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Post Info TOPIC: I hate everything.


Coach

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I hate everything.
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My boyfriend left for Sri Lanka last night and I now hate everything.

Some back story – We met on this trip I went on to India last May. We were there for five weeks and hung out constantly the whole time. Our feelings for each other were never discussed and we never hooked up or anything, but I was pretty sure he was into me. And I was so into him. We ended up talking all the time over the summer and got together pretty much immediately when I got back to Maine (I go to school here, he lives here and graduated from my school last spring). Anyway, so he has a fellowship to go study Islamic architecture in Sri Lanka as a continuation of his research from studying abroad there and left last night to spend the year there.

Visiting just isn’t really possible as it’s a $2000 trip and about 40 hours each way. And we won’t even be on the same continent for at least the next three years because of various conflicting plans. We decided to leave our relationship as, “we’ll be in touch.” Whatever that means. Even though I don’t know when we would pick it back up, I don’t want whatever we have to go stale because of distance. I’d rather just leave it for some possibility later. But I can’t imagine what keeping in touch with him is going to be like without being with him. I think it will kill me, but it will kill me not to talk to him.

I realize I’m being incredibly dramatic about this. I mean I was only with him for two months. But I like him so much more than anyone I’ve ever met. I’ve dated guys before for longer than this, and while I really liked them and had a lot of fun with them, this was totally different. I can’t imagine ever meeting anyone else who even comes close to him. I do realize that I have absolutely no perspective on this situation. I’m young, I haven’t even known him that long, been with him an even shorter period of time, and it just happened. But it still is horrible right now. I just want to lie in bed and cry and listen to a playlist I made called “I Will Never Love Again.” How do I move on with my life when moving on is the last thing I want to do? And when this really shouldn’t be as big if a deal to me as it is?

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Coach

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Wow, we should really get together, lol, If you read my post, "Sad...", it seems like we are sort of going through the same thing, but not really, Either way, I definitely feel the same way as you are right now, I feel like laying in bed and never getting out.  And I too can't imagine not being with my, well ex,  no one else does compare, and Im trying to figure out how to move on as well.... It is definitely hard, sorry im not much help with advice, but just thought id let you know, your not alone and that im in the same boat.

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"Deep down you may still be that same great guy I used to know. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you" Rachel Dawes, Batman Begins


Coach

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Posts: 1913
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Haha, I just posted on yours.

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Marc Jacobs

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wow, ok seems we've got a trend going here, and not a good one at that.  ok, well, the only advice i have to offer i'm stealing from tennyson and i know you're going to roll your eyes but listen up:


it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.


it's true, i swear.  yes, you're hurting right now, but that's life right?  i mean how lucky are you?  to have loved and been loved back.  to have shared that kind of connection.  i bet you thought you'd never love someone so much.  and guess what? you did.  you did experience it.  even if it was for a short time, it existed.  and here's my take on tennyson:  it doesn't have to last forever for it to have mattered.  for it to made a difference.  for it to have made you richer for having had the experience.


you should absolutely not hate everything right now.  you were given a gift.  and who knows, you may be given it back.  but no matter what, you had it and you should cherish that always.


sheesh, i feel like miss mary sunshine but whatever, it's true and i stand by my tennyson!



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Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2232
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i'm sorry maddie.  i understand.  but honestly, everyday it will get better and easier to deal with.  i say sit and cry for awhile, and eat some ice cream and play with your dog (no one love you like your dog does) i was a fan of watching "love actually" when butthead and i broke up. 


but everyday you will wake up, and it will be easier, and easier.  it was for me.  you'll get through. 


 


 



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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -Frank Sinatra


Coach

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Posts: 1913
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Thanks girls, I know you're both right. Why can't I just fast forward to like 6 months from now?

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