STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

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-- Edited by NylaBelle at 08:46, 2005-10-13

In the case of the two 'new' posters you mentioned, one was a case similar to this - someone made a post where the tone was unclear and because we didn't 'know' them it was difficult to interpret.  Things were explained and the situation cleared, IIRC.

In the case of the other poster, she has a tendency to write with an inflammatory tone.  As far as I'm concerned anyone who writes in that way, new or not, takes full responsibility for the responses they receive. 

I've probably cross-posted with everyone again. 

nunzi182 wrote:

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I'm just going to add one final thought to this. Boop never said that it was Nyla's fault. She said maybe they didn't want to hire her permanently. That could be for a number of reasons whether it be that Nyla is not what they are currently looking for, or if they're not ready to pay someone permanently for her position; none of which is Nyla's "fault."

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Nunzi, I completely agree with you.  And I thank you for standing up for the unpopular opinion - this is not something that is easy to do.  Nyla, I hope you can see that Boop was not attacking you in any way.  She simply was offering another view on the situation.  Be it that Boop's view may not be the "popular" view, it was in fact an opinion - nothing more, nothing less.

And, I must say that I definitely sense a little negativity towards "new" posters.  I know that sometimes I am hesitant to post because I am a relatively "new" member and I was not part of the FH days.

I would love to be able to say that we value all opinions (negative or positive).  However, we are only human - and I know this is not the case.  I also know personally that I have a problem being defensive when people give advice that I do not want to necessarily hear.  But I have learned that being defensive gets you no closer to solving your problem and only increases the number of futile arguments in life.  Ok, I am done being philosophical.

Back to your problem - Nyla, please please schedule a sit-down meeting with your boss.  I agree with Dizzy that he is lying to you.  It is much harder to lie to someone in person.

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-- Edited by NylaBelle at 08:47, 2005-10-13

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-- Edited by NylaBelle at 08:47, 2005-10-13

LMonet wrote:

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For posters who obviously register for the purpose of advertising or trouble-making, I agree that a deaf ear indeed should be turned.
But in the case of any poster offending another, however unintended, it absolutely should be pointed out!  So they could explain themselves differently if their post was taken out of context, or defend their POV if their post was indeed taken correctly, or at least take note of how their post was interpreted for future reference. 
I know I personally would want someone to point out to me if I'd said something that might be interpreted as hurtful!

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I agree, but there is difference between 'pointing it out' and outright ridiculing someone. I think her shoes from another post were even brought into it. That just seems vindictive IMO.

Nyla:
just read through your post and update.  i honestly didn't read all three pages so maybe you already did this and i am just posting for no reason but,

i would definitely CC your HR contact and maybe the temp agency each time you email the scary yelling boss man.  that way they know you are following through on your end by communicating to your boss and that he is the one not following up on yours and HRs request.

good luck!!!

NylaBelle wrote:

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LMonet wrote:
Had she left out the part about them sensing her negativity toward her job, I would agree with you fully Nunzi.
True again, LMonet.  It also implies that I'm negative here in person, which I'm not.  People like me here and stop by my desk when they come in to work, I'm the resident 'Lost' expert...no one would ever accuse me of being negative.  I was just a little miffed b/c of that (incorrect) assumption.

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Well Nylabelle you do constantly complain that your job is beneath you, so I don't think I jumped to any conclusions about you possibly being negative about your job. Furthermore, my comment was neither a judgement nor an attack. It was just an observation and I was just trying to help.

 I felt compelled to reply to this topic since I do feel that boop was rather unfairly criticized.  She did nothing more than offer a different viewpoint.  She didn't accuse nylabelle for being at fault, nor did she attack nylabelle's character.  The most negative thing she said was that nylabelle is negative about her job.  No duh.  A blind person can see that, and that's why she's looking for a new job, she doesn't like the current one she has. 

As for what Tara and Nunzi have said about new members facing some tough words for their posts, I have felt it as well, and have not piped up about anything for fear of ticking one of the older members off.  I know that for the most part this forum has good people, but sometimes I feel like there's this high school mentallity of ganging up together on one person and picking on them simply because they are different or new.