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Post Info TOPIC: Dumped...


Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2130
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Dumped...
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Help! Now I have to see him every day in class and I dont' know how to handle it!

He said he likes me, the problem is we're doing more than sleeping together. We're friends, he really likes me, and that raises expectations of a relationship. He called it "leading to complications down the road." And he doesn't want to be anyone's boyfriend (meaning MY boyfriend). So, he could be my friend, or he could sleep with me, but not both because he's "protecting himself." I said he was being an idiot, I was too good for him, I never asked for anything, and I liked things the way they were but it's too late now. Hate him. Actually, at least he didn't lead me on. He teared up but I did NOT cry at all (until later) by the way.

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Chanel

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Aww! {{{{hugs}}}} And yet another man confirms the 'men are scum' theory.  It sounds like he's really immature and you are definitely too good for him.  From your posts, you seem like a mature, intelligent girl.  I was surprise when I found out that you are younger than me b/c you are definitely wise beyond your years.  So, pick it up and find someone who appreciates you!

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Hermes

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WHAT?!?!?!?!  "The problem is that we're more than sleeping together"?!?!?!  WTF???  Most people would call that a "relationship" and it sounds like this guy just wants to have his cake and eat it too.  What a bastard.


That is a good thing that he was pretty honest with you instead of leading you on, but that's still pretty sh*tty that sleeping together and a friendship were too much for him to deal with.  You definitely deserve better than that.


As far as seeing him in class every day, just do what comes naturally.  Be polite if he talks to you, but you shouldn't feel like you have to sit next to him or initiate the conversation if you don't want to.  It's up to you if you want to try and maintain your friendship with him. 


I hope your day gets better, Dizzy.  I'm sorry he was a jerk. 



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Chanel

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What a jerk.  If I were you I would sit across the room from him and shoot him dirty looks and flirt with a guy next to you...

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Bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika. We all could use more of it. It's no taste I'm against. -Diana Vreeland


Coach

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Posts: 1862
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Sounds very similar to something that once happened to me.  The guy didn't want a real relationship, and we had every class together every day.  Luckily I sat in the back and he sat in the front so I could ignore him pretty easily.  I think you should do that--sit somewhere you don't have to talk to him or even look at him, but don't be mean about it.  Hang in there!

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Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2053
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i'm sorry sweetie   he's an idiot but you already knew that.  just pamper yourself right now, watch cheesy movies, eat ice cream, vent to your heart's desire--it may sound silly but it's part of the healing process. 


as for how to act around him from now on--literally act like nothing happened.  just keep your chin up, head high, and always act like the lady you are. 


also--he'll probably come back.  i don't know if he'll offer to be in a relationship or not but he'll for sure miss you and seek out your company again.  whether he wants to admit it or not, an emotional bond formed.  whenever people start talking about "protecting themselves", chances are the feeling they're trying to protect themselves from has already happened and they just don't know how to deal w/ it.  it sounds like he's a commitment-phobe so be careful, because when he does come back you'll have to assess your feelings to see if whatever he's offering is something you're ok with. 


anyway, just know that we're here for you whenever you need us.


((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))


 


 



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Chanel

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Damn Dizzy! What is it with boys lately? I've heard the same exact thing recently. Whatev. It really makes you feel like boys are complete lunatics, doesn't it? Hello? More than friends and great chemistry? That's a relationship, dumbass. (Directed at him, not you.) He's an idiot. I guarantee he'll either a) regret it or b) come crawling back or c) all of the above.


I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a dickhead. Yes I said it and yes I mean it. You DO deserve better and I'm impressed you told him all that you did. (All that said, he doesn't sound like an evil bastard because at least he was semi-honest - I use the term loosely - and didn't lead you on for weeks and months or more.)


As for class, I'd just act normal. Laugh with your friends, talk with different people, be your amazing self. It'll serve a few purposes: 1) smile therapy - you'll feel better, 2) you might attract some other cute boys in your class, and 3) he'll be green with jealousy. Oh yeah.



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Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2130
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Thanks y'all. I'm leaving the library early tonight (9 p.m.) for a few glasses of wine. And class today wasn't actually that bad - although there are unfortunately only 12 people in it. And I actually managed to smile politely each of the FIVE times I ran into him in the hall, so that's something.

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Dooney & Bourke

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You ARE too good for him. Keep showing him that.

Sorry that he is such a dick.

He will come crawling back; I can feel it!!

But you'll probably have another *better* guy by then ... too bad for him!

Keep smiling, though, even though it's hard. If you keep forcing the smile, you're bound to feel it.

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Coach

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Posts: 1520
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I'm so sorry dizzy.


The guy's an ass, simple as that. Just know that you don't need him and that you can find someone else better.


As for how to handle seeing him, just act like you're happy. Act as if nothing's happened and that you have no cares in this world. It will bug him that you are doing well without him and that you don't need him.


I hope you take care of yourself and hang in there.


 



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Chanel

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What a loser.  Get rid of that guy honey, you deserve so much better!

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Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2130
Date:
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Eeik! Today is the last time I have to see him before this weekend! I have got to get some icecream or something or I'm not going to make it! Thanks for all the support y'all. I'll find someone better.

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