STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Sandy · Kate Spade

I'm overly mad and I know it (long)

Hermes

I know how you feel. I have my moments where I'm just aggravated beyond words (hormonal issues definitely fuel this!)

If you weren't at work, I'd tell you to work out to vent the frustration... maybe chocolate will help :)

you could also call or text him and just let him know you two need to work on your communication to help manage expectations. he didn't follow through on what he led you to expect. you can let him know he can avoid upsetting you by simply communicating more effectively and following through with what he tells you...

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

That would frustrate me too if I was expecting/planning one thing and then was blown off without being told (ie avoidance). I would let it go so you could get through the work day and then have a talk once you get home. I probably wouldn't do it in the car because that could be distracting and he could tune you out to focus on driving.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

I would definitely be pissed too! Is this like him? It almost sounds as if he were avoiding you??? I'd say a talk about how you felt with him telling you things to try to pacify you and then not following thru made you feel is in order. If he just wanted the weekend to himself then that's what he should have said and not kept stringing you along.

I'm sorry that this happened! Hang in there and try to put it out of your mind for the day, maybe it'll give you a little time to cool down, that way you guys can have a discussion about it later. Let us know how things go.

Kelly · Hermes

You have every right to be pissed! It would be one thing if you were looking forward to hanging out with him and he told you ahead of time that he wouldn't be able to - it would suck, but it would be understandable. But to string you along all weekend, telling you several times a day to expect him soon but then keep dragging it out? Totally rude. He ruined your days because you could have been making other plans, seeing other people, doing other things, but instead you were waiting for him to show up. Because that's what he told you he would do.

I would definitely talk to him about it. He's in the wrong here. If he didn't want to see you, or didn't have time to see you, he could tell you that outright. It sounds like he had multiple chances every day to tell you this, but he chose not to.

-- Edited by Kelly on Monday 23rd of March 2009 11:12:19 AM

XtinaStyles · Marc Jacobs

A thought popped into my head.. if he's having trouble with money he may be feeling anxious or nervous confronting you so maybe he spent the weekend avoiding it just to not have to think about it, even to himself.

NCshopper · Hermes

XtinaStyles wrote:
A thought popped into my head.. if he's having trouble with money he may be feeling anxious or nervous confronting you so maybe he spent the weekend avoiding it just to not have to think about it, even to himself.

I agree. It sounds like something's up, whether it's money or something else. I'd be straight up and just say, "hey, I got the distinct impression you were blowing me off this weekend. That's really unlike you and I just want to know if something's on your mind."

For what it's worth, I think you have every right to be as mad as you are. I know I'd be pissed.

alb · Marc Jacobs

xtinastyles has a great point - i wonder if he was avoiding you due to the $ thing. i'd confront him on both issues - the $ and the avoidance behavior - after work at one of your apts. aurora is so right about not bringing it up in the car on the way home b/c he can tune you out and pretend to focus on the road - my hubby does this all the time.

i'd be pissed too btw - you deserve better than that! hang in there, girl, and let us know what happens!

Vanessa · Kate Spade

I agree with D.

Some of my boyfriend's friends are huge resident evil fans and spent ALL of last weekend playing the newest one (5?) since it just came out.
Both my brother and long-term ex were into video games so I can relate. They were both pretty considerate in general so when a new game came out I tried to be accepting of the fact they were going to be playing it pretty much non-stop the weekend it came out or until it "got old". I guess it helped that they played it together and in my living room. We took food breaks together which made it more tolerable.

Is your bf generally considerate? Do you spend enough time together? Is he generally avoidant or does he communicate well? Is he responsible with borrowed money? If all the answers are satisfactory, maybe this weekend is merely a unique anomaly to your routine and not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things. If the answers are not to your liking, then you two are due for a talk.
I can get emotional/hormonal beyond the point of logic during that time of month, so I try to be hyper-aware of my emotional reactions those days. Not that this is your case, but just in case I wanted to throw a little different perspective out there.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

Glad it is all worked out!!! And glad you had here to vent :)