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Post Info TOPIC: Really bad position at work... possible lawsuit


Nine West

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Really bad position at work... possible lawsuit
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Am a regular poster but for legal reasons posting like this..

 I have a boss who is manipulative, domineering, and controlling.  She has continually publicly chastised, humiliated and berated me.  She usually sets me up to be caught off guard, continually prods at me, then speaks to me in a way that is more than demeaning.  She has done this to several members of the department and has been reported to HR by another member for the same dept.  I, however, work the closest to her and get the brunt of her 'attention'.  

After several attempts to talk out specific incidents, a recent meeting prompted me to go to her boss about her behavior.  He ensured me that we'd probably just need to hash it out together in a follow-up meeting.

Today was a follow-up meeting.  We both explained our sides, me basically saying that yes maybe something prompted disagreement but this is a business and depite whether you disagree with me, you shouldn't have license to abuse me.  Her boss was understanding but basically stated that management can often talk to underlings as they like, and it is a priveledge to be employed.  It was my choice to either deal or maybe move on [to another company].  I got the drift and stated that I'd like to work it out, I can be better with communication but I would need a committment to be more conscious of the way I was treated.  My boss then told her boss that she "would need to speak to [me] privately" and when he asked if we'd be ok, she replied "I'll be ok.. I don't know about her!" 

She then proceeded to tell me that she has a strong personality and this is her management style and perhaps she is not the best manager for me.  I stated that this was not the solution, she said she has no intentions of changing who she is for me.  

______

 

 

The behavior I've witnessed is nothing short of evil and I am really in awe that this is what human beings are capable of.  I am frustrated that the people in the trenches all get it but are too afraid to do anything while the higher ups couldn't care less.  I can't imagine if a direct report of mine expressed hurt and feelings of abuse, that I'd threaten to fire them.  I'm at a loss for words at this point.  Obviously this is a dead end and I need to move on.  I've been trying to find another job for this very reason.  In the meantime, I am anticipating her building a case against me on whatever she chooses to grasp a hold of and firing me.  I am wondering if I have a wrongful termination lawsuit on my hands? if so and any advice you guys may have.  If not, am ok, need to vent and keep my head held high. 



-- Edited by workerbee on Wednesday 11th of May 2011 12:27:20 AM

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Chanel

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Sorry you're dealing with this. I understand abusive scenarios. At my last job (yes, the one I was just laid off from), the CEO would regularly demean, bully and belittle employees. He also got violent. Once, he threw his desk chair across the room in a fit of rage and it just missed hitting my foot. Sometimes, I almost wish it had because that would have been a crazy lawsuit right there.

Anyway, from what I understand, it's really hard to get a "wrongful termination" lawsuit because most states are at-will states and an employer can lay you off, fire you, whatever, for whatever reason they want. And it doesn't have to be legitimate at all. You could wear yellow shoes and they don't like it and get rid of you for it. What you can fight for is unemployment compensation if you were let go for a ridiculous reason such as that (ie, not fired, although some people can still collect unemployment even after being fired, too, depending on the case).

There is such a thing as a hostile work environment, but again, from what I understand unless you can prove it's hostile against a protected class (gender, race, etc), then a lawsuit won't really work there either.

I highly recommend checking out the blog Ask A Manager- she has fantastic advice about all kinds of crazy situations.

Your situation sucks and I hope you can get out there ASAP. I am absolutely astounded by the amount of bad bosses and bad working environments there are out there. I'm starting to wonder if there are actually normal companies!

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Marc Jacobs

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First off, I am really sorry that you're going through this.  As you may know from my previous posts, I've gone through a similar situation.  That line bosses toe between illegal action and just plain annoying behavior is so difficult to deal with.  Like Kenzie said, she almost wishes the chair her boss threw would have hit her foot.  At least, in that case, the situation would be clear-cut.  

I do agree that you're probably past the point of no return.  Looking for something else is the best thing at this time.  I am proud of you for speaking up and identifying yourself.  It is very hard to do, and it often doesn't provide satisfying rewards, but at least you put the bug in these people's ears.  If other people in the future come forward, maybe they'll do something.  

I read a book last year that helped me better understand the dynamics of different kinds of bad bosses.  Like your situation, it was probably too late to do anything with this new information, but I felt better knowing what the warning signs are for future bad bosses.  My job with a bad boss was my first professional position after college, and I had no idea that managers could be so miserable.  Now, I feel better equipped to head off crappy behavior at the pass (or get the hell out of there).

The book is called Working for You Isn't Working for Me.  The authors really dig into the details of all the differerent kinds of bad bosses and how they affect different kinds of employees.  That's right, not only do you learn about managers, you learn about yourself and the baggage or work styles you bring to the table.  That is how this book is unique.  I like the book, especially, because the authors don't try to get you, the employee, to change your personality.  

