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Post Info TOPIC: should I say something? *not so special update*
NCshopper


Hermes

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RE: should I say something?
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This is too much of a cliffhanger!  You'll have to fill us in tomorrow!  See how things go tonight and if you think the moment is right, then tell him.  Also, you could just wait it out and see how your feelings develop the next few weeks while you're away--but that's not nearly as exciting for the rest of us, so try not to do that. 


Good luck!!!



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Hermes

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I totally agree w/everyone else...see how it goes tonight and if it feels right,  you'll know it and say something.  From everything you told us - I think he's into you, so I wouldn't worry.  I'm highly doubting he'll reject you if you tell him - who could reject you!  good luck tonight and let us know how it went

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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blubirde wrote:

esquiress wrote: ok coming in late on this one and sorry if i've got this confused but isn't J the guy that said you were "embarassing" and that you went on too many rants and you guys got into an argument and you were trying to decide if you should apologize and we were all like he's the one that should apologize--is this J that guy??? if so, did he ever apologize and mend that situation?   That's the same guy - what a fantastic memory you have!! And yes, he apologized and said he didn't mean it like that at all. I still give him a hard time about it every now and then but he was really sorry he upset me and that he said it. I guess he doesn't think I'm embarassing if he asked me to a wedding to meet all his good college friends and his ex-girlfriend, right? And he actually comes around a bit on me ranting. We've both given a little, I suppose. I try to not get overly dramatic about little things (still working on it) and he tries to listen to my p.o.v. with a bit of patience and understanding. So far, so good. We haven't fought one time since then. If you can even imagine it!


good i'm glad.  now as for what to say/do tonight--just be yourself.  whatever feels most natural for you, just do that.  if it were me, i probably wouldn't say anything because the feelings are still really new and i'd kind of just want to take some time to feel them, try to see how strong they are, whether they're a reaction to something else, etc.  basically, i kind of like letting my feelings "ferment", if that makes sense.  but whatever, if the mood is right and your instincts tell you to tell, go for it!  good luck and keep us updated!



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ejc423


Coach

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blubirde wrote:

And he actually comes around a bit on me ranting. We've both given a little, I suppose. I try to not get overly dramatic about little things (still working on it) and he tries to listen to my p.o.v. with a bit of patience and understanding.
I think this is such a good sign.  One of my necessities for a healthy relationship is someone who challenges me.  Someone who wants me to be the best version of myself and naturally and lovingly helps me get there.  And of course he has to expect the same coming from me.  Maybe you guys have a little of that started. . .  So cheers!  I can't wait to hear how it goes!

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Christine


Coach

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Ok Bluebirde..............

Please update us! I was wondering how it all went last night!

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blubirde


Chanel

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RE: should I say something? *not so special update*
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Christine wrote:

Ok Bluebirde.............. Please update us! I was wondering how it all went last night!

Well, I chickened out. I know, right? He had some work to do after work (he freelances also) and couldn't come over until 9ish. I cooked a late dinner (actually a crazy move for me), lit candles, cleaned up, etc. But when he came over it was just so casual and friendly that it didn't seem like the right time. I wasn't getting an uber-romantic vibe or anything so I just tabled my thoughts for the evening. I was just too, too nervous anyway. It would have come out all wrong. But dinner came out right and he said it was good and that I should do it more often - cook or cook for him?? not sure. I'm not so much with the cooking so it won't happen but still. It was nice.


Now what? I'll see him tonight at a friend's bday party - we're going on a boat cruise around town so it should be cool. But that hardly seems like the right time to open up. You know what though? Sometimes the times you think are good (dinner alone at my place) are bad and the times you think are bad (on a boat with lots of other people) are good.


Wednesday we're all going to a poetry slam and I KNOW that won't be a good place because that's "their" place (he and his group of friends) and I'm not as comfortable there as they are. Yet. I'm working on it.


Thursday I have plans with my friends and Friday I'm leaving! Argh! Time's running out and I'm not sure what to do.


Maybe I'll see how tonight goes? *sigh* I'm so bad at boys. Dating I'm good at. Feelings - bad.



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sfcaligirl


Dooney & Bourke

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blubirde wrote:

Argh! Time's running out and I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I'll see how tonight goes? *sigh* I'm so bad at boys. Dating I'm good at. Feelings - bad.

relax, blubirde, and just go with it.  if things are going well tonight, tell him how you've been feeling lately.  maybe ease into the conversation with, "thanks again for this weekend, i had a great time.  i always have so much fun with you..." and see how he responds.  if he seems like he's reciprocating, go for it.  nothing too intense, just tell him that you enjoy spending time with him, etc, and maybe casually bring up the dating thing.  since you guys have talked about it before (and he brought it up!), i don't think it's too early to let him know what you're thinking.  trust your instincts, you'll be able to figure out what to say as the conversation unfolds.


good luck!  this sounds like it has potential....



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splash


Kenneth Cole

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Still, this is so exciting!

I think boats are soo romantic.. And I totally know what you mean about the least-likely places being the best ones...


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laken1


Hermes

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I'm just catching up! What an unexpected turn of events! I agree with let it just happen - why does it have to be "now" - I'd hate for you to rush it rather than let it unfold. So exciting!

PS - your life is sounding like so much fun! you have something to do every single night!

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blubirde


Chanel

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laken1 wrote:
PS - your life is sounding like so much fun! you have something to do every single night!


Yes but only when all I want to really be doing is sitting at home reading Harry Potter? I can guarantee you if I was looking for a busy week, I couldn't find it.

Also, I think I'm going to skip the thing tomorrow. My girls are having a night out tomorrow and I've spent enough time around the boy and his friends. Plus I'm not big on slams. bleh. I'd rather pinch myself and stare at the marks for an hour.

I'm going to see if he's up for a happy hour tomorrow after work (we have good times then) and try to say something. Tonight was again unsuccessful but I think that was me. I kept thinking about HP at home!

And I've decided I don't want to start the whole "are we dating?" conversation. I've been listening to what you girls said and I think I want to sit on it for awhile. The more time that passes since the awesome weekend, the more I want to be sure they're real feelings and not "caught-up-in-the-moment" feelings. (Imagine that happening to me!) However, I do want him to know I'm not going to be doing anything with the guy friend I'm going to visit this weekend. Hopefully I can get a similar response, but if not, I guess that answers a lot, doesn't it?

I just really wish he would say something to me so I didn't have to put myself out there, ya know? The risk seems so large right now. I'm only a timid person in matters of the heart.

I just don't want him doing anything with anyone else this weekend thinking I don't care enough to not be doing something with someone else, too! Does that make any kind of sense?

F**k it, I'm going to read Harry Potter. There's a boy I can love wholeheartedly.

Thanks for everyone's advice!

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janey831


Kate Spade

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I'd rather pinch myself and stare at the marks for an hour.




hahahahah! that made me crack up


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gingembre1


Kate Spade

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ooo, ooo, I hope it works out with J! It sounds like you two had an amazing weekend. Please keep us updated on how dinner and watching the show goes.

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