STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

sfcaligirl · Dooney & Bourke

RE: RE: RE: Terri Schiavo Blog

sfcaligirl · Dooney & Bourke

quote:
Originally posted by: Drew
"Crystal, Detroit, SFcaligirl, et al., I can totally understand where the astonishment and disgust at such a blog would come from; I am sure we all can. And I can respect that. I hope you all can also respect that some of us can find humor at the oddest times in the oddest of circumstances, and I don't think that is a bad thing at all. So long as it's not coming from a place of maliciousness I think dark humor is ok. Humor is really just a reaction at hearing/seeing/reading the unexpected. That's all really. And that blog was certainly unexpected, you know what I mean?"

hi drew,

i totally agree with finding humor in unexpected places- god, sometimes i think humor is the only thing that gets me through the day! so while i don't share your opinon in this case, i certainly respect it.

Drew · Gucci

I think we should generally feel comfortable laughing at almost anything.

I know here in the Northeast sarcasm is widely accepted as a form of humor. My friend will make fun of me just for a laugh and, in a way, to show she cares (you would only be sarcastic in a humourous way to someone you care for, for it to not be considered mean). My experience on the West coast taught me that sarcasm is generally not viewed in the same way (it's just mean).

So I would make fun of anyone just for the laugh, not to be mean. And I would never make fun of a handicapped person's handicap to be malicious, but if it is just in the spirit of fun, then why not? Why not laugh at ourselves? I can make fun of myself in the same way. I guess I don't think anything is off limits. I am not into being politically correct (sensative) so maybe that's just a personal thing, as I happen to be tough myself and don't get hurt by silly comments to make fun of someone, so long as it's not coming from a place of maliciousness. I can understand that side that would say it promotes ill spirit and contempt, and perhaps even motivates someone to harm another person, but the people engaging in the nastiness of it all are different all together in my mind, and I really cannot speak for them and their humor.

I think dark humor is ok. It is ok to laugh, and I think finding any kind of humor in the darkest of times can be therapeutic. I get the sense that people cannot/will not be serious and silly at the same time, but I happen to think they can go hand in hand quite well.

That's all for now. I will mull this over and maybe write more.

Maddie · Coach

I kind of agree that this is inappropriate. I make jokes about EVERYTHING and I'm very sarcastic and enjoy dark humor, but I think this is just in poor taste.

sfcaligirl · Dooney & Bourke

quote:
Originally posted by: Drew
"I think we should generally feel comfortable laughing at almost anything. I know here in the Northeast sarcasm is widely accepted as a form of humor. My friend will make fun of me just for a laugh and, in a way, to show she cares (you would only be sarcastic in a humourous way to someone you care for, for it to not be considered mean). My experience on the West coast taught me that sarcasm is generally not viewed in the same way (it's just mean). So I would make fun of anyone just for the laugh, not to be mean. And I would never make fun of a handicapped person's handicap to be malicious, but if it is just in the spirit of fun, then why not? Why not laugh at ourselves?

this is an interesting conversation!

drew, i'm with you on the sarcasm thing. i am from the northeast originally and just moved out to CA last summer so i know how different it is! i'm a huge fan of sarcasm and i swear the people out here in CA just don't get me. sarcasm loses all of its effectiveness when you have to explain to somebody that you're being sarcastic. lame. some of my friendships (at home) are based completely on giving each other shit. that doesn't really fly out here- people are more sensitive. i guess you just have to know your audience.

in general, i can find humor in almost anything- this topic just happened to touch on one of the few things that i personally can't laugh at. i think it comes from growing up with my cousin and watching his struggles- i feel like i have to defend him and others who can't defend themselves, you know? i don't mean to keep bringing up my cousin- i'm not trying to have a pity party here, it just helps to explain where i'm coming from on this issue.

-- Edited by sfcaligirl at 15:47, 2005-03-31

Starstuff · Kenneth Cole

I'll admit I did find it funny... and also very harsh. One aspect that I found humorous was the whole idea of a 'blog' for her at all. I think it makes fun more of blogging than of her directly. Perhaps the author(s) of the blog saw an opportunity to comment on the relentless minutae that is content of most people's blogs, and that even someone who has no brain activity has one, and updates it. The joke may be on the reader for reading it, not "Terri" for having one...

honey · Gucci

quote:
Originally posted by: Starstuff
"I'll admit I did find it funny... and also very harsh. One aspect that I found humorous was the whole idea of a 'blog' for her at all. I think it makes fun more of blogging than of her directly. Perhaps the author(s) of the blog saw an opportunity to comment on the relentless minutae that is content of most people's blogs, and that even someone who has no brain activity has one, and updates it. The joke may be on the reader for reading it, not "Terri" for having one... "

that's the perspective i had when i read it.

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: Starstuff
"I'll admit I did find it funny... and also very harsh. One aspect that I found humorous was the whole idea of a 'blog' for her at all. I think it makes fun more of blogging than of her directly. Perhaps the author(s) of the blog saw an opportunity to comment on the relentless minutae that is content of most people's blogs, and that even someone who has no brain activity has one, and updates it. The joke may be on the reader for reading it, not "Terri" for having one... "

me too

I really LOVE the fact that we can all sit here and talk about whether or not a joke is appropriate or not without people getting crazy. That's one of the reasons I like this forum. Awww (((hugs))) you guys!

