STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

RE: I want these puppies

Hermes

I sent an email to him in an effort to further sell and think about names so he can hopefully become more attached to them.

subject was, "see how cute?" and in the body of the email,

"we don't have to keep their names either... they could be flotsam and jetsam..."

how he could resist them, I don't know. I'm hoping that getting him to think about names will help him become attached. For some bizarre reason, he is also concerned about poop. I told him, "you poop and I still let you in the house." I also said they're far less expensive than children, and there's plenty of people out there that have kids that have less money than us.

I also explained that I wanted them for my well being. I have some medical issues, and studies show that dogs can have a calming and healing effect.

I really wish I didn't have to beg. I think my arguments for getting them far outweigh his arguments for not getting them.

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

D wrote:

I told him, "you poop and I still let you in the house."

Thanks for the giggle.

Suasoria · Chanel

Boots wrote:
I didn't dislike dogs, but was a little afraid of them jumping on me. biting (even in play) or just reacting in unexpected ways. I had always had cats so having a dog around a lot is a new experience for me.

Me three. I've never had a dog so I'm unfamiliar with their behaviors and needs. I find dogs to be unpredictable, which bothers me sometimes, and I would feel lost at sea taking care of on unless I really boned up. GET IT? "Boned up?" HAHAHA.

So if he's in that same position, I think it's fine if they are thought of as "your" dogs. I'm sure that will last all of ten minutes. And maybe get him a book on dog care/training so he can feel more confident.

Is it possible he needs to hear more of the logical arguments, not the "aww how cute" lovey-dovey arguments? Such as all the research you've done into what the right breed is for your lifestyle, their instinct for going after vermin, finding a reputable rescue org (which of course saves lives), keeping you company when he's gone and protecting the house, forcing you to exercise by going for walks, etc.

Or there's always Plan B, the put-your-foot-down approach. "I will be adopting dogs. This is not up for debate. However I'm willing to listen to your opinion on whether it should be these dogs or not." (After the year you've had I can't believe he would not want to do whatever it takes to keep you sane and happy!)

Pet insurance is a good idea. Since they are purebreds rescued from a puppy mill they may have health problems down the road.

Hermes

Thanks for weighing in, Su. I think I'm going to write up a pro/con list and email it to him. I also think insurance is a good idea, especially since they were rescued from a mill.

I did try to say, "don't you want to make your wife happy?" I think he just mumbled in response.

Let's see... pros and cons...

Pros
they will be fun to play with
they will add love and companionship to our lives
they will take care of vermin
they will provide extra security
they will give me much needed companionship while you're traveling
they will be good for my well being
we are providing a home and love for two homeless puppies
the monies paid for the puppies will help to foster other homeless dogs
they don't shed
they're smart
they're small and easy to carry
they will improve our health by increasing our daily exercise
they will make your wife happy

Cons
they poop and pee and that may need to be cleaned from the floors on occasion as well as from the yard
they will increase our food and medical costs
we will need to make arrangements for them when we travel
we would not be able to leave them alone from morning to very late night, and we would need to take them with us on any day trips or trips to Pittsburgh
their nails may scratch the floor
they might scare our wildlife
a coyote might attack one
they will need to be groomed and have their teeth brushed
they will need to be bathed occasionally

is there anything I'm missing?

gossipgirl · Dooney & Bourke

D wrote:

OMG!!!! They are so cute - play the girl card and beg, plead, and cajole until you get your way - smile and promise anything!

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

D - I'm gonna be cheesy here. The bond that a person can have with a dog is a bond unlike any other, and I'm imagining it is approx 1/10th of what it feels like to be a mother. There are 4,000,000,000 cons we can make about having children yet people still procreate.

Sometimes we do things that will be a hassle simply because we want to and it is worth the effort.

I think the fact that he hasn't grown up caring for animals is playing a big role here and I wish you wouldn't have to justify it to him so much :( its sort of killing your puppy buzz! For what it's worth, I'm sure hubby is thinking facts, figures and logistics, not nurturing, companionship or emotions. I think you've reached the middle ground. Don't know what else to say but I wish you luck and hope he turns around.

Hermes

you're so right, xtina. it's impossible to explain the bond with a dog.

I know, the puppy buzz gets killed by this. I'm sure once I have them, I'll get it back. I really feel I need these puppies, and at this point, I would have a lot of difficulty turning back. If I don't do it now I'll never do it, and I'll still have that longing to have a dog(s) in my life. I'll resent my husband too.

thanks everyone for your support and insight -- don't know how I could have worked through this without you all :)

Hermes

*UPDATE*

I just talked to him and he said really the biggest con was pet sitting when we travel. He had done some research on the breed and taking care of them on his own volition. We discussed when we could pick them up.

We're going to get the puppies!!! YAY! I'm so full of emotion right now...

Kelly · Hermes

RE: I want these puppies **UPDATE**

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

I am so happy for you, how exciting!!! Congratulations to the puppies on scoring a caring and thoughtful owner! They are very lucky!

Hermes

thank you!! I'm so, so glad that my husband actually seems to interested and supportive of adding them to our family. I couldn't ask for more.

Boots · Gucci

I'm am soooooooooooooo happy for you!

Hermes

thanks, Boots!

HeatherLynn · Gucci

Congrats!! They are so cute. I love having a dog. It really is the best feeling because it unconditional love.

Hermes

I know, Heather. I can barely describe how I feel -- I'm so looking forward to having them in my life

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

Yay!!! So excited for you! They are going to bring so much love and joy into your life.

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

D wrote:

gd -- who is the vet? as weird as this may sound, I want to find a vet that will leave the girl dogs ovaries and just remove the uterus. hormones are a precious thing, whether you're a dog or a woman. some studies have shown that removal of the ovaries may shorten life span. I want to make sure she has as long of a healthy life as possible.

Dr. Morris Christlieb. He runs a 2 clinic practice. One office is at 10 and Meadowbrook, and is the Meadowbrook Veterinarian Clinic. The second office is on Novi Road, between 8 & 9 mile roads (in the tiny strip mall North of Gurnsey's) and is the Breckenridge Veterinarian Clinic. While I'm sure the other vets in his practice are great, I take Mattie to see him specifically. She isn't great with strangers, especially men, and they get along as well as a vet and a dog can be expected to. She's scared and suspicious but lets him do his work. He is at different clinics on different days, but since they are about 3 miles from one another I haven't found it to be a problem. I just book the day I want and drive an extra 5 minutes if necessary.

http://www.mvcbvc.com/

NCshopper · Hermes

Congrats D! I hadn't had a chance to weigh in, but I'm really excited for you.

We adopted a cat last year and it's been SO great. Same type of situation--I felt really compelled to rescue a cat and my husband didn't. I finally went to the shelter a few times, looked at a TON of cats and picked out the one that I had a connection with, THEN brought my husband along. At that point I was already emotionally invested and DH couldn't really do much about it. Sounds manipulative and maybe it is, but hey, it worked.

And I might mention that he now LOVES this cat like it's his baby.

Sounds like your husband is already more or less on board. I'm sure once he meets them, he'll bond with them and he'll be head over heels.