STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

A handshake is a bit unusual to end a date with.  Though, if I were shy, too shy for a quick hug or something, a handshake might be the best thing I could muster to show that I had a good time.  But, I'm not a guy.  Maybe he wanted to avoid appearing aggressive. 

I should add that this was on a street corner, not my doorstep... (I had told him he didn't have to walk me all the way home, because it would have been really out of the way). 

Hmm... a handshake, huh? I've also never ended a date like that. I've ended them with nothing (and surely a handshake is better than that), a hug (I usually instigate these just to avoid awkwardness), or more if it goes really, really well.

I don't think it's necessarily a bad sign - it could be that he was nervous or it was an awkward goodbye (if it's on a street corner, that could be awkward I think). One of my girlfriends once punched a guy in the arm and said "well, it's been swell." The thing is she really, really liked the guy and was just so nervous that that's what came out.

I'd wait and see if he calls/emails again. If he does, then he's interested. If he doesn't, then you know the answer to your handshake question!

But seriously - how could he not like you?

I was literally laughing out loud when I saw the heading of this post!!! LOL

LOL - now that I read about the punch in the arm i'm laughing twice as hard.

I have to agree with the awkward thing - is he a shy nice guy? I could see my husband doing that if I wasn't such a tramp & insisted that he kiss me.

blubirde wrote:

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Christine wrote: blubirde wrote: Hmm... a handshake, huh? One of my girlfriends once punched a guy in the arm and said "well, it's been swell." The thing is she really, really liked the guy and was just so nervous that that's what came out. I am cracking up over this.....what did the guy do after she punched him in the arm? What was his reaction? lol - he didn't do anything! He just was like, "okaaaayyy." heh - I still laugh about it. And guess what? Those two are still together two years later and about to get engaged. I guess he didn't mind too much.

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OMG! That's so cute. And hilarious. What a great story to tell posterity!

To be honest, a handshake would freak me out. It just seems so business-like - in a way, I'd think it was worse than nothing, and (to read too much into it, probably) I'd start to wonder whether the guy's work permeated his life. But.... That doesn't mean anything - I don't have any experience to back this up.

dc wrote:

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Just curious - what do you girls think of the good-night handshake from a guy on a first date (assuming the date was good)?  Good sign, bad sign, or just a nice guy? 

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I must tell you that my first date with my b/f ended with a handshake.  And I too thought it was *weird*.  BUT, we have been together for almost 5 years now....so maybe a second date is in order

dc, how did this turn out?  Have you seen/spoken to him again?  I think it is hard to say if a handshake is a good or bad sign.  It can go either way.  I would probably be totally analyzing it if it happened to me.  I've never had a guy give me a handshake, but I have had guys not try to hug or kiss me and it always leaves me wondering if he likes me or not.  Some, it turned out, never called again, but some did and I ended up dating them.  But then again, some guys will totally make out with you at your door and never call again.  It really is hard to read guys' actions on a first date.  So frustrating.

I hope everything turned out well!

dc wrote:

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Andrea Julia wrote: dc, how did this turn out?  Have you seen/spoken to him again?  I think it is hard to say if a handshake is a good or bad sign.  It can go either way.  I would probably be totally analyzing it if it happened to me.  I've never had a guy give me a handshake, but I have had guys not try to hug or kiss me and it always leaves me wondering if he likes me or not.  Some, it turned out, never called again, but some did and I ended up dating them.  But then again, some guys will totally make out with you at your door and never call again.  It really is hard to read guys' actions on a first date.  So frustrating. I hope everything turned out well! Alas, in this case the handshake meant "Thanks, but no thanks."  It's been almost two weeks, so I think it's safe to call this one.  That would be all well and good except he implied not once, but twice that he'd be in touch (#1: "we should do this again..." #2: post-handshake, I said I hoped to see him again and he asked when I'd be back from vacation and that he'd call).  Dude, don't say you'll call if you're not going to!  Oldest line in the book, I guess.. guys just don't know what else to say.  I can respect it if you simply say you had a nice time and leave it at that. Personally, I had rather enjoyed his company, but oh well.  I mean, I'd be lying if I said I didn't sort of wonder if I did something to change his mind in between him saying we should hang out again and the end of the date, but I am not going to beat myself up over it after only one date.  We had a good time, I thought, but who knows?  I was myself, and you can't do more than that.     

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Bummer!  You most likely didn't do anything to change his mind.  It was probably something that had nothing to do with you, like getting back together with his ex or that he is just a serial dater.  I totally agree with why would you say you are going to call if you are not.  It would be so easy to just say I had a good time and leave it at that.  I don't know why guys always think that saying that they will call is required at the end of a date.  I mean, sometimes even guys that do call don't tell you they are going to call.  Totally unnecessary.