Whether this is the right time for you to read through this book (or listen to it - - I had the audio version from audible.com), you'll have to determine that.  I recommend doing it before you start another job.

Learn more about the book, Working for You Isn't Working for Me, by Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster.

The authors also have a website.  I recommend signing up for their email newsletter.  The website is okay, but the newsletter usually has a helpful featured topic.  www.workingforyouisntworkingforme.com

Depending on how long you've been there, you're going to need time to heal.  Dealing with bad bosses, especially ones who demean their employees, can be very detrimental to one's psyche and physical health.  You may not be able to take time off, but be sure to find ways to support and rejuvinate your well-being.  Best wishes.



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Marc Jacobs

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I am so sorry you are in this situation.

From what I understand as well, wrongful termination lawsuits are difficult. However, you can document everything and if you are terminated you would have the information to take to a lawyer for a consultation.

In the mean time, may you find a job that treats you right very quickly.

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-gd



Gucci

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Wow. You must be under so much stress just walking into work everyday! Nobody should have to live like that. I believe that Kenzie is correct, you won't have much of a chance at a wrongful termination suit if she should fire you (basically your case would be that your boss is a bitch and while it's awful, it won't do much for you in court.)

I would start documenting everything that happens. It may not help much, but it'll at least give you a starting point to argue your case to the upper management if she decides to fire you for a trumped up reason some random day. I'd also get my resume together and start looking for other opportunities. Maybe there is a different department within your company that you could transfer too? Or even take a lesser paying job at a different company but one that might allow you to grow in the next few years (because I doubt that this woman will recommend you for nay advancement.)

Good luck. I really hope that you are able to make some improvement to your employment soon. I think that most of us have had awful jobs at some point in our lives and know that the stress that they cause will leak into the rest of you life. Do something nice for yourself to counter act the stress. Maybe take an exercise class or find a hobby that you enjoy. Anything that gives you a chance to relax and blow off some steam.

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Kate Spade

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Just wanted to say I completely understand where you're coming from. I have a boss who sounds like she is exactly the same. I have brought this to the attention of the higher ups many times, with the same reply: Basically, they understand where I'm coming from, but there's nothing they can do and I just need to learn to deal. I find this completely irresponsible behaviour. Anyway, I've taken to documenting every incident that could build a stronger case against her in case I ever need one. She is literally the biggest, most backstabbing bitch on the face of the planet.

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Dooney & Bourke

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workerbee wrote:

Am a regular poster but for legal reasons posting like this..

 I have a boss who is manipulative, domineering, and controlling.  She has continually publicly chastised, humiliated and berated me.  She usually sets me up to be caught off guard, continually prods at me, then speaks to me in a way that is more than demeaning.  She has done this to several members of the department and has been reported to HR by another member for the same dept.  I, however, work the closest to her and get the brunt of her 'attention'.  

After several attempts to talk out specific incidents, a recent meeting prompted me to go to her boss about her behavior.  He ensured me that we'd probably just need to hash it out together in a follow-up meeting.

Today was a follow-up meeting.  We both explained our sides, me basically saying that yes maybe something prompted disagreement but this is a business and depite whether you disagree with me, you shouldn't have license to abuse me.  Her boss was understanding but basically stated that management can often talk to underlings as they like, and it is a priveledge to be employed.  It was my choice to either deal or maybe move on [to another company].  I got the drift and stated that I'd like to work it out, I can be better with communication but I would need a committment to be more conscious of the way I was treated.  My boss then told her boss that she "would need to speak to [me] privately" and when he asked if we'd be ok, she replied "I'll be ok.. I don't know about her!" 

She then proceeded to tell me that she has a strong personality and this is her management style and perhaps she is not the best manager for me.  I stated that this was not the solution, she said she has no intentions of changing who she is for me.  

______

 

 

The behavior I've witnessed is nothing short of evil and I am really in awe that this is what human beings are capable of.  I am frustrated that the people in the trenches all get it but are too afraid to do anything while the higher ups couldn't care less.  I can't imagine if a direct report of mine expressed hurt and feelings of abuse, that I'd threaten to fire them.  I'm at a loss for words at this point.  Obviously this is a dead end and I need to move on.  I've been trying to find another job for this very reason.  In the meantime, I am anticipating her building a case against me on whatever she chooses to grasp a hold of and firing me.  I am wondering if I have a wrongful termination lawsuit on my hands? if so and any advice you guys may have.  If not, am ok, need to vent and keep my head held high. 



-- Edited by workerbee on Wednesday 11th of May 2011 12:27:20 AM


 

 Sounds like a sucky position to be in, but probably no lawsuit.  I would just get out as fast as you can.  It's so important to find a boss you like working with. 



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