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Post Info TOPIC: Need some Advice??
Lo


Nine West

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Need some Advice??
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cryi really need some advice, my husband is addicted to preciption meds, and is now entering rehap for the third time, i love him, and want to support him. but i just dont know how. im under alot of stress, i have two children with him and a step son, his mother and niece moved in almost a year ago and now he has he two cousins living with us. my husband lost his job about 8 months ago and i just got laid off about 1 month ago, things are tough and i feel like am going insane. im in shitty mood most of the time the only thing that seems postive in my life is my kids and the fact that i signed up for school and begin in August. My mother in law doesnt work nor help very much around the house other then watching the kids for a few hours while i look for work. My husband cousin dont do shit other then sit around and play viedo games all day. I try tell my husband that they all need to get there shit together and get out that we cant support them, but because of his own addiction he just doesnt get it, because they live here and i dont want them here it has been causing alot of promblems for my marriage. my mother in law doesnt take care of her granddaughter that she adopted she leaves it to me and my husband to take care of and by the time im done dealing with her im frastrated and dont want to deal with my own kids and it sucks, i try taking my kids and just getting out of the house but it sucks feeling like i cant just be home and do things with my kids. i dont know what to do anymore im not the type of person that just gives up but man am i feeling like just throwing in the towel and taking my kids and just walking away.evileye



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gingembre1


Kate Spade

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I'm sorry I don't have any constructive advice for you, but I just wanted to give you a big hug, and hang in there! This sounds like a really tough, really stressful situation and you're an amazing person for holding up under it all.

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D


Hermes

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Posts: 8209
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I agree with gingembre - that's a really stressful situation.

The way I see it, you have two choices.

One, grin and bear it until you're done with school and take advantage of your mil's child care while you can.

Two, leave with your kids and figure it out. Where there's a will, there's a way... Many a strong mother has supported her family and put herself through school all on her own...

Neither are easy options, but I'm not seeing any easy solutions either.




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Yana


Dooney & Bourke

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Sorry, Lo, heartbreaking. Can't tell you exactly what to do with your life, especially when such an important decision is life altering. What about your side of the family? Any relatives? Support? Can you try therapy (if it's covered by insurance, check, if you're diagnosed with depression or anxiety - it might be convered. Although it might affect your future indurance cost). I hope you figure it out for your benefit and peace. Much luck & hugs.



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YanaK
XtinaStyles


Marc Jacobs

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Wow.

My instinct says to kick out all the extraneous relatives. How can you be the pillar of support when your own foundation is not solid? Seems like husband has invited everyone and the world to live with your family yet he is not all there (bc of the meds) to take on the responsibility so it is landing on you. Too much, something's got to give.



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small fry


Chanel

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Iam with xtinastyles kick everyone else out, they are grownups and go find somewhere else to bum off of



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Suasoria


Chanel

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What a tough situation. You definitely cannot hang on much longer like this with no income and very little support. Maybe it's possible to salvage the situation with your MIL if you can talk to her woman to woman. You don't mention if you get along with her in general. As D. said, it's good to have another adult in the house who can help with childcare. But if she and her daughter are more trouble than they're worth, then leaving isn't a terrible idea.

The cousins need to go for sure - either they pay rent or they have 30 days to get out. With your DH gone and you without a job, you can't support them anymore.


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Boots


Gucci

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Posts: 2925
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Suasoria wrote:

What a tough situation. You definitely cannot hang on much longer like this with no income and very little support. Maybe it's possible to salvage the situation with your MIL if you can talk to her woman to woman. You don't mention if you get along with her in general. As D. said, it's good to have another adult in the house who can help with childcare. But if she and her daughter are more trouble than they're worth, then leaving isn't a terrible idea.

The cousins need to go for sure - either they pay rent or they have 30 days to get out. With your DH gone and you without a job, you can't support them anymore.

 Exactly.  Make all the extra people in your house pay rent AND help around the house.  The rule should be if you live there, you help support the house financially and physically. 

 

Persoanlly, I'd take possession of the video game system too.  It sometime helps to have leverage. 

 



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Lo


Nine West

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Posts: 2
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Thank God His Cousins are finally gone, things with MIL could improve but its getting better i put my kids in daycare since im starting school, husband is doing better and has now found a job, things are finally looking like they are improving now if i could just get MIL to understand she needs to make her kid be respectful things would be a lot better but hopefully in the next six months they will be moving out..

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pollyjean23


Marc Jacobs

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Glad to hear there is some progress! 



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Gucci

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That's great!

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small fry


Chanel

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Posts: 4689
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great news, glad things are going better



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