If someone who is typically a jerk says something rude or does something mean to you and you snap at him/her or say something mean back (and possibly overreact), should you feel bad? Did you do anything wrong? If you did, would you apologize to jerk or just let it go and be nicer from that point forth?
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Bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika. We all could use more of it. It's no taste I'm against. -Diana Vreeland
It depends. If you were extremely rude back then I would say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry I snapped at you, but your comment made me feel like xyz." That way you are justifying your reaction and are giving the "jerk" a chance to apologize as well.
What nunzi said sounds good. I'm stubborn so I probably wouldn't say anything & think that my comment was justifiable by his, BUT like I said- I'm stubborn.
I have this philosophy about nasty people: I'm always going to let them be the nasty one and the one doing something wrong. I don't want to give them any excuses for their behavior. So if I say something rude or do something inappropriate, I immediately apologize because I REFUSE to be the reason they are the way they are. (Or at least give them even an iota of an excuse for their behavior.) Does that make any sense at all to anyone other than me?
i like bluebirdes outlook, but honestly if that happened, and they said the mean thing first, and i ended up snapping back, i probably would just let it go and wait for them to say anything if anything was going to be said.
I have this philosophy about nasty people: I'm always going to let them be the nasty one and the one doing something wrong. I don't want to give them any excuses for their behavior. So if I say something rude or do something inappropriate, I immediately apologize because I REFUSE to be the reason they are the way they are. (Or at least give them even an iota of an excuse for their behavior.) Does that make any sense at all to anyone other than me?
That's exactly how I feel too. Plus, look at it this way: if they are always rude and are being a jerk, that's how their whole lives have been! They're much better at being mean and rude and snide than you are, so let them win at that--they're going to win anyway. My psycho step-grandmother (see my post in this thread if you want more background on that one) spent 80 years being a miserable person and was much better at the nasty comebacks and whatnot than I am because I've spent my life trying to be nice to people and she's done the exact opposite. So, let that person win at being mean. You win at being nice.
indiekitten wrote: i like bluebirdes outlook, but honestly if that happened, and they said the mean thing first, and i ended up snapping back, i probably would just let it go and wait for them to say anything if anything was going to be said. but that's my stupid pride
Me too. I wouldn't care at all and I would probably be satisfied with myself. But I have a tendency to be a bitch when it's called for. But it would depend what I said. I will snap at people, but I will never say anything hurtful.