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janey831


Kate Spade

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Posts: 1064
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girlfriend?
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I've mentioned before that I am seeing someone new.  How do you know when you are his girlfriend?  I am so out of the relationship loop, I have no idea how anything works anymore.  He did tell me he wanted to be exclusive, and that he doesnt want to pressure me not to see other people if i still wanted to.  Well, last night I think he referred to me as his girlfriend while i was talking to him.  I don't think I want him to see other people and I don't think I want to see other people either.  The dilemma I have is that I have a date this Friday, do i cancel now? I dont know what to do.  I would like to go out with him, he is really interesting and fascinating, but I dont want to lead him on?



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Elle


Hermes

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Posts: 7139
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Hmmm, what conclusion did you reach about being exclusive?  Did you leave it at he wanted to and you weren't sure?  I'd say if both people agree to be exclusive then it should be considered a boyfriend/girlfriend situation.  If you're not quite 'there' yet, just be honest and tell him that you're not sure you're 'there' yet and that you didn't want to be dishonest about it and risk hurt feelings.

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
blubirde


Chanel

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Posts: 4845
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Do you want to go out with someone else on Friday? If yes, and you haven't told him you're only seeing him, then go for it. See if it feels right. (My guess is that you'll feel really weird and awkward and then you'll know for sure if you want date the current boy exclusively or not.)


But if you don't want to go out with the guy on Friday then just cancel. Be honest with him and tell him you started seeing someone else. He'll probably understand. It's better than just not liking him.


If you tell the current guy that you only want to date him then I think y'all are in the boyfriend/girlfriend territory. I personally hate those two labels so I don't abide by them but if that's what things are defined as in your relationship then that's probably what y'all are.


I'm happy for you that you've found someone you maybe/possibly want to date exclusively. That was a really big step for me!



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poptart


Coach

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Posts: 1764
Date:
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I agree with Blubirde. I think the more important thing in this situation is that you do what feels right. If you're into the guy for Friday, give it a shot. But if you know you aren't interested in seeing someone else, and just want to see this guy exclusively, then I would be honest with the Friday guy.

Let us know what you decide!

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Forget, forgive, conclude, and be agreed. - Shakespeare
blink


Coach

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Posts: 1652
Date:
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That's tough, but it sounds like you are this guy's girlfriend now.  He mentioned the exclusive relationship and you didn't stop him for further discussion of it or tell him you might want to see other people (or did you?), so that's kind of a nonverbal agreement and I am 100% sure that he thinks the deal is sealed.  Cancel the date with the other guy if you value the relationship.

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"Go either very cheap or very expensive. It's the middle ground that is fashion nowhere." ~ Karl Lagerfeld
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