STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

Tips on not getting nervous at an interview? *Thanks and Update*

Boots · Gucci

RE: Tips on not getting nervous at an interview?

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

Definitely deep breathing - count to 10 for every breath you breathe in.

I try to forget about the importance of the meeting. Don't think "If I don't get this job I'll be homeless and don't know how I'll eat." Picture it like you're meeting a new friend to talk about work. Also, I found that I do MUCH better on interviews for jobs that I am not really interested in. It sounds stupid but if I don't care about it, I act more like myself, more likable and handle questions better. I try to remind myself that I don't really want the position so I don't feel the pressure.

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

I attended a training recently by a woman named Millie Grenough. She teaches stress-reduction techniques, and calls the collection/seminar 60 seconds to calm. Quick things you can do to reduce stress and clear your mind. Some of them are kind of corny feeling at first, but they really work!

These are things you can do in short-term for immediate calming (say, before you go into an interview), but they're effective over time, with practice. You can also customize for different needs and situations.

The material I got from this training doesn't describe each technique in a concise, easy-to-pass-along way, so I wrote quick-ish descriptions of each. They really work, so I don't mind taking the time to do so.

Millie's URLs

http://www.oasisintheoverwhelm.com
http://www.grenough.com

1.

4 directions: When feeling stressed, stop and lift your arms straight above your head and say "north." Reach both arms to the right, and say "east." ... etc. Sounds corny, right? It works. Millie says that if you are in public and don't want to/can't do it in front of everyone, you can do it with your feet, your hands under a table, or even with just your eyes. Even though the physicality of it is nice and helpful, the mindfulness is most important. Millie also suggests making it personal, which makes it more effective. Instead of north, south, east, west, you can think of favorite trips you've taken and use destinations that are in all 4 directions from your current place. You can think of feelings or things that you want to send away and make motions to that effect when you do 4 directions. You can also think of feelings or things that you want, reach out to them, and pull them in.

2.

3 breaths: Just stopping to take 3 full breaths with full exhales can refresh and calm. Millie says that they don't have to be crazy-deep; she doesn't want anyone passing out. But a cool little tip on top of this basic strategy is this:

start with the inhale when taking deep, slow breaths as a preventive measure to avoid becoming overstressed. Start with the exhale in stress emergencies.

Also, put your hand on your belly or chest when doing it. The physical aspect helps intensify your awareness of the breath. Pause in between each inhale/exhale, and exhale fully.

- Remember to breathe when you're in the interview too. Don't get caught up in shallow breathing. It will help you stay as relaxed as possible. And when you fill pauses in conversation with mindful breath, I think it helps reduce the number of fillers we utter (um, er, hmmm...).

3.

Cue-2-Do

Become adept at recognizing when you're stressed. Become familiar with how stress manifests in your body and mind. Learn what your triggers are (headache, butterflies, furrowed brow). When you notice that you're stressed, stop, acknowledge it. Ask yourself, what "emotional channel" (like tv channel) am I on? Are you on the "angry channel?" The "down in the dumps channel?" The "judgmental channel?" Think about the drama that is causing the feeling and determine whether or not it is something over which you have control. If it is something you can control, then ask yourself if you want to get involved. If you do, determine the action to take, and work on doing it. If not, pause, and think about the channel you want to be on. "I'm on the self-conscious channel right now, and I want to be on the "I'm fine the way I am" channel."

In your mind, imagine changing the channel (however that appears to you). Millie says you can even visualize neuropathways in your brain. As you change the channel, and keep working at changing that channel, you can think about how you're strengthening that new connection in your brain. Visualization makes this technique even more effective because that's what you're really doing. Every time you mindfully change the channel, you're building/strengthening new connections in the brain. The stronger that connection becomes, the less likely you will be to get stuck on the undesirable channel in the future.

4.

The last technique is a touch meditation. Pick up a simple object that has at least some visual interest. Can be a stone, a pen, a jar, a teddy bear, whatever is close by. Hold it in your opened hand. Look at the item and start thinking about the details of it. How much does it weigh? What color is it? What temperature is it. What is on the other side of it? What is the texture, etc. etc. Do this mini meditation for at least the amount of time it takes you to take 10 full, deep, breaths, with noticeable pauses in between the inhale and the exhale.

Millie says this is an especially good one to use right before you have to do something you don't enjoy or are not looking forward to. She told a story of a medical social worker who--when she had to prepare herself for a home visit--would do the touch meditation in the car before she got out to go into the house.

These all can be used for plain old stress, but others use it for help with impulse-control, hyperactivity, anxiety, feeling, down, and more.

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

I just started interviewing again. It is so nerve wracking I agree! My current routine is to to prepare the night before and then getting a good night sleep. Waking up early and getting ready. I review the notes I made the night before and then I head out with enough time that I have 30 minutes before it begins to sit in my car, read my notes, and think positively. Definitely not thinking about what will happen if I don't get this job helps out too.

Hermes

I find if I relax and just be myself, I am less nervous. I figure if they don't like me or if my answers aren't what they're looking for, then the position wouldn't be a good fit anyway.

Suasoria · Chanel

I think maybe I'd try to pinpont why you're nervous...if you feel unprepared, then overprepare with talking points. If you're shy then loosen yourself up by chatting with the cashier at Starbucks or the woman behind you in line at the bank.

Research shows that interviewERs feel that the interview went well when they themselves did more of the talking. When the interviewEE talked more than they did, they scored the candidate lower. So tip #1 is to get them talking as much as possible. It should be a conversation rather than a Q&A, but do ask questions to get the conversation rolling (probably ones you've thought about in advance). Really, people love to talk about their own stuff...company culture is always a good one, do people tend to work in teams, how do people usually communicate, how long have they personally worked for the company, etc. etc.

IMO it's totally fine to have notes and refer to them, and even take notes, as long as you don't pull out a highschoolish spiral notebook or a scrap of paper...but if you have specific questions then I'd write them down and ask as you pull it out 'do you mind, I made some notes on a few things I wanted to ask about...' I think it shows you're serious and organized too.

I think it's also less nervewracking when you have some level of interaction with the person before doing the interview - at least spoken on the phone or exchanged a few emails. It's much tougher when you're meeting with a complete stranger. I mean who wouldn't find it somewhat uncomfortable to talk about a serious subject with a stranger for an hour?

On that note, there are a lot of people looking for work. My instinct is that people tend to hire people they feel some kind of rapport with. Personalities have to click. They're going to spend 40 hours a week with you so really it's not all that far-fetched to want to be around people they can potentially like and/or who will fit in well. So if you can make some kind of connection with them it really works in your favor.

Quick story: I interviewed for a job at a marketing firm that was about seven blocks from my house. Which I of course mentioned in the beginning of the interview, like, you can't believe how close I live to this office, the commute would be all of three minutes. The interviewer had also rented a place in the same neighborhood when she was a newlywed. We immediately started chitchatting about the area, and the restaurants and the shopping. We were like BFFs by the end of the interview...I was there an hour and 35 minutes and the next person was waiting outside for who knows how long when I left. Now, I was totally underqualified for that job, and I didn't get it. But the interviewer actually CRIED on the phone when she called to tell me the bad news. Supposedly she really wanted to give it to me, but her boss said no. I was really touched by how upset she was.

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

RE: Tips on not getting nervous at an interview? *Thanks and Update*

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

Congrats!!!