STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

kenzie · Chanel

Male versus Female bosses

pollyjean23 · Marc Jacobs

Your thoughts on this subject are, by far, not unusual or abnormal. Believe me. I could go on for hours about this topic, and I know several others who could do the same. It's really a shame.

Suasoria · Chanel

I work in a "man's world," surrounded by men, yet I have a female boss. She is much more at ease with men than she is with other women. She also has MUCH higher standards for female employees, so they tend to disappoint her. I suffered at first, but we achieved a sort of stasis...however, I am definitely not as much of a "teacher's pet" as some of the boys I work with.

relrel · Marc Jacobs

I think I've recounted this story on my blog, so I won't replay the whole sad story, but the reason I'm not making more at my current job than my old job? Because the female oncologist who was going to pay part of my salary interviewed me and then decided that I was "too aggressive". My boss later told me that the reason he hired me was exactly for that reason, that I was confident and assertive.

I've spoken with some other women, notably a female attorney working under a female district attorney who has had the same experience. This female DA is apparently notorious for treating the male and female lawyers differently.

joy0302 · Kate Spade

I would absolutely rather work for male bosses than female. I have never had a problem with the male bosses, but the females that I have worked for have always been very unfair.

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

kenzie wrote:

Both of these bosses were in their 50s and well into their careers. They've been catty, nasty and demeaning. Both have called me stupid (one directly said it; the other found an indirect way to insinuate it), both squashed any ideas I had and contradicted them most of the time, doing the exact opposite of what I suggested. Both have also done everything within their power to keep me from advancing in the company.

Ive had this very same experience with male bosses so I think it goes either way.

I know alot of women who are older tend to be harder on younger females because they didn't have it as easy as us and therefore feel the need to make it harder.

Starstuff · Kenneth Cole

By and large the female bosses I've worked for have not been good -- no finesse, not good at handling employees, dismissive, etc. My male bosses (again, most of the time) have been great -- great managers, great to work with, and very knowledgeable. I wouldn't turn down a great job with a female boss, but it is something I consider carefully when applying/interviewing for a new job.

NCshopper · Hermes

I don't know--I don't think it's necessarily a gender thing. I've had GREAT female bosses and I've had truly TERRIBLE male bosses.

kenzie · Chanel

NCshopper wrote:

I don't know--I don't think it's necessarily a gender thing. I've had GREAT female bosses and I've had truly TERRIBLE male bosses.

I'm hoping this is the case because it would be very sad for women if it's not. But, I'm seeing other people with similar experiences, so I'm not sure. I know a lot of male bosses can be really sexist (especially in the the area where I live because it's not a very progressive area), but it's a little more difficult because of gender discrimination laws. There aren't laws against being catty, bitchy, impeding someone's growth and being generally awful.

twinkle_star · Kenneth Cole

NCshopper wrote:

I don't know--I don't think it's necessarily a gender thing. I've had GREAT female bosses and I've had truly TERRIBLE male bosses.

I've had truly wonderful female bosses and one that was so-so. I've only had one male boss and he was great as well. My current boss is a woman and while I may have some complaints that she's not assertive enough on the whole I love her. She's an amazing woman and I really look up to her, she's taught me a ton.

nunzi182 · Kate Spade

Kind of OT but I just heard something on the radio about this woman that started a company and decided to hire all females so they could stick together and support each other. Turns out it was the worst mistake she made because there was so much catfighting and b&tching going on and the women were always at each others throats. Not sure what to make of it, but it's interesting.

NCshopper · Hermes

nunzi182 wrote:

Kind of OT but I just heard something on the radio about this woman that started a company and decided to hire all females so they could stick together and support each other. Turns out it was the worst mistake she made because there was so much catfighting and b&tching going on and the women were always at each others throats. Not sure what to make of it, but it's interesting.

That is interesting. I work in an office of 12 total employees: 1 male and 11 female (and the man is out of the office most of the time). While I expected it to be a total nightmare, somehow it's actually not. Not that everything's perfect all the time, but there's hardly any bitching or catfighting. It's just not generally accepted as being okay.

Sandy · Kate Spade

I don't know... my first boss was a man and he was terrible. He was a wonderful guy, but a terrible boss. He was sexist, I guess, in that the girls could get away with murder while guys were expected to do more work/have more responsiblities. I thought it was awesome at the time, as I was 17 and could do whatever I wanted at work. The woman who took his place when he got transferred was also terrible. She was so catty and petty, I hated it.

When I got a "real" job, my boss was a male, and he was the best person I've ever worked under. He was everything you'd ever want your boss to be. Unfortunately, our project ended and I moved to another team, where my boss is a female. She is also wonderful, and I have no complaints about her. She's on maternity leave right now, and her boss is acting as my boss. He's so not cut out for this position, and we're feeling the heat. It's a mess and I'm so stressed.

In my limited experience, it goes both ways. Female bosses can suck, as can male bosses. I think it's more about personality than gender.

jrhampt · Kenneth Cole

I've had mostly female bosses, and I've liked all of them. Only good experiences.

kmd · Kate Spade

Honestly, I almost feel if I had the opportunity to work for another woman again, I'd decline. That's how bad it has been for me. I find that the male bosses I've had are much easier to work for and with.

bloomie · Marc Jacobs

I have always had a female boss directly above me. The first one was wonderful, but she is also a close friend of mine. She moved on to a different job at another college. The next person in the chain of command at that time was male. He was strict, but he was also reasonable. Now the female that took her place is a control freak. The next person in the chain of command now is female and she is also a control freak. She is totally by the book. Now, I believe you should follow rules, but there is also such a thing as compassion and this woman has no compassion. I do not like working for females in general. My husband is as far from a sexist as you can get, but he and I were talking about my issues recently with these two female bosses of mine, and he said he has had the same experience with females.

-- Edited by bloomie on Tuesday 14th of April 2009 08:17:17 AM

sfclinevandy · Coach

I'd take a male boss over a female any day. I had one female boss that was crazy, catty and rude. And the other was older and had this attitude I should be grateful for her paving my way and being a part of the women's movement. Because I didn't bow down and worship her or pay her due homage, we did not get along.

The male bosses I've had have been friendly, offered constructive criticism and had a sense of humor.