STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Grace · Dooney & Bourke

When you meet a new guy...

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

i think it depends. you can meet someone and find them very physically attractive, but get to know them and find them less so. or you can have a friend who at first is just a friend, but the more you know him the more attractive you find him and attracted you can feel. when i met my boyfriend there was something about him i liked immediately -- i knew i wanted to talk to him and i thought he was cute, and the more i got to know him the more i liked him.

however, if you meet someone and just don't feel "it" i don't think you should try to talk yourself into it (if that is on your mind at all). if there's a little voice in your head saying "i don't like him that way" then that little voice should be listened to.

crystal · Kate Spade

i think u know right away. every guy i've dated that i wasn't attracted to right off the bat never ended up growing on me. however i do agree that sometimes u'll be attracted to a guy & he ends up being a jerk & u can become unnattracted to him.

Grace · Dooney & Bourke

Ugh...here's my situation. Went on a blind date....nice guy, cute, we talk really easy. I like spending time with him and so on but I just feel like there is something missing....a spark for lack of a better word. I keep thinking maybe it's because we just met and I'm still getting to know him. I don't know if that voice is telling me you don't like him like that or if I'm just freaked out of where is could go (relationship) and I am trying to talk myself out of it....

blubirde · Chanel

I say give it time. For me, I never feel strongly about a boy (with the exception of knowing for sure it is not romantic). Well, okay that's pretty much it - I never feel strongly for a boy. BUT sometimes I like some more than others and it usually takes time to realize it. At least for me. I've definitely been in situations where a person grew on me and we connected really well but not until I got to know them a little better, trusted them, etc. Then there have been times when a guy seemed okay, got better on some dates, got worse on others, and finally I realized I didn't like the guy like that. There is something to instinct so don't disregard it, but if your instinct isn't sure, give it some time and see what happens. If you don't like him you'll figure it out sooner or later.

bri · BCBG

yeah, i agree. give it time. i know for me it takes a good while of just getting to know someone for me know how i feel about them bc until i feel comfortable enough to be myself around them i cant tell how we are 'together" ....i dont know if that makes sense but it does to me

so yeah, give it time, hang out some more....

Karina · Chanel

I know right away if there is a physical attraction or not, but as far as if it becomes further than a friendship, that all depends on how the guy and I get along and have similar interests and outlooks on life.

honey · Gucci

i think it differs from person to person, but i'm one of those people who kind of knows instantaneously. in the times when i've tried the wait and see approach it doesn't work out. mainly b/c he'll do something that kind of annoys me and i honestly don't care enough to work it out or pursue it further. but that's just me.

Andrea Julia · Coach

honey wrote:

i think it differs from person to person, but i'm one of those people who kind of knows instantaneously. in the times when i've tried the wait and see approach it doesn't work out. mainly b/c he'll do something that kind of annoys me and i honestly don't care enough to work it out or pursue it further. but that's just me.

This is exactly the same for me. In addition, I will become intolerant to and easily annoyed by things that wouldn't bother me with someone I really like (i.e. smelling bad after a workout or making a bad joke).

I know so many people say they were friends with someone for like 6 years and then they fell in love. I don't think that will ever be me.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

well, physical attraction happens pretty much instantaneously for me and to be honest the do i wanna kiss him question is definitely a dealbreaker. which doesn't mean he has to be the hottest thing on earth but still, that's the question that separates friend material from more than friend material, so it's pretty pivotal, don't you think?

as for how many chances to give a guy who's on the fence, honestly I think it's all about how bored you are. If there's nothing else going on and no crushes on the horizon, the why not? factor can be pretty persuasive.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

grace, has he tried to kiss you yet? that always fills me with such anxiety, when you think someone wants to kiss you and you're not sure, and you have the whole date to dread it. or maybe i'm just weird. i also suggest you give it some time, as long as he's not pushing you to move things faster than you want.

splash · Kenneth Cole

I usually know almost immediately. But I would still give it time. If he's perfect in every other way besides that spark, either that could grow (hopefully!) or you'll become really good friends. I think probably if that's the case, he'd feel the same way, so hopefully it wouldn't be a problem.