So I had this awesome first date last week with a super cute, smart guy who made me laugh all night. I'll try to make a long story short...
We got kicked out of the restaurant/bar at last call. He walked me to my car and he went in for the big smooch. In a moment of unexpected panic, I dodged him so quickly he ended up kissing my... head. It was comical at the time but then a week passed and he didn't call. At first I shrugged it off but then I started thinking, he probably has NO clue that I like him. I am very guarded on first dates and I had a long day at work that day and honestly didn't even feel like going. Also, come to think of it, when we were saying goodbye he told me what a nice time he had, & I didn't say it back (don't ask me why, I am an idiot).
So I thought I made it all better by calling the other day. He had a cold so I called under the pretense of checking if he was feeling better. He said he was feeling a bit better but he'd been feeling crummy all week and even canceled plans with his close friend who happened to be in town. We proceeded to chat for a good hour. We had a fun talk, more getting to know one another etc. But he didn't ask me out. He did tell me he was going out of town this weekend for his brother's b-day. I didn't want to ask him out so eventually I ended the conversation by saying I had to get ready for bed.
Now, I'm seeing a couple of other guys so it won't be the end of the world if I never see this guy again, but just for protocol's sake, was I supposed to do something else? He mentioned local restaurants several times but he didn't suggest us going. Should I have initiated the next encounter? He seems like a confident guy.... I thought calling him was enough of a sign that I was interested. But maybe he needed some verbal reassurance? Or am I making excuses and he's really not that interested? I know this is going to sound terrible but I'd like to keep seeing him because he only lives down the street from me. Dating can be so confusing!
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http://v247.tumblr.com One cannot perceive beauty, but with a serene mind -Thoreau
hi bridget if you like him, you should ask him out. maybe something along the lines of saying you were going to check out one of the restaurants he mentioned and you called to see if he wanted to come along. to make it less pressure you could do a lunch thing. i think he likes you, and he's probably confused about how you feel about him. even though you called him to check up on him, he could totally be thinking that you're just a good person and just wanted to make sure he's okay, at least that's what i would think if i were in his shoes.
and dating is so confusing. especially in the initial phases it's so hard to figure out if someone likes you (or if you even like them) and how to act without totally scaring the other person away. i have my own "issue" that i'll probably post about later, but i'm trying not to overanalyze every little thing, so maybe i won't. anyway good luck!
It sounds like he is interested and I think you need to ask him out. Maybe after the first date, he figured you weren't romantically interested and over the phone he was dropping hints he'd like to go out again, hoping you'd take the bait and ask. It sounds silly, but my guess is he was probably turned off by how you dodged his kiss. If that happened to me, I would be mortified and only go out with the guy again if he asked first. Some of the guys I know just hate to have a bruised ego--not saying you have to make it up in any way, but I think if you want to date him, you have to ask him out next. Good luck.
i totally agree with JacL. Sounds like you really acted like you did NOT like him on the date, so he is probably keeping his cards close to his chest--cause why should be risk being humiliated (and having someone turn their head from your kiss is pretty humiliating) unless you make it clear to him you really are interested but just spazzed out? Def. ask him out if you like him; I don't think just you calling was enough to make him feel sure that you are interested after all. I hope it works out!
just my opinion, but I think that your next day call was enough of a signal that you did have a good time on the date. I wouldn't suggest asking him out, you have already cleared the runway for him, if he doesn't ask you out, he may not be interested enough to make the move. On a more positive note, it definitely sounds like he is interested, so let him have a week or two and hopefully he will ask you out again!
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"Go either very cheap or very expensive. It's the middle ground that is fashion nowhere." ~ Karl Lagerfeld
What'll it hurt if you ask him out? Worst case scenario is he says no, and who cares? At least then you can write him off.
It sounds like he likes you and just got a little confused by your actions. (And who can blame him? If I went in for a kiss with a guy and he dodged me, I'd be mortified, too, as jacL said.)
And I think it's HILARIOUS that you want to see him again because he lives so close to you. That's just damn funny. The strangest things motivate us, don't they? And it's like "they" always say: location, location, location.
Give him a shot and see how it works out. You might be pleasantly surprised. Or you might be disappointed. But either way you'll know your answer, one way or the other.
Okay, I just called and left quite possibly the stupidest message of all time. I really thought he would pick up, so I wasn't prepared to leave a message. I basically said I'd like to go out again so for him to let me know if he wanted to. I guess I'll find out sooner or later. Either way, I'm very proud of myself for calling!
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http://v247.tumblr.com One cannot perceive beauty, but with a serene mind -Thoreau
quote: Originally posted by: Vanessa "Okay, I just called and left quite possibly the stupidest message of all time. I really thought he would pick up, so I wasn't prepared to leave a message. I basically said I'd like to go out again so for him to let me know if he wanted to. I guess I'll find out sooner or later. Either way, I'm very proud of myself for calling!"
hahaha!! Maybe you name SHOULD be Bridget! Congrats for calling him - good for you. Let us know how it goes!