STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

Need to become inspired

Andrea Julia · Coach

Maybe you are in the wrong program. I think everyone procrastinates, but the fact that you have some papers that are a year past due would make alarms go off for me. Do you like what you are doing? Are you seeing the program you are in as preparing you for your dream career?

It's always okay to take some time off to think about it or even to make the decision that you don't want to be in school anymore after all. Grad school requires a lot of work and dedication and if you are not able to give that right now, you are also not going to get anything out of it. I personally started working on my Master's and after 2 semesters switched it to a graduate certificate (which required only 4 classes) so I could just be done with it. I was conflicted at the time, but now I don't regret it at all.

-- Edited by Andrea Julia at 12:07, 2005-10-23

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

Thanks AJ. I am in a program that I LOVE in the field that I have been dreaming of since I was 15. Yes, the degree would help with a future career (get paid more ), but it isn't imperative that I have it. Would it prepare me anymore for it? It would make me more knowledgable in the subject matter (obviously), but I don't think that it would be that much of an advantage.

I am scared to drop out or switch to a certificate program bc I think that I will feel like I have failed or gave up too soon. I know that I could go back in the future, but the thought of writing more papers makes me ill. I just want to finish and GET OUT! Since I have about a year left, depending on how many classes I take, I feel like I *could* just suck it up and finish it. Then come in the rub, no motivation to do the papers.

AJ, how did you decide that it wasn't for you? I guess I am conflicted about it as well, the papers just seem so daunting.

Renee · Kenneth Cole

Read some books. First, "Professors as Writers" by Robert Boice. I swear by it and gave it to all my friends to read - it helped me get over my multiple writing blocks. Second, "Writing your dissertation in 15 minutes a day" by Joan Bolker is both reasonable and helpful. There are also great books on procrastination, I don't remember right now but check out this site:

http://successfulacademic.com

There is a list of books to read, incl. on procrastination. Her blog and newsletter all have solid advice well worth listening to.

Coaching might be a good idea for you. It might cost money now, but will be worth it if you get your degree.

If things are not working out for you in a program you love, something isn't right. You're probably dealing with fears, writing fears or a fear of failure (or a fear of success)? Maybe you could find a partner or partners, talk about your troubles and plans, and set deadlines. If you love your discipline, you should try to make it work before dropping out. The more information you have about *why* this happens to you, the better equipped you will be to deal with it! Let me know if this helps, and good luck!

Renee

atlgirl · Gucci

We all procrastinate, to some degree. Certainly I am guilty of it - even when it comes to doing what I love, which is also my profession. Sometimes just feeling the pressure that I "have to" do it makes me want to be stubborn and put it off. ~sighs~

But what's worked for me is breaking my tasks down into smaller tasks. If I look at my (endless) to do list, I start freaking and avoid everything on it. But if I sit down and say, "I'm going to do X items today" then once I get through those items, I feel good that they're behind me now, and often I am inspired to keep checking off tasks on the list while the momentum is with me.

You might try telling yourself, "I'll write one page today" (or one paragraph, if even a page is too daunting) and just do it. Consider it a rough draft, put it away for a few days or a week if you must, but then schedule a time to pull it out again and work on another page. Tell yourself that Tuesday afternoons (or whatever time works best) are my "work on another page" days, and then you can still have the rest of your time free for whatever else...but you will slowly start tackling what now seems like a huge mountain. One stone at a time. *s*

As far as feeling like a failure...don't. I know that's easy to say, but life offers so many choices, and the only one this truly matters to - and makes a difference for - is yourself. I graduated HS in 1985 and didn't finish college until 1999. I went full time, part time, and even dropped out for a while. But I knew each of those was the right thing at the time. And you know what? I believe I had richer life experiences for not taking the "straight and narrow" path through school. I have no regrets about how things turned out. And the reason I finally graduated college wasn't because it would help my career or salary - by the time I graduated, I was making double what I would've earned if I'd switched to my degree field, so there was no monetary bonus. And I was in a different field altogether...but I was paying on the student loans, and I thought, "Heck, as long as I'm paying all this money out each month, I suppose I ought to have the damn piece of paper to show for it." So I finished. It mattered to me, so I did it. But otherwise...I was doing just fine without it.

Best of luck, whichever path you choose.

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

Thank you ladies for your help. I think that I was trying to do everything too fast and just don't have the drive that I had in undergrad. I have decided that I am going to take more time getting the degree rather than not finishing. I feel better about this decision, I think that I can stick to this. I am trying to break things down and am setting up a timeline of when things need to be done, like you said altgirl, and it seems to make the task a bit easier.

Renee, I thought that parts of that website were helpful. Maybe I should get a coach, but I really can't afford that right now. If I am still feeling this way in a few months, I may suck it up and get the coach.

Thanks again, it is always nice to know that there are other people out there struggling with this stuff too.