Sick and twisted humor is just that, sick and twisted. Some people like it, some people don't. What is it Lydia says in Beetlejuice? "I myself am strange and unusual." Humor is a perfectly natural response to stressful situations, and I would rather people laugh at me and make jokes about me when I'm gone than mourn me. So I don't feel bad laughing, but I can understand how a situation can be more personal to some people. For instance, I'm super-sensitive about calling people Nazis (i.e. Soup Nazi, Feminazi, etc.) but a ton of people do it all the time to get a laugh. That's cool because I know everyone doesn't feel the same way I do about that word. I just don't do it.

And I'm REALLY glad there's a responsible administrator here on this forum - thanks women for keeping this place free from the likes of Darlene!

twinkle · Coach

I wanted to apologize if I offended anyone by posting this link!!! First of all, please know that it was posted before Terri died, and I would not have been so insensitive as to post it right after she died, which is when this post gathered lots of heat.

That being said, Drew, I couldn't agree with you more-- I personally think its important to find humor in anything and everything in life. I in no way disrespect Terri or the terrible ordeal she & her family have gone through-- I just honestly believe that humor is the best way to get through anything!

Maddie · Coach

Mara, I at least wasn't offended, it's just not my style.

jen · Kate Spade

Although I don't really care if others laugh, that blog makes me sad. I'm just thinking if Terry was my mom or sister or whatever and people were making blogs about it and laughing at her condition, I'd be heartbroken, even more so now that she's dead.

Mia · Kate Spade

Insensitive? Yes.

Funny? Probably.

I am with Maddie, I think. It feels bad to read that, but I wouldn't be in favour of banning it. That's the problem - you can be offended by something and that's OK, but the next step - thinking that because you're offended then it should be banned - is where I start having problems (and no one suggested that here - I am talking generally!).

Andrea Julia · Coach

I was slightly amused by it. Not falling off the chair laughing or anything. I find the humor in thinking about the person creating it. It's just such a funny/weird thing to do. I'm definitely not offended by it, but I'm a pretty jaded person. It takes a lot to shock or offend me. Let's hope Terri's family doesn't have to see it though. They would be shocked and offended.

Drew · Gucci

quote:
Originally posted by: jen
"Although I don't really care if others laugh, that blog makes me sad. I'm just thinking if Terry was my mom or sister or whatever and people were making blogs about it and laughing at her condition, I'd be heartbroken, even more so now that she's dead. "

I just wanted to touch on this, because I think it shows exactly the misconception I don't want people to have about why I found humor in the joke. I was not laughing at her condition.

I was laughing at the notion of a blog itself, not Terri's condition, which I think was very sad.

Karina · Chanel

oooh that's not even right!

Hermes

you know, I'm really bummed about this whole thread. I hopped on to see it yesterday AM and thought to myself *that blog is really edge of the herd, but I love how people feel so comfortable here that they'll admit finding humor in something so controversial.*

then we get some alien intruder that throws a monkey wrench in the whole thing, and instead of it being a beautiful place where people can express their true selves (whether it's for or against the blog) it makes everyone who was raw and candid have to defend their thinking. I just wish everyone would continue to be raw and candid without fear of critcism or fear of judgement or having to defend themselves. I hope this thread doesn't make people hold back in the future...

laken1 · Hermes

Detroit, on the contrary, I think it opens it up for me. I have held back in the past because really, I never want to create / feed controversy, but the way that the majority of the people on this post have handled themselves & showed respect for other views & opinions reminds me why I love this board for all the areas, not just the fashion. I think we have a great group & really think we are mature enough to have discussions without worrying about people being too judgemental or attacking our views. We are all going to feel differently about different subjects, I'm just glad that everyone is being so honest about it. Healthy debate never hurt anyone, it's just the offensive posts that were handled quickly that bum me out. Thanks to the admin for the proper handling of a new, offensive member.

-- Edited by laken1 at 11:46, 2005-04-01

Hermes

quote:
Originally posted by: laken1
"Detroit, on the contrary, I think it opens it up for me. I have held back in the past because really, I never want to create / feed controversy, but the way that the majority of the people on this post have handled themselves & showed respect for other views & opinions reminds me why I love this board for all the areas, not just the fashion. I think we have a great group & really think we are mature enough to have discussions without worrying about people being too judgemental or attacking our views. We are all going to feel differently about different subjects, I'm just glad that everyone is being so honest about it. Healthy debate never hurt anyone, it's just the offensive posts that were handled quickly that bum me out. Thanks to the admin for the proper handling of a new, offensive member. -- Edited by laken1 at 11:46, 2005-04-01"

ok cool - that makes me feel better

it's hard to tell how stuff like this effects people and how they'll post in the future - so thank you for shedding light on the other side of the coin that it's a positive thing

blubirde · Chanel

quote:
Originally posted by: detroit
"you know, I'm really bummed about this whole thread. I hopped on to see it yesterday AM and thought to myself *that blog is really edge of the herd, but I love how people feel so comfortable here that they'll admit finding humor in something so controversial.* "

I think this is it. Your original thought was correct. With the exception of the one bad post and it being taken care of right away (thanks!), I think everyone has been great on this thread. I don't usually hold back, but I have in some cases for fear of... whatever (being weird, getting negative feedback, etc.). But after this thread I know I don't have to hold back at all because even when people don't agree with something I say or someone else says, they're still open and nice about it. And that's the point of the forums, isn't it? To be able to express oneself and see how and if it correlates to others with similar interests, likes, and/or internet hobbies. (If that's the only thing any of have in common, at least we know we all like the same website!)

Don't feel bad. I feel better seeing people express themselves on this forum, pro and con, because it reassures me I can be as open here as I would with my own circle of friends.