Maybe they're afraid they won't be able to see their grandson at all if they don't behave. Maybe the restraining order scared them, and they're secretly on your side, even though they can't say so. Maybe they want to prove they're not as bad as you think they are. Maybe they just feel bad about the whole thing. Were they nice to you before? Maybe they were avoiding you because they didn't know what to do. Did it feel like they were reaching out? It'll probably be clear what's up if you just wait around for a while.
And I know what you mean about missing someone who doesn't exist. I would rip off an arm to have a beer with my ex, or watch the game with him, or joke with him. I don't know why it hurts so much to lose someone. It gets better though. I just keep thinking "It's just for today..." then the whole "I will never see this person and will probably die alone because no one wants a girlfriend who's 31 an divorced..." eases up a bit.
Big hugs sweetie!!!!!! You're doing an incredible job hanging in there. And I'm so sorry you have to put up with all this.
((hugs)) give yourself all the time you need- you can't change how you feel. Its a difficult situation. On the positive side, this may be the beginnings of a relationship between your son and his grandmom, if you think its a good idea. i am glad it went well. As for him, its hard when you have all these connections to him still, but give yourself time and you'll meet someone that wants to be a part of your family. I've "invented" guys too- now you know the warning signs so you can dump someone early on and what it takes to really sweep you off of your feet.
Hang in there. It's tough but you're doing the right thing. Maybe your son can have a relationship with his grandmother now. Maybe that's what they were afraid of. Maybe they just needed someone to make the first move.
I don't have any words of advice except that time will help, but I'm thinking about you and I hope you feel better soon.