anyone really ever taking anyone up on it. As such I don't think it's a blow-off really.

So I'd leave it be unless he gets in touch again and says "so how about it?"

ITA. I have been promised many "I owe you a drink"s in the past. I think he is non-committal to Friday and Saturday bc those are date nights. He could have easily written back, he is obviously hesitating. Don't hold your breath.

Boots · Gucci

Suasoria wrote:
Although obviously I was not there at the time, I'm taking a step backward and saying it's not a date/not an ask-out. I think "buy ya a drink" is just a sociable, comrade kind of thing. A coworker might say that after a particularly stressful day, or an old neighbor you bump into, or someone you were on the swim team with in college. I don't think it implies romantic interest at all, and people say it to each other all the time without anyone really ever taking anyone up on it. As such I don't think it's a blow-off really.

So I'd leave it be unless he gets in touch again and says "so how about it?"

That's how I took it originally too (hence the eye roll on my part.) But then he stopped me (he sort of grabbed my arm to get my attention) and said, "No, I'm serious, 'Boots.' You tell me when." I mean, he could have just said thanks or I owe you one. Or left me with an eye roll since I wasn't taking his offer serious anyway. Why make such a huge deal out of it if he didn't mean it? I felt like I would have been rude not to follow up, you know? So now I just feel slightly ridiculous, even though I didn't really do anything wrong.

Eh, anyway, I suck at figuring these things out. I didn't think of Fri or Sat as date nights per se. I know that he works evenings on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I'm busy Wed evenings. But maybe it freaked him out anyway.

Anyway, like I said, I'm feeling less upset about it today. I'm not sweating it. What happens is up to him.

Boots · Gucci

Just a quick update. We actually went out Saturday night and had a really good time. After a few weeks of him telling me that he hasn't forgotten about our "drink" but he's having trouble finding a free evening, I finally told him that I was OK with us just being friends and not to sweat it. He "suddenly" found some free time. Thanks for letting me vent earlier.

Hermes

Boots wrote:
Just a quick update. We actually went out Saturday night and had a really good time. After a few weeks of him telling me that he hasn't forgotten about our "drink" but he's having trouble finding a free evening, I finally told him that I was OK with us just being friends and not to sweat it. He "suddenly" found some free time. Thanks for letting me vent earlier.

Oh good! Glad to hear he followed through and you had a good time!

Suasoria · Chanel

Cool!

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

Boots wrote:
Just a quick update. We actually went out Saturday night and had a really good time. After a few weeks of him telling me that he hasn't forgotten about our "drink" but he's having trouble finding a free evening, I finally told him that I was OK with us just being friends and not to sweat it. He "suddenly" found some free time. Thanks for letting me vent earlier.

UGH I hate these games. He wanted you when you were not available, when you said yes to the date suddenly he got busy but then when you rescinded, he made the time.

So, any more updates?