STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

alb · Marc Jacobs

FIL rant

Suasoria · Chanel

alb wrote:

I don't even know how to respond to that.

"Rudeness doesn't suit you, Bill."

alb · Marc Jacobs

that would have been perfect - and you even got the name right - lol!

NCshopper · Hermes

^^^ That would do the trick, I'd think.

If you didn't want to be that direct, you I'd just abruptly change the subject, no matter how awkward it seems. Don't look bothered, just change the subject. Do that enough times and it should stop. Don't try to tell him that you're not dieting or allow the subject to be brought up at all: your weight is not up for discussion and if you keep trying to explain it to him, that's just making the topic something that's okay to discuss.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

Suasoria wrote:

alb wrote:

I don't even know how to respond to that.

"Rudeness doesn't suit you, Bill."

I love it! Perfect!

And that stinks that people can't just be happy for you. You look awesome and you're doing it the right way.

Suasoria · Chanel

alb wrote:

that would have been perfect - and you even got the name right - lol!

I did?!? :eyes boggled:

I almost went with "Frank," but I changed my mind.

alb · Marc Jacobs

Suasoria wrote:

alb wrote:

that would have been perfect - and you even got the name right - lol!

I did?!? :eyes boggled:
I almost went with "Frank," but I changed my mind.

yes - that's his name and that's what i call him! omg it totally freaked me out for a second there, ha ha!

-- Edited by alb at 10:06, 2009-03-01

alb · Marc Jacobs

NCshopper wrote:

^^^ That would do the trick, I'd think.

If you didn't want to be that direct, you I'd just abruptly change the subject, no matter how awkward it seems. Don't look bothered, just change the subject. Do that enough times and it should stop. Don't try to tell him that you're not dieting or allow the subject to be brought up at all: your weight is not up for discussion and if you keep trying to explain it to him, that's just making the topic something that's okay to discuss.

you're right. this is exactly what i am going to do. thanks, NCS!

alb · Marc Jacobs

FashionPrincess wrote:

Suasoria wrote:

alb wrote:

I don't even know how to respond to that.

"Rudeness doesn't suit you, Bill."

I love it! Perfect!

And that stinks that people can't just be happy for you. You look awesome and you're doing it the right way.

thanks fp! i just had a crappy day yesterday for a number of reasons, and it just made that comment all the more annoying.

Sandy · Kate Spade

When someone makes an uncomfortable or offensive comment toward me, I just give them a long, hard stare for as long as is possible. No smile, no fake laugh, no dirty look... it makes them just as uncomfortable as they just made me. No confrontation necessary

-- Edited by Sandy at 15:18, 2009-03-01

Boots · Gucci

I went through a weight loss (45-50 pounds) about 9 years ago and I work really hard to stay in shape now and eat right. But people still feel it's OK to commit on my weight (one friend actually checks to see if I'm eating at parties- yes I eat, I just don't munch on all the junk food. My family get annoyed with my commitment to working out, yet they all complain about how they wish they could lose weight themselves. And so on...)

I've found that the best way to handle people who say something backhanded (like your FIL) is to smile at them and say something like "I'm healthy and quite happy with the way I am." And then realize that people often say stupid things with out really thinking and the best thing for you is to just let it go. You still have your weight loss and healthier lifestyle and they can't take that way from you.

Suasoria · Chanel

I'm sure we've covered this before, but there is something about being thin that makes other people feel entitled to say the rudest, most intrusive things. Yet if we spoke to fat people the same way, we'd get smacked. It would be considered "weightism" or something.

alb · Marc Jacobs

Sandy wrote:

When someone makes an uncomfortable or offensive comment toward me, I just give them a long, hard stare for as long as is possible. No smile, no fake laugh, no dirty look... it makes them just as uncomfortable as they just made me. No confrontation necessary

-- Edited by Sandy at 15:18, 2009-03-01

i love this one! thanks!!

alb · Marc Jacobs

Boots wrote:

I went through a weight loss (45-50 pounds) about 9 years ago and I work really hard to stay in shape now and eat right. But people still feel it's OK to commit on my weight (one friend actually checks to see if I'm eating at parties- yes I eat, I just don't munch on all the junk food. My family get annoyed with my commitment to working out, yet they all complain about how they wish they could lose weight themselves. And so on...)

I've found that the best way to handle people who say something backhanded (like your FIL) is to smile at them and say something like "I'm healthy and quite happy with the way I am." And then realize that people often say stupid things with out really thinking and the best thing for you is to just let it go. You still have your weight loss and healthier lifestyle and they can't take that way from you.

thanks so much, boots, this was very insightful. the bolded part is EXACTLY my experience w/ my inlaws. they eat like crap everyday and then get irritated that i don't eat that stuff too when we see them (which is not every day thankk god), even though it doesn't inconvenience them in any way. they also LOVE to comment on my admittedly excessive use of salt. i put salt on a lot of foods - i know that salt is not the greatest thing for me (i use sea salt in my own home) but it really is the only vice i have (that i can think of). they ask me if i have high blood pressure or high cholesterol at literally every meal. nope. i don't. and my cholesterol is really good too. sorry. they both have always been very good (from what i am told).

Yana · Dooney & Bourke

"Jealous, ....papa?"

Boots · Gucci

I really believe in the 90/10% way of living. As long as I eat right 90% of the time, the other 10% is fine to slack off a little. It's too hard to try to be perfect. Plus, if you are avoiding a lot of processed foods, your sodium level is probably better than the rest of your extended family. Food needs to be seasoned! (If you've ever watched Top Chef, at least once an episode one of the judges comments about how the dish just needed some salt.)

Next time somebody comments on your salt (I love using good sea salt too) tell them with a sigh that it's just "exhausting being so perfect all the time and I thought I should find something to work on..."

alb · Marc Jacobs

Boots wrote:

I really believe in the 90/10% way of living. As long as I eat right 90% of the time, the other 10% is fine to slack off a little. It's too hard to try to be perfect. Plus, if you are avoiding a lot of processed foods, your sodium level is probably better than the rest of your extended family. Food needs to be seasoned! (If you've ever watched Top Chef, at least once an episode one of the judges comments about how the dish just needed some salt.)

Next time somebody comments on your salt (I love using good sea salt too) tell them with a sigh that it's just "exhausting being so perfect all the time and I thought I should find something to work on..."

thanks, boots! i agree with everything you said and yes i try to stay away from processed foods most of the time. i like the comment you posted and may try it if i can pull it off (maybe after a glass of wine - hehe). on a side note, have you ever tried smoked sea salt? it's amazing - i like it on edamame and scrambled eggs!

Boots · Gucci

Never tried smoked sea salt. I'm going to have to seek that out!