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poptart


Coach

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speechless
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Okay, so this has been a kinda crappy day. I don't want to be negative, and I don't want to whine or whatever, but I need to get this off my chest.

So it's fourth of July weekend. My ex - the big ex - had a family member die last week so we were in contact more than usual, and this would also be our two year anniversary if we hadn't broken up for various reasons a few months ago. EVERYONE I know, practically, is out of town this weekend. I've spent the weekend going to bbqs and such with acquaintances. So this morning my ex calls - he is on his way to go hiking with this girl he works with who's always had a crush on him and with whom he's been hanging out a lot lately, even though he says they aren't dating. Whatever. I go on with my day, which painfully long and involves lots of interaction with people I don't know who aren't that interesting, and I finally get home and I really just want to do nothing but I feel I should go out, so when a random friend/acquaintance calls me up to invite me out, I go. (Horrible sentences and writing, sorry everyone). Well, it just turns into a total nightmare. She meets a guy at this bar - totally fine, but he is with some drunken asshole who proceeds to alternately insult me and try to grab my chest.

I finally broke away from that and I am now at home, but now I am very sad about my ex. I feel like I'm in the painful process/stage of really letting go of him, but at the same time part of me doesn't want to get over him, because of course I still care for him and respect him. I have always been pretty picky with how long I'm willing to stay with someone, and I just don't understand why the one person that I've ever thought I could stay with forever has to turn out to be the one person I can't seem to work things out with ...

This is probably a senseless post. Thanks for listening, though.

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Forget, forgive, conclude, and be agreed. - Shakespeare
janey831


Kate Spade

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Lisa, I t otally understand. I was/am still going through this with my ex. After posting, I feel much better about the situation, and am proceeding to detangle myself from him. I know that I should, but part of me is scared to not be in love with him anymore. It's a scary thought for me because for me, that would mean losing a part of myself that I have invested so much time and energy into. As cheesy as it sounds, he really awakened this part of me that I didnt know that was in me. It's also hard because he was my first love. Last weekend i met a boy, and for the first time i saw potential in this guy, and that fact scared me.

I just don't understand why the one person that I've ever thought I could stay with forever has to turn out to be the one person I can't seem to work things out with ...

i totally know what you mean by this. i hope you feel better, and feel free to whine/bitch all you want!

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kenzie


Chanel

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"I just don't understand why the one person that I've ever thought I could stay with forever has to turn out to be the one person I can't seem to work things out with ..."


Senseless or not, I completely understand.  I am 100% with you on this statement.  And it does suck and it is depressing and it is hard.  ((((((big hugs))))))  It's never easy to end a relationship, especially with someone who you thought you would be spending your life with.  I don't have any great words of advice, but I can say that you aren't alone.  And it's okay to be sad.


 





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killa


Dooney & Bourke

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I know how you feel.

All I can say is, you WILL get over him. You WILL find someone else — probably someone who is better. I know it is hard to imagine, but you will.

I have been through your pain, and in fact I am in the middle of a breakup right now. I know that he is not the one for me, but it is difficult to let go. It will happen when I am ready. I know that. And I know I will be ok. I have been through much worse with other relationships (I have had a handful of long-term relationships with live-in boyfriends I thought I would marry).

Someday you'll look back on this and wish you could be there to tell yourself that you are going to be ok, because you will.

Chin up, kiddo!

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blubirde


Chanel

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Break ups suck don't they? I guess if they were easy everyone would do them and there wouldn't be such a high divorce rate. (Weird logic but hopefully you can follow it.)


It's tough and it'll probably be tough further down the road, but it WILL get better. One day you'll realize you haven't even thought about him and you can't really remember the last time you did. It's the best feeling. Hang in there. It'll come.



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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Aw, sweetie, I know how you feel. Break ups are NO fun. It'll be worth it, though, I swear. I second everything Bluebirde said, and btw Blue, you're hilarious! I totally follow your logic about the divorce rate. That's exactly what happens!

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poptart


Coach

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Thanks, girls! I really appreciate the support and encouragement. I know it will get better, and I'm feeling better about it too. I did hang out with the ex last night, and we had a nice time, but I just kept forcing myself to replay the image of myself walking down the aisle to marry him (an image that has never felt "right") -- that image is the one thing I have that keeps me committed to my decision to end it. Whew. And, hence, I am helping lower the divorce rate. 

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Forget, forgive, conclude, and be agreed. - Shakespeare
laken1


Hermes

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Lisa wrote:
Thanks, girls! I really appreciate the support and encouragement. I know it will get better, and I'm feeling better about it too. I did hang out with the ex last night, and we had a nice time, but I just kept forcing myself to replay the image of myself walking down the aisle to marry him (an image that has never felt "right") -- that image is the one thing I have that keeps me committed to my decision to end it. Whew. And, hence, I am helping lower the divorce rate. 

I'm so sorry you are going through this - I know it is so hard. But I'm telling you, you are doing yourself a favor by not marrying the wrong guy when you know it's wrong. I did this & wasted 5 years of my life married to him. Only to find my REAL Mr. Right later on. I promise it will work out & the right one is out there - but I also know this doesn't make you feel any better......

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Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? - Roger the Alien from American Dad
blubirde


Chanel

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Lisa wrote:

And, hence, I am helping lower the divorce rate. 
Always the best choice.

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http://dailypointers.blogspot.com/
RyanJ


Coach

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I am sorry about all of this. I can't imagine how much it must suck.

My words of wisdom are that time heals everything. In a littel while you will look back and realize you two were not right for each other. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but I am sure you will be happy again w/ someone new. How could you not be? I have seen the pictures of you- you are a hottie!

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I don’t want no part of your tight-ass country-club, you freak bitch!
poptart


Coach

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Posts: 1764
Date:
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RyanJ wrote:

I am sorry about all of this. I can't imagine how much it must suck. My words of wisdom are that time heals everything. In a littel while you will look back and realize you two were not right for each other. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but I am sure you will be happy again w/ someone new. How could you not be? I have seen the pictures of you- you are a hottie!

 


Awww. Thanks! 



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Forget, forgive, conclude, and be agreed. - Shakespeare
manhattanmonkey


Kenneth Cole

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I just don't understand why the one person that I've ever thought I could stay with forever has to turn out to be the one person I can't seem to work things out with ...



Now we're talking about something I can relate to!

I was practically in love with my best friend (a guy) 2 years ago and we talked about everything - senseless stuff. We were both afraid to ruin our friendship although we were close to taking the step at one point but never did. He started dating another girl and I thought for sure it wouldn't last but I was wrong.

Without realizing it, I made faces everytime her name came up even though I had gotten used to the idea and she is an ok person but he still thought I hated her. We had been drifting apart when I realized that he thought I despised her and I thought I had set him straight, but I guess I didn't because we never talk, never know what's going on in each others lives.

We still hang out with the same group of friends but it's not the same and it kills me to realize that I lost such a close friend. At one time I really thought he was "the one" but I guess not.

I understand where you're coming from and hope things work out for the best!

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