STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

bri · BCBG

how to get a guy??

crystal · Kate Spade

hey, are you on myspace? i know it's weird to meet someone online but if u think about it it's much safer/easier than meeting a stranger in a bar/club/street/etc. i know lots of girls on here do it & while i haven't dated someone from myspace i have dated someone i met online before & it was pretty fun. anyways, other than that i would say just don't stay home.... go out & when u go out, even if it's for groceries, dress up! it's amazing how much taller & more confident i walk when i dress cute as opposed to shopping in sweats. good luck girl!

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

i'd say take every day as an opportunity and strike up conversations with everyone, guys and girls. i think the best way to meet someone is through friends so just expand your friend base. take up a hobby, volunteer, whatever it takes to get you out of your "comfort zone." don't worry you'll meet people in no time. and don't put yourself down--you are NOT pathetic, you are FABULOUS!

splash · Kenneth Cole

I've also been thinking about this issue lately... I'm pretty shy, so most of the guys I've dated have been people I happened to be spending a lot of time with anyway (like, at a job) rather than people I really took initiative to connect with.

Long story short: figure out where guys you'd like would congregate, and hang out there.. Hopefully making a visible contribution to the group.

An example I heard about (which might be a little extreme) is that a woman interested in an intellectual man with pretty traditional values found a church in her city that was in an upperclass area with a lot of doctor and lawyer types and that also had a large singles group.. Even without being religious herself, she knew that that would attract men she'd be interested in.

For me, I'm in college, but at a school that, ahem, does not have a lot of guys who are both attractive and interested in a 'serious' relationship. So I've been figuring out what kind of interests I think that a guy I'd be interested in would have, and getting involved in those groups. Most of them are career-related: pre-law society, econ group, etc... Also by hobbies: there's a "first Thursday" thing in my town when all the art galleries are open late, so that's a great time to meet other artsy people..

blubirde · Chanel

the women gave you some great suggestions. the myspace/online thing is a very "anxiety-free" way to meet new people if it works for you. i'm not a self-help book kind of person, or a dating book kind of person, but there is one book (my bible) that a friend gave me when i was ready to start dating a few years ago after a break up. it's mama gena's guide to womanly arts. it sounds super cheesy and it's pink and all that but it has some great confidence raising tips in it. after i read that book i never once looked back and i became a "dater." that was awhile back but it really helped. if i'm feeling especially low in the confidence department, i'll take the book with me to the gym and read it while i workout. i also keep it by my bedside table (hence my bible). it really helped me transition from a non-dater to a dater. and now i love my single life, including all the new men i meet.

you can do it. love yourself and everyone else will love you, too.

bumblebee · Dooney & Bourke

is that your doggie in the picture? because that's something right there--she's about the most precious thing i've ever seen. take her out walking at a park or something--i bet guys will be falling over themselves to come talk you both of you.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

yeah, your dog would be a great conversation starter! i dog sat once and took her for a walk in the park, and people were just smiling at us all over and wanting to chat. people love dogs!

you've gotten some great advice so far. i would only add that you should try to say yes to as many invitations as possible. the more you go out, the more you increase your chances of meeting people, or meeting someone who will think "hmmm, she'd be great with my friend..." i was not a dater myself until about four years ago, and that's pretty much how i started. also, this may sound cheesy, but if you feel confident and happy with yourself, and above all value yourself, and you will attract the boys in droves! you're not pathetic at all. starting over is daunting, but you will succeed with flying colors.