STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Go on. Admit it. You watch it. I mean, um, not that I do or anything. But with the gazillion airings nearly every day of the week, you'd probably have to be a cave-dwelling TV phobe not to have gotten sucked into at least one episode of MTV's Laguna Beach, which by the way, is now the ninth highest-rated cable series on television.

It's TV's dirtiest little secret. It's the show no one admits to watching (certainly not over the age of 16), and when they do, they pull those curtains tight so the neighbors don't see--especially that blabbermouth bitch down in 3A.

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Again, um, not that I actually watch it.

If I did, I could tell you this totally addictive series looks like The O.C. but feels like The Real World: Orange County, or as producer Gary Auerbach calls it, television's first "dramality," a "hybrid animal that's in between the drama that people are used to watching and reality shows."

The concept is, frankly, a bit confusing to those of us-- crap, did I say us? I meant, you people--who follow this show religiously and ask: Is this thing real? Given its slick cinematography and tight storyline, it's either the most amazingly produced reality show ever, or...a completely fabricated sham.

The truth? It's a little of both.

Thanks to a little hard-core digging among reliable sources who work on the show, I've come up with the scoop on precisely what's real and what isn't, plus, other behind-the-scenes secrets about the pretty little rich (or are they?) kids who are fast becoming Hollywood's elite.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Laguna Beach but Were Afraid to Ask

It Is Real...Kinda, Sorta: This "dramality" is real in the sense that the these are actual high school students and what we see is actually happening in their lives. What's not so real, according to show insiders, is how, where and when these things go down. Believe it or not, the castmembers only "work" Thursday through Sunday (How do I get on this show?), so important "scenes" are often delayed and then set up by producers to make sure they're caught on film.

A few key examples: The now infamous bonfire scene where Jessica first sees Alex M. and Jason together was completely orchestrated by producers.  Before the bonfire, the crew spent hours lighting the beach and the mountains in the background before the kids were allowed to interact with each other. When Jason finally arrived, they told him how to enter the scene and where to go. Similarly, the big confrontation in Cabo between Jessica and Alex M. was specifically planned for that night. Producers saw the situation and knew Alex M. would confront Jessica, so they instructed her not to go off on her "man-stealing slut"/calling-the-kettle-black tirade until the cameras were ready.

There's a Reason They Giggle: My spies tell me most of the scenes with the guys or girls talking about a specific dishy subject (like Kristin telling Alex H. how she makes guys like Talan fall in love with her; or Alex M. and Taylor bitching about Kacy; and again, not that I watch this show) are coached by producers. They light the scene, get the cameras rolling, then say, "Talk about why Alex is so mad at you" or "Talk about why Kristin is such a bitch."

This off-camera coaching is actually the reason we often see castmembers laughing when they talk about serious situations. (Kristin, in particular, does it a lot.)  They've just been instructed on what to talk about, and it just feels...odd.

The Castmembers Are Bona Fide Celebrities: If the picture at right is any indication, these kids have become big-time A-listers on the Hollywood party circuit. Just ask our Party Girl, they're always on the list. Not only are the LB kids hangin' with Paris and Nicole and Lindsay these days, they can go anywhere and everywhere they want, no matter their age and how many people they bring, and, of course, it's all free.

Most of the castmembers are now living in L.A., partying and pursuing Hollywood dreams with their managers, agents and publicists. While Alex M. is meeting this very week with a few record companies, including Atlantic Records, the rest are trying to become actors, including Kristin,

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[Dishy side note: Kristin is repped by the same publicist as Lindsay Lohan, and my sources tell me the story Kristin told Rolling Stone--about Lindsay flipping out when she saw Kristin in Talan's bed--is 100 percent true. It happened last spring, so these kids have been mixing with the Hollywood crowd for a long time now.]

All this Hollywood hoopla hasn't exactly been welcomed by the producers, who have fought tooth and nail--with increased pay and exclusivity contracts--to keep these regular kids from becoming stars, since it ruins the original concept of the show. And now they have a serious dilemma on their hands because...

They Are Planning a Third Season: Show insiders tell me producers are currently negotiating their individual contracts for season three and have to figure out how to shoot another season, given that their current cast have all graduated and are bed-hopping their way into Us Weekly. I'm told they're toying with the idea of introducing a few new kids that are seniors this year (they're casting now), but ultimately, the show will focus on the current cast, living in Los Angeles, and will pop back into Laguna from time to time. They'll try to focus on the drama that doesn't involve Hollywood or Lindsay or Paris. So, expect a lot of teeth brushing and butt scratching.

There Are Storylines You Don't See: Even though we've never seen it on the show, Stephen and Jason are actually good friends. So much so that Stephen is perfectly fine with the fact that Jason and Stephen's former flame LC have been getting, um, cozy, from time to time (I'm guessing because he still has the hots for Kristin).

The Kids Aren't as Wealthy as They're Made Out to Be: Word is, one of the castmembers actually lives in a trailer park, and most of the castmembers live fairly middle-income existences (at least by O.C. standards). That said, LC and Kristin are seriously loaded. So loaded, in fact, that according to my spies, they're somewhat competitive--when LC's family built that humongous house overlooking the Pacific, Kristin's family felt the need to follow suit.