STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

honey · Gucci

i had a mini breakdown at work today

lsubatgirl · Gucci

hmm that is a tough one. I guess if someone asks you about it just say its something you've always wanted to do but you aren't sure when in your future you'd be going back to school. Maybe you can find a way to play it off if someone asks you or mentions it.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

that is a toughie--where's dizzy when you need her??

anyway, let's try to put this in perspective as much as we can. obviously it's best to keep work stuff under wraps as much as possible but you're only human and you need someone to talk to and your co-worker's only human too and may make occassional honest mistakes. so fine, it happened. and there may not even be any repurcussions, so we should try to control the 'what if's' in your head as much as possible. so let's think of a way to respond if you're ever called on it ("it" being your alleged plans to leave for business school). i like lsu's idea--if someone asks you about it, be as vague as possible and say going back to school is something you were thinking about but you're not sure. and say you're not sure about what kind of school either. say you're considering an MBA but maybe law school too, you're not sure, it won't be for a while though because you have to work right now, blah, blah basically say you're not sure a lot.

now as for the envious associate--maybe try being icky sweet nice and helpful to throw her off, the old catch more flies w/ honey than vinegar approach (and hee hee, your name is honey so this should be no problem! soo lame of me, sorry, just couldn't resist!).

also, tell your friend to just drop it and not try to backpedal out unless it naturally comes up, since we don't want to draw anymore attn. to her slip-up.

don't worry, honey,it'll be fine. this job is merely a layover on the way to your final destination. you'll get there, just gotta have a little faith is all. and remember, we're pulling for you every step of the way!

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Hmm. This is a tough one! I agree with the sicky-sweet approach. And honestly, if you pick up on some envy, it means there's some esteem in there for you somewhere, too. Maybe thinking about that might help you kiss up to this coworker a little bit. If you can find any good in her, or just force yourself to give her something she might want, like five minutes to vent about her babysitter, just to be kind, you might end up not hating her quite so much.

Some people just aren't nice though. So if that's the case, what do people who she doesn't dislike have in common? Is she someone who leaves people alone because she's afraid of them, or because she likes them? If she only treats people well when she's afraid of them, then what frightens her? Is she careful of people who have ties to the higher ups? Or is she trying to get into some sort of club, like the Junior League? And is there someone in the office that she gets along with, that you could try to be friends with? If she values this person, then she might be more likely to lay off of you if the two of you are friendly.

Oh, and if you think it's just the coat that's bugging her, a quick "Can you believe I found this on sale - at a yardsale - in the super-bad neighborhood where I live because I spend all my money on clothes..." might do the trick.

PS - I'd run a gut check the friendship with the loose-lipped coworker too. Are you sure it was just an accident? And at the office, maybe drop a few "Next year when we do this..." comments. Can't hurt, might help. I think Esquiress totally nailed it though, so it may not be necessary if you follow her advice.

-- Edited by Dizzy at 14:32, 2005-07-08

honey · Gucci

thanks for the good advice ladies. i've calmed down now, but at the moment i was really stressed. i will definitely try to be super sweet to the associate (as much as it pains me). and i don't think my co-worker meant any harm. she's just very trusting, and i'm not like that at